Chicken, creamy chicken, beef, oriental, pork, shrimp, etc.

What kicks ass? Ramen noodles, that's what!






I love Ramen noodles. They're one of the most ingenious creations of the 20th century. Why can't all delicious meals be as easy to prepare? Boil water, add noodles, add flavor pack, enjoy. They should make sex dolls that work that way. Put the bag in the tub, turn on the hot water, add asian-hottie flavoring, insert...



I remember when I was single, living in a house with four other people (sounds like a bad sitcom, it was a bad reality). We would get together and go shopping. I think half the food budget was ear-marked for Ramen noodles. I mean when you're just getting started on your own, and you've got a shit job while going to school, what else can you afford? Plus, do you really care? You're in your early 20s. You can operate just fine on 4 hours sleep, some Cheetos, and a half a beer for weeks at a time. I know I did.



When you love something, you also notice it's flaws. What the hell is Oriental flavoring made of?! And what is so Oriental about it (tastes like a spicier pork, to me)? And Shrimp flavor should change it's name to Fish-smell flavor. Of course, how many miracles can come out of a packet the size of drive-thru ketchup? I will however, praise Creamy Chicken as the most delicious Ramen noodle.



Another negative aspect to this inexpensive food item (less than a quarter!), is something I call "Ramen Burn-out". When you're spending all your money on tuition, alcohol, and questionable females, you tend to get lazy and buy nothing else. Which, leads to eating Ramen noodles for fuckin' weeks at a time! I enjoy them as much as anyone could (who isn't pure white-trash), but I still need variety and several flavors of Ramen is NOT what I mean. I went through a period of time where I actually had dreams about Ramen noodles! That reminds me of the Patton Oswalt joke about eating too many Ramen noodles. He had a dream he was buying an entire shopping cart full of noodles. Just when he was about to check out with his six-month supply of Ramen, Charlton Heston burts into the supermarket screaming,"Ramen noodles are people! Ramen noodles are people!"(referencing the movie Soylent Green. If you don't know, check it out)



In short, I'm gonna go make some Ramen noodles. I beleive today feels like a Pork day. What do you think?