I'm happy to inform you that your son, Jeff, got straight A's, performs well on quizzes, follows directions well, and participates in class. But unfortunately... he's a fat little bastard! I took the liberty of pointing out the obvious about your child and his gargantuan ass. Also, I've enclosed a bill for repairs to our school chairs and toilet seats, due to your son's earlier mentioned immense girth. Jeff is a joy to have in class, and does well in all areas. Bradley Elementary would be terribly saddened if Jeff were to have his heart explode out of his chest, or choke to death on one of his chins in his sleep.
Our observations are simply out of concern for the mental and physical well-being of one of our students. We would prefer that he bring a backpack to school in the future, instead of his homework being filed in ink pen-labeled folds of fat.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Crabtree
I doubt those are the kinds of letters or remarks they plan to put in children's report cards, but do they really need to say anything about a kid's weight?
I'm not saying that breeding a bunch of fat kids is ok, but when did the school system decide to try and do something about it? They can barely teach kids how to read and write, so I find it a little fucked up that they would then have the balls to tell people their kids are stupid AND fat!
It won't do much but school-certify more kids as "losers" instead of letting them find out on their own that they're losers(they'll find out, just give them time). I hope to hear some story , or see some badly written made-for-tv movie about some fat kid getting a big red stamp on his report saying "grade A fat fuck", and then blowing his head off.
Also, I wonder if colleges would start holding that against future applicants? I can see it now, the Dean of Admissions is sitting at his desk, the fresh-out-of-high-school graduate sitting across from him smiling.
"Hmm, I see you were class President three years, and an honor roll student since kindergarten," says the Dean.
"That's correct, sir," the young man states enthusiasctically.
"Well, these SATs scores are certainly impressive, to say the least," states the Dean
"Thank you, sir,"
The Dean flips the page.
"Oh, well this isn't good,"
"Sir?"
"Well, it says hear your were obese three times!"
"But that was in grade school, I've filled out since then!"
"No, no, no! We can't allow such things here. You might relapse on us, and, and... Balloon Up, or something! No, this interview is over, son."
Obesity indicator on student report cards?
Texas lawmaker wants body mass index listed
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 Posted: 10:51 AM EST (1551 GMT)
AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- Texas school districts would be required to include the body mass index of students as part of their regular report cards under a bill introduced Tuesday by a lawmaker seeking to link healthy minds with healthy bodies.
When the measurement, which calculates body fat based on height and weight, indicates a student is overweight, the school would provide parents with information about links between increased body fat and health problems, said Democratic state Sen. Leticia Van de Putte.
"We should be just as concerned with students' physical health and performance as we are with their academic performance," she said.
More than a third of school-age children in Texas are overweight or obese, according to the Texas Department of Agriculture.
Arkansas implemented a similar law during the 2003-2004 school year, although the information is sent to parents separately from report cards.
Eric Allen, a spokesman for the Association for Texas Professional Educators, said most parents don't need to be told their child is overweight.
"It doesn't have a place on a report card," he said.
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