SS9090 Blogger Awards: Returning in January '06

This isn't SilverSurfer9090: The Mind of Norrin Radd anymore, but the SS9090 Blogger Awards are returning.


My New Year's resolution is to be more critical of others and much meaner and not as nice. Just kidding.

The awards will return but I'm honestly not going to use them to attack people and provoke fellow bloggers as I have in the past. What else could I be trying to do when I tell someone that their blog sucks and they've won an award that looks like a wrinkled food stamp?


So, awards might not look the same as before, and they may not be called SS9090 Blogger Awards either. The details haven't been completely worked out except for the fact that they won't be as mean.

So, it looks like I'm going to have to start reading other people's blogs again!

Stories From The Vault: Returning in January '06

SFTV Future topics:



My sister Ashley

My brother Josh

Buying marijuana in deepest darkest West Virginia

Making a chemical bomb with friends

Joel's House III

My pal Jeremy C.

The $1200 Holiday Inn Party and the stolen car

and others...

Inspirational School Posters: Survival of the Fittest

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Don't be a victim too, children.

Christmas Loot

This is a complete rundown of my Holiday windfall. Yes, I made out like a bandit.

1. WWE Wrestlemania 1-21 Anthology DVD Box Set
This is one of those gifts that only hardcore fanboys can appreciate. Some guys would get excited for a first issue original print mint condition comic book. Others would salivate over a Star Trek box set. I spit on Star Trek! Pro Wrestling is MY nerd sustenance. I won't bore the uninitiated with details, just to say that every Wrestlemania since 1985 is in this one box.

2. WWE Smackdown! vs Raw 2006 for PS2
What fanboy doesn't also need the toys and accessories?! S vs R is to wrestling games, what Madden is to football games. Good stuff.

3. X-Men Legends for PS2
This game is cool, and it was marked down. Arcade style action mixed with puzzle-solving, and 15 playable X-Men characters. The sequel recently came out.

4. The Simpsons Complete Seventh Season on DVD
I love The Simpsons show and have been buying every season since they started putting them out on DVD. I don't watch the new episodes however, because I don't think the show has been that great the last couple years. My only complaint about the box set is a common one: Some geniuses have decided to start putting the DVDs in these cheap-ass goofy shaped character head boxes. They did it last time and I sent off for the other box which came in the mail. I got the alternative box again this time becuase it looks like the others I already have, and the new boxes suck. The alternative boxes are cheap too though, and also suck.

5. Dukes of Hazzard Season 5 DVD Set
Typical Dukes action. Positive side: this is the season that saw the return of Sonny Shroyer as Enos. Negative side: this is the season that Tom Wopat and John Schneider held out for more money and were replace for 2/3 of the season by look-a-likes Coy and Vance Duke. The stunts and storylines and still about the same if not a little better, but without the original cast, it's simply on my shelf to complete the set.

6. Ghostbusters 1 & 2 DVD Gift Set
Saw it in Best Buy for $10. Nuff said.

7. George Lopez: Why You Crying? - Showtime Stand-Up Special DVD
Funny as they get, man! They play it on Comedy Central occasionally, but cut out some of the best stuff. Right up there with Dave Chappelle's last two stand-up specials, and Chris Rock's.

8. Michael Buble - Michael Buble CD
I like this guys voice and the songs he sings. Harry Connick Jr, Tony Bennett type.

9. Disturbed - Ten Thousands Fists CD
My favorite heavy metal/hard rock act right now. Linkin Park is a close second.

10. Proctor Silex Family-size Belgium Waffle Maker
I've been complaining about the lack of waffles in our home for quite some time now, and finally my calls for grid-shaped pancakes have been answered! Thanks, mom-in-law.

11. Leather Wallet
I had a nice leather wallet, but I let it accidentally go through the washing machine too many times. My bad. I think this new one is better though.

12. Cell Phone Holder
You've probably seen these. There made out of metal wiring and when you sit your phone in it, it looks like your phone is standing there and has hands and feet. Like Mr. Potato Head, but it's Mr. Potato Phone, err... Mr. Phone Head or whatever.

A sweet bundle of stuff.

Christmas tunes

Click here to listen to 'Wham-Last Christmas'
(the link will open a new window and automatically play. I suggest clicking on the link and returning to the previous window by clicking on it along the task bar at the bottom. That way you can listen while reading this post.)

I know this is an old song, but I've never really noticed it until this Christmas. It's one of those songs that gets stuck in your head all day, but you don't mind because it doesn't suck.

Plus, it's kind of an excuse to use Putfile.com. It's free hosting of image, video and audio. I've already got a reliable image host, I'm more interested in the audio/video side.

Unfortunately, you can't hotlink or embed the files directly into your blog, but it's free so I really can't complain. I may upload some video in the future. But, I doubt anyone would want me to.


Anyway, Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, and Happy Holidays to everyone around the world, of all races, religions, and cultures. Tomorrow should be quite pimpin' and I expect to list a rundown of my take of the Christmas loot for everyone.

How sweet it is

I must say I had a stellar day at work, as I was not hassled by anyone or asked to do anything impossible by some impossible deadline. Plus, I recieved a gift card from the company to Wal-Mart. I think it's something like $20 to buy a turkey. A lot of survey companies do this, but it use to be different.

Originally they would give employees gift cards to the super market or grocery store that were ONLY good for a turkey, which didn't get recieved too well. Many of the guys would say they already had a turkey and that the card was useless. Honestly though, surveyors wanted a cash gift card so they could buy beer. Recently, I was watching one of my favorite shows, Stroker and Hoop, when one of the characters said,"Private Detective trumps Mall Cop," right before he got beat down by a Mall Cop. Well, I think Surveyor just barely trumps Construction Worker... just barely.

But, the turkey card, as so freaking amazing and life-affirming it is to get (that's sarcasm), that is not the highlight of my day. As I was leaving the office I was given an envelope. It was a bonus from my manager. Which was very surprising to me because we don't have bonuses. It came out of their pocket. I have to say Thank you, again. It's a miracle these days to actually work with/for decent people.


So, being in a stellar mood, I took a few bucks and celebrated with the purchase of the newest collection of soothing sounds by Michael Buble. I don't care what anyone says, I love that big band/swing style, and american standards. When I was paying at the check-out counter the girl at the register looked at the CD and asked,"Is it true he sounds like Frank Sinatra?"

Uh, his voice doesn't sound like Sinatra's, more like Harry Connick Jr, maybe. But, his song choices are along the lines of Sinatra or Bennett.

Plus, it's great bedroom music. You put this on and light some candles when you wanted to take your time and do things right.

Or I suppose you could play Laffy Taffy and break the bed frame, too.

Secret Santa

So, today at work was Secret Santa which was kinda cool. As I mentioned in an earlier post I got Sideshow as my gift recipient, and I wasn't sure what to get.


So, behold! Sideshow recieved this limited release special collectors editon Thermos brand stainless steel thermos with matching coffee cup for the unbelievable price of $20.00! Of course, $20 was the Secret Santa limit which made my job easier.

I was originally going to get him a stainless steel hatchet and compass (seriously), but Crystal insisted I get him something else, so the thermos eventually became my choice. Other runner-up items include: dartboard, book, massage pillow, fold-up chair.

So, Sideshow got the thermos. What did I get? I got a $20 gift card to Best Buy. The guy who drew my name didn't have a clue what to get me since I think I've spoken to him maybe two times (he works out of our sateellite office nearby). And, honestly, it was a good gift. I'm up in Best Buy like nobody's business!

I got the new Disturbed album, Ten Thousand Fists. As usual, the Disturbed boys only seem to get better with each album.

Secret Santa was pretty spiffy, and not anywhere near as bad the Christams episode of The Office. "Yankee Swap!!!"

Remix To Ignition

I was listening to Trapped In The Closet through my MP3 player when I fell asleep on the couch with a slice of pepperoni pizza sitting on my chest.

Suddenly, I was walking into the kitchen, and I heard a noise in the cabinet! I opened the cabinet and there was a midget with cherry pie crust on his face! The next thing I knew I was putting the midgets individual midget limbs through a sausage grinder and R. Kelly was spreading it on Ritz crackers, talking about pissing on a Cabbage Patch doll because he had to keep a low profile.

Then I woke up, smashed my MP3 player, and took a shower.

Chappelle's Show Season 3 in '06

During Comedy Central's Last Laugh '05 they ran the trailer for Chappelle's Show Season 3. Sort of.

Before Chappelle flipped out and went to Africa he filmed almost half (I believe) of what was supposed to be Season 3. Unfortunately, Dave left and the entire season was scrapped. Well, I guess since it looks like the show is dead and Dave isn't coming back, and people still miss Chappelle's Show, Comedy Central is planning to air the unfinished season.

I personally can't wait to see them since I was such a huge fan of the show, but I'm a little hesitant to have high hopes.

Chappelle was alledgedly under network pressure to tone down his racial material, and get episodes done quickly, which caused him to get discouraged with the direction of the show. I find that extremely absurd since it was the racial material that made up the essence, and the funniest moments, of the show.

So what might be coming may be some substandard stuff. But, I'll wait to pass judgment. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wishes they could just work out something and actually bring the show back.

Some favorites:
Clayton Bigsby
Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories: Rick James & Prince
Black Bush
Tyrone Biggums on Fear Factor

click here to watch the Season 3 trailer.

Fish and stuff

Work has been pretty good these last few weeks. We recently drew names for the office Secret Santa, and I got an unexpected one... you guessed it, Sideshow.

I don't know what I'm gonna get the guy, it's gonna take some serious thought on my part.



I've also got back into my PS2 for some reason. I finally unlocked Bret "The Hitman" Hart on my Smackdown Vs Raw game, and my create-a-character is coming along nicely in Season Mode (I know, you're riveted).


AND... for no real reason whatsoever, I bought a Betta fish. He's blue, small, and not into moving around very much, which is what drew me to him. We're like-minded.



Crystal(my wife) pointed out some bigger and better looking ones, but I'm more interested in character. Plus, I was already holding him and I couldn't put him back. As if I thought he would be hurt by the rejection(is that ridiculous, or what?!).

I named him Shelton, after WWE Superstar Shelton Benjamin, who happens to be one of my favorite up-and-coming performers right now. I believe we'll get along since I don't have to walk him, or bathe him, or pay for shots. It's a sweet deal, fish ownership.

I don't know right now

I feel lost...

I was doing fine until recently. I don't know where to take my inner apathy right now, so I suppose I'm occupying it right now.

It still feels more like an excercise to keep my eyes and ears in this space, than something of expression, but I really can't say that I know what this is suppose to feel like, it's new to me. I DO know that I don't like it, and I wish it would go away like some kind of smoke in the wind, but that's not going to happen until the flames go out. Which is the strangest part... I sometimes feel like I don't want it to go out. Because in a way the agony of it keeps me close to her. She gave me this pain because I loved her so much with all my heart, and I don't want to let go of it. I don't want to let go of her. I miss her. I need her.

I'm not sure if I can explain it to someone who hasn't felt it.

I apologize for my melodramatic words, but their as close to the truth as I can reach with words at the moment. Tomorrow is a new day, and I 'll try again.

What's up with me

Since I've been back to work we've hired two new guys to work outside. Oh yeah, one of them quit already, ha ha! Some guys (pussies) just can't handle cutting through some thick wooded areas with a machete and chainsaw all day during summer heat in Florida. Honestly, it's not that tough, if it was do you think I would be doing it?!

But anyway, the guy that didn't quit was living in his car when he got the job. He's a hard character to paint, unless that's your main focus. So, let me run off some of his stats, and you draw your own image.

1. Middle aged white male, thick glasses, cross-eyed to the extreme, skinny as a rail

2. Vietnam veteran, and former Carnie.


3. has been nicknamed "Sideshow" and "Crazy Eyes" by the other guys behind his back.

4. can't get a bank account because he lives in a motel room.

5. claims to have been an extra in the Charlie Sheen movie, Above The Law.

6. Only buys clothing that is second-hand from Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc.

7. kinda gives me the creeps.

Besides, working with a guy that looks like a potential spree killer or sex offender, I recently had a birthday on November 3rd. I'm 24 now.... I don't know, I still feel the same as I did when I was 15, which is "everyone kind of gets on my nerves except for the handful of people I've chosen to hang with".

I passed up cake and ice cream this year, and decided to instead have a turkey and stuffing, along with a bunch of other stuff. It was a great decision and I highly recommend the "Thanksgiving Birthday" approach.

Other than that things haven't changed much. I've been using myspace.com a lot more lately. I have some other things to post but I need to get them together first.

I just need a laugh

LOL!!!

Finally home, news

The funeral was this past Thursday, and I've just gotten back home. It has been, without a doubt, the longest week of my life. It was also a very beautiful service.

Some of the details that I got originally weren't accurate, but as crazy as the past week has been I can understand.

These are the news articles that have been written so far in the newspaper.

I'd also like to thank everyone for their prayers and support.

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Saturday, October 22, 2005
Last modified Sunday, October 16, 2005 11:23 AM EDT

Woman dies in truck, motorcycle collision on Greene St.
Driver held on $500,000 bond after fleeing scene, say police
From Staff Reports
Sunday, October 16, 2005 11:23 AM EDT

CUMBERLAND - A 21-year-old Cumberland woman was killed and a 23-year-old Cumberland man was injured after a truck struck their motorcycle at the intersection of Greene and Johnson streets at 11:24 p.m. Friday, according to the Cumberland Police Department.

Ashley Marie Merced was traveling north on Greene Street on a Honda motorcycle operated by Nathan Alan Dolan when a red Dodge Dakota, attempting to turn onto Johnson Street, failed to yield and collided with the motorcycle, police said.

The driver of the truck, Peter August Rosskamp, 52, Cumberland, stopped momentarily on Johnson Street and then drove toward Interstate 68, police said.

Merced was pronounced dead at the scene and Dolan, who was transported to Memorial Hospital by a Cumberland Fire Department ambulance, sustained serious injuries, according to police reports. No information was available from the hospital on his condition Saturday.

Rosskamp's truck was located, disabled, on Interstate 68, east of Hillcrest Drive; a warrant was issued for Rosskamp, who had fled on foot, and his vehicle was impounded, police said.

Several hours later, Rosskamp turned himself in, and he was served with the arrest warrant, police said.

Rosskamp was charged with negligent manslaughter with an automobile, obstruction of justice, failure to stop vehicle at the scene of an accident involving bodily injury, failure to immediately return and remain at the scene of an accident involving bodily injury, failure of driver involved in accident to render reasonable assistance of injured person, failure of driver in death accident to furnish required identification and license, failure of vehicle driver in accident to report death to nearest police, failure to stop after accident involving damage to attended vehicle, failure of driver involved in accident to give insurance policy information, abandoning vehicle on public property without permission, driving vehicle in excess of reasonable and prudent speed on highway, reckless driving, negligent driving and failure to yield intersection right of way after green arrow signal. He was being held on $500,000 bond.

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Saturday, October 22, 2005
Last modified Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:33 AM EDT

Motorcycle accidents remain under investigation
Weekend mishaps claim lives of two county residents
From Staff Reports
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 10:33 AM EDT

CUMBERLAND - Motorcycle accidents late Friday and early Sunday in Allegany County that claimed the lives of a Rawlings man and a Cumberland woman remain under investigation.

Early Sunday, a motorcycle accident on U.S. Route 220 at McCoole claimed the life of Harold Van Pelt III, 32, of Rawlings.

Van Pelt was pronounced dead at the scene after he lost control of his 1998 Harley-Davidson motorcycle, skidded and then struck the gate at the north end of the parking lot entrance to the Chat & Chew Restaurant.

Police said there were witnesses to the 1:25 a.m. accident that is still being investigated by the Allegany County Sheriff's Office. Accident reconstruction is part of the investigation.

Anyone having information about the accident should call the sheriff's office at (301) 777-5959.

In another report, Peter A. Rosskamp, 52, of Cumberland, remained jailed Monday on $250,000 bond after his truck struck a motorcycle late Friday on Greene Street, fatally injuring 21-year-old Ashley Marie Merced and also injuring Nathan Alan Dolan, 23, of Cumberland.

Merced was pronounced dead at the scene and Dolan was admitted to Memorial Hospital following the 11:24 p.m. Friday incident. Dolan was listed in stable condition Monday, according to a hospital spokeswoman.

Rosskamp fled the scene and turned himself in to Cumberland Police late Saturday morning. A warrant for his arrest was issued a few hours after the accident after police identified him as the driver of the hit-and-run vehicle.

A short time after the incident, Rosskamp's Dodge Dakota truck was located on eastbound Interstate 68 east of Hillcrest Drive where it had become disabled with a flat tire and damaged tire rim.

Police said the damage apparently resulted from the collision with the 2002 Honda motorcycle operated by Dolan with Merced as a passenger, police said.

Cumberland Police charged Rosskamp with numerous offenses, including negligent manslaughter with an automobile and failure to stop at the scene of an accident involving bodily injury.

The crash investigation is continuing with the assistance of Deputy Chris Miller, an accident reconstruction specialist of the Allegany County Sheriff's Office.

Police said the incident occurred when Rosskamp drove from a complete stop at the traffic light on southbound Greene Street and turned toward Johnson Street and directly into the path of the motorcycle.

Upon impact, the occupants of the motorcycle were ejected and were then run over by the truck operated by Rosskamp, police said.

Police said there were witnesses to the accident, including three motorists who had stopped at the traffic light in the right-hand lane waiting to travel south on Greene Street.

The motorists assisted the victims until Cumberland Fire Department ambulance personnel arrived.

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Last modified Tuesday, October 18, 2005 9:23 AM EDT

Ashley M. Merced

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 9:23 AM EDT


CUMBERLAND - Ashley Marie Merced, 21, of Cumberland, died Friday, Oct. 14, 2005, as the result of a motorcycle accident.

Born Sept. 30, 1984, in Cumberland, she was the daughter of Debra Jean (Edwards) Merced and Amado Suarez, Cumberland, and Ronald Joseph Moreno and wife Lisa, Redland, Calif.

Ashley was a sales manager for Donald B. Rice Tire Company and attended Fort Hill High School.

Surviving, in addition to her parents, are C. Jason Brooks and their daughter, Zahra K. Brooks, Fort Ashby, W.Va.; stepmother, Debbie Moreno, Redland; five brothers, Michael Wright, Kissimmee, Rene Merced, Panama City Beach, Joshua Greise, Cumberland, Michael Moreno and Scott Moreno, both of California; four sisters, Melissa Felda, Moriah Felda, both of Cumberland, Kasey Davis and Stacey Adkins, both of California; maternal grandparents, Helen Kick and husband, Denny, Tavernier and William Edwards, Wiley Ford; paternal grandparents, Rachel Martinez and husband Ted, Boise, Idaho and Ron Moreno and wife Virginia, Calif.; and grandma, Merry Dean, LaVale, and her daughters, Angelique Aman-Bowman, and Nissa Collins; and her niece, Shanna Wright.

Ashley was loved by many friends and relatives. She was a wonderful mother whose life revolved around her daughter, Zahra. She embraced life with enthusiasm. That zeal was translated to everyone who she loved. Ashley was determined to succeed in life and her ambition was always admired by those who knew her. Those who knew her best will always remember the joy she brought to their lives.

Friends will be received at the Scarpelli Funeral Home, P.A., 108 Virginia Ave., Cumberland, on Tuesday from 7 to 9 p.m. and Wednesday from 3 to 9 p.m.

Funeral services will be conducted at the funeral home on Thursday at noon with the Rev. Sherrill A. Dillon officiating.

There will be visitation one hour prior to the service.

To send condolences to the family visit http://www.scarpellifh.com.

Ashley Marie Merced

September 30, 1984 - October 14, 2005

I got a phone call at 4 a.m. this morning from Dad. He told me that there had been accident back home in Maryland, and that my oldest sister, Ashley had died. She was riding on the back of a motorcycle with a friend in the city, not doing anything reckless or crazy. They were at a complete stop a red light waiting for it to turn green, when they were rear-ended by a Chevy Tahoe and my sister was run over. She died instantly.

The driver fled the scene and so far his car has been found, but the Police are still searching for him.

So, you probably won't be hearing from me for a little while, since I need to be with my two brothers, my two other sisters, and my Mom in Maryland. Of all the tragedies in the world today is also my Mom's birthday.

Ashley left behind a beautiful little baby girl, and a lot of people who loved her. It's killing me so bad inside right now, I can't even speak, but I know she's in better place and I'll never forget my sister.

Napster vs. Limewire

When I first decided to get DSL and leave dial-up and AOL behind, I was offered a free Napster To Go mp3 player and 3 free months of downloads from Napster as incentive to make the switch. I was thinking about switching anyway, and the mp3 really didn't make a difference to me, but it seemed like a nice little goodie anyway. So, I thought it would be fun to download some songs for a little while.

WRONG!!!

The files are "right protected" and can only be played on the cheap-o mp3 player I got in the mail (looks like a Cracker Jack toy). plus, after the first three months you have to pay $15 a month for the service and if you want to burn anything to a CD it costs an additional $1 a song! WHAT KIND OF BARGAIN IS THAT?!



Well, to make a long story short, I got so freakin' mad that I couldn't make a CD out of the useless Napster files, that I immediately dumped Napster and all my files, and simply got Limewire.

I like Limewire. It reminds me of Kazaa, except that I have a much higher success and quality rating when it comes to getting good files. I don't always find what I'm looking for since it's basically paying one-time for the ability to share files with other people who've also payed to join the club. But, it's still much more fun.

So, to summarize, file sharing will not die until record industry companies learn not to be such douche bags. I WILL NOT PAY $15 BUCKS A MONTH AND A $1 A SONG FOR A 15 TRACK BEE GEES ALBUM, PUNK!!! I 'll get it for free from Kenny in Tulsa. Thanks, Kenny!

Mitch Hedburg

I've been into Mitch Hedburg's stand-up comedy for awhile, and I've been listening to his CDs again lately.

Mitch had a very distinctive Minnesota stoner-type delivery and a kind of observational humour mixed with some Stephen Wright-like thoughts and statements that made him unique and fun to listen to.

Mitch didn't explode into a big star, but was always kind of on the verge of discovery. Before he passed away at 37, he left behind two comedy albums and DVD that I never get tired of.

So, if you ever get the chance, I recommend checking out Mitch Hedburg.


"I had a Mr. Pibb. Mr. Pibb is a replica of Dr. Pepper, but it's the bullsh*t replica 'cause dude didn't even get his degree! ...Why did you have to dropout and start making pop so soon!" - Mitch Hedburg, Mitch All Together 2004


"On a traffic light green means "Go", yellow means "Yeild", but on a banana it's just the opposite... Green means "Hold on"... Yellow means "Go ahead"... And red means "Where the f*ck did you get that banana at!" - Mitch Hedburg, Strategic Grill Locations 1999

No more Hollywood biopics for me...

I recently decided to watch The Aviator despite it's DiCaprio factor. I was genuinely enjoying the movie also, until after two and a half hours, it just ended without so much as a "That's All Folks!".

I should have expected something like that too, since the last few biopics I was stupid enough to watch did almost the exact same thing. Ali being the worst offender because it told nothing new about the man and then ends in the mid 70s!

I hate to break it to Scorcese but Howard Hughes lived just a few decades longer after he flew the Spruce Goose! I wanted to see the years of his life when he was walking around with tissue boxes on his feet, and buying up all of Las Vegas, living in a sealed tower. I don't care one bit about him dating Hollywood actresses and testing airplanes, sorry.

If you can't tell a complete story about a person of notoriety from birth to death, then maybe you should pick a more accessible subject and not tell HALF the story!

Sorry, but I just feel cheated... as usual.

Hurricane Katrina

I wasn't planning on making this my next post but, that's fine. I think it's more important than whatever I was planning to post about.

I wanted to say that I feel for the people effected by this hurricane because I've been effected by plenty (just about every year) in some way here in the Florida panhandle. During Ivan we had tornadoes spinning throughout Panama City Beach and several people were killed during that storm here. Of course, we've been lucky not to have a major disaster in quite a while here.

I hope the people of Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana are able to regain some semblance of normalcy in their lives over the next few months after this great tragedy, but I know that's something that's most likely not going to be possible for a long and indeterminable amount of time. I would like to say that all those effected are in my prayers and I hope that they are in many other people's as well.

I would also like to address something that I've heard some people of so-called faith declare in the last few days that I find very disturbing and uncalled for. And that would be the conclusion that New Orleans has been put into such dire straits by the hand of God for their pursuits of a decadent and sinful lifestyle. I as a Christian could never come to such a conclusion. Not because I question God, or his will, but I'm too humble to conclude ANY act of nature is an act of God against His people. That is something that is not for ME or YOU to question, conclude or determine what the reason to God's plan is for others and why. No one knows why this has happened to Louisiana and to cast judgment on our fellow man, to say that they're suffering is their own cause because they obviously must have sinned or done something to bring this on themselves, is as dispicable and reprehensible as anything I can imagine. For those who say otherwise need to read Job again, and see for themselves that even the most righteous man of God is not exempt from pain and suffering, and those who would know better are fools just like the friends of Job were in his time. Judgment and condmemnation is not our place, uplifting and helping our fellow man is the only thing we need to be doing. Not trying to make ourselves feel superior in some spiritual self-righteousness.

On another note, I would also like to say that I'm not really too surprised that New Orleans flooded like it did after the hurricane. Everyone who lives anywhere near New Orleans knows how the pumps fail after even a heavy rain, not to mention that the city is at least 3 feet below sea level all the way through. It's practically a bowl. Maybe those new levees that weren't coming until 2018 will become a reality a little sooner. But I'm more of the mindset that maybe people shouldn't be living in that area anyway. I know I wouldn't live in such a place, but I have the luxury of not being from New Orleans and not being attatched in any way.

Either way, the response of the government seemed slower than I've ever seen before. The governor of Louisiana seems like a total dink to me. And anyone who has dealt with FEMA before can tell you those people ain't right. We've got people here still waiting on money from Ivan! I don't, however, believe it's becuase "George Bush doesn't care about black people" as Kanye West (shmuck) stated. I'm sure some people just didn't want to get shot! I know I wouldn't help people acting like they were in the Watts Riots. Why on earth would you want to shoot at people who are flying victims out of the Super Dome? Are you just that dumb? I guess people are.

Now, days and days later, they have some kind of federal presence there, and things are slowly progressing. I just hope more people don't suffer because of the lengthy delay in response, and I will continue to pray for those people effected, and I hope you do too.

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To donate or help in some way call 1-800-HELP-NOW
or go to redcross.org

UKD 08/22/05

Ugly Kids Daycare by Rene Merced Jr

with Special Guest Star
Glen Campbell

Grillin' out!

Just this week I bought a brand new Char Broil grille, and tonight I plan to use it for the first time by cooking some excellent cuts of boneless ribs and chicken. Our side item will include potato salad and corn. I also plan on having a cold beer.


(this is a kids' junior burger!)

This is a day I've been waiting for all week and it should be fantastic! Nothing beats summertime cook-outs, am I right?

I hate power windows

Why do I hate power windows? Because every car I've ever owned (Hi Dad!) has had power windows, and every car I've ever owned has failed to have windows that properly operate. Maybe it's me, maybe I shouldn't drive a Ford, maybe I'm one of many with this problem? I don't know.


But I do know THIS. It's still summer. My windows aren't working. And my air conditioner is already dead. This should get interesting real quick.

Netflix

I've recently joined Netflix, and so far I must say that I like it.


I'm not sure why it seems to feel so much better than the video store thing, but I think it has to do with knowing exactly what you're getting and that you can take all the time in the world. It doesn't hurt that Panama City, FL has a distribution center right here in town either, so I get my movie almost imediately. The first three movies we rented were American Wedding, which was very funny, Coach Carter with Samuel L. Jackson, which was better than expected, and In Good Company with Dennis Quaid and Topher Grace, which I really enjoyed and thought was a possible purchase.

I must note that the ad says $9.99 a month, but that's if you signe up to get just one movie at a time. If you do the full deal, which is what I'm in, you get three at a time, and no monthly limit.

The only downside to the whole Netflix thing seems to be that I've come to meet my mail man and he seems to be the most holier-than-thou person I've ever met.... and he is a mail man!

Other than that, I would have give it my seal of approval.

My Swear Jar

I will succeed or become broke trying


Since becoming closer to God in recent time, I've taken a longer look at myself, and my ways.

I've tried to tackle most of them at the same time, and have been pretty successful for the most part. But, my language has been a problem for a long time. Cursing has been a part of my being for as long as I can remember. I recall during my last car accident I let words fly out of me like a swarm of locusts toward the drivers in the other two cars.

But, I can't in good conscience call myself Christian if I don't strive to "walk the walk" and not just "talk the talk" everyday that I go forward as a believer. So, the Swear Jar was born.

At first, I said to my wife as we were both getting ready for bed,"I'm gonna start a Swear Jar,"

She asked me how that was supposed to work, and I explain everytime I cursed, I would have to put money into a jar as punishment. She then asked what I would do with the money and I informed her that I would get it all back at the end of the month. I was then informed that such a plan would never work. Since the punishment is the loss of money I shouldn't get it back. I saw the wheel turning in her head, that she thought she might be able to put the change to good use. So, I decided not to allow her to get it either and simply put it in the church offering plate.

So far, I've had the Swear Jar for about two weeks and I have a grand total of $4.90.

The pay scale is pretty simple:

All swear words are $00.25

The grand daddy swears are $1.00 (the F-related swears, and taking the Lord's name in vain)

At the time being I don't count Hell or Damn as swears, but I might change that.

The reason I have an amount not divisible by $00.25 is because the day I started the Swear Jar I simply emptied my pockets into the jar.

It's about a week since I've cursed and I plan to continue.

Now I need to work on my hormones!!! Man, have I lusted in my heart, ha ha ha!!! I think it's the hardest thing for me to overcome. I've come to the conclusion that if I'm not gonna look at porn or deal with myself in a "hands-on" manner, if you know what I mean, then my wife is gonna get just simply devoured every night!!! I seriously mean that.

Inspirational School Posters: Friendship

TV Dinner creator dies

Inventor of TV Dinner dies at 83
First TV dinners drew hate mail from husbands
Wednesday, July 20, 2005; Posted: 7:27 p.m. EDT (23:27 GMT)

Gerry Thomas shows the present-day successor of his invention in this 1999 photo.

PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- Gerry Thomas, who changed the way Americans eat -- for better or worse -- with his invention of the TV Dinner during the baby boom years, has died at 83.

Thomas, who died in Paradise Valley on Monday after a bout with cancer, was a salesman for Omaha, Nebraska-based C.A. Swanson and Sons in 1954 when he got the idea of packaging frozen meals in a disposable aluminum-foil tray, divided into compartments to keep the foods from mixing. He also gave the product its singular name.

The first Swanson TV Dinner -- turkey with cornbread dressing and gravy, sweet potatoes and buttered peas -- sold for about $1 and could be cooked in 25 minutes at 425 degrees. Ten million sold in the first year of national distribution.

It was fast and convenient, and fit nicely on a TV tray in the living room, so that you didn't have to drag yourself away from your favorite television show.

'Modular' eating

Robert Thompson, director of the Center for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University, said the TV Dinner "started a change in American eating habits bigger than any change in culinary history since the discovery of fire and cooked foods."

The TV Dinner fit in with societal changes at the time, when more women were entering the work force and did not have the time to spend all day preparing dinner, Thompson said. It also helped introduce the notion of "modular" eating: If there were only two people at home, you put only two dinners in the oven.

"Some people claim that the TV Dinner was the first step toward breaking up the American family because it made it possible for everybody to eat in a modular way," Thompson said. "That was going to happen anyway. The redefinition of the American family was going on anyway."

In a 1999 Associated Press interview, Thomas recalled that the inspiration for the TV Dinner came when he was visiting a distributor, spotted a metal tray and was told it was developed for an experiment in the preparation of hot meals on airliners.

"It was just a single compartment tray with foil," he recalled. "I asked if I could borrow it and stuck it in the pocket of my overcoat."

Bonus pay for creation

He said he came up with a three-compartment tray because "I spent five years in the service so I knew what a mess kit was. You could never tell what you were eating because it was all mixed together."

Since interest in television was booming, he added: "I figured if you could borrow from that, maybe you could get some attention. I think the name made all the difference in the world."

"We had the TV screen and the knobs pictured on the package. That was the real start of marketing," Thomas said.

The TV Dinner drew "hate mail from men who wanted their wives to cook from scratch like their mothers did," Thomas said, but it got him a bump in pay to $300 a month and a $1,000 bonus.

"I didn't complain. A thousand dollars was a lot of money back then," he said.

After the Campbell Soup Co. acquired Swanson in 1955, Thomas became a sales manager, then marketing manager and director of marketing and sales. He left the company after a heart attack in 1970.

He later directed an art gallery and did consulting work.

"It's a pleasure being identified as the person who did this because it changed the way people live," Thomas said. "It's part of the fabric of our society."

Thompson said that until last year, Thomas had spent one day each summer talking to Thompson's history of television class for graduate students.

"This was really fun for them," Thompson said. "This was like meeting a great American industrial legend. So many things we take for granted remain anonymous. We know the architect that designed St. Peter's, but who knows the architect that designed that basic ranch-style house?"

The TV Dinner, Thompson said, is "one of the few things we've got that we actually have the human being who had his fingerprints all over it."

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

---

I hear when Gerry was cremated, they didn't cook him long enough. He was hot and burned on the outside, but still frozen in the middle.

What if wrestlers were... doctors?

I would trust my wife's cooch with Hawk and Animal, The Road Warrirors, because they always got the job done and were the only tag team to hold the tag team championship belts in every major promotion. And it's obvious by the serious looks on their faces, that they would kick any vaginal intruder into the next stratosphere.

"So, you think you're tough, huh, yeast infection?! Can you handle the Doomsday Device, our deadly finishing move, or this topical cream?! I didn't think so, punk!"

I do wonder, however, if it would be offsetting for any of the female patients if Hawk continued to use his catchphrase,"Uuuuuugh Whaaat Aaa Rush!"? Hmm, Who knows?

Template change

I recently needed to widen my content by a few pixels. If the blog is displaying strangley, please e-mail me. I've meade changes in the past and had problems not visible from my viewpoint. So, if that may be the case again, please let me know.

Thanks.

Inspirational School Posters: Discrimination

It's been awhile since we've seen an Inspirational School Poster on Bitch, Please. I apologize (I've been doing that a lot, latley).

Hurricane Dennis

Man, what a waste of a weekend Hurricane Dennis turned out to be!



I was so looking forward to having this past weekend off since it was a long week at work, and when it finally got here, Hurricane Dennis came along and f**ked everything up(I'm trying to stop swearing. eventually, I hope to be completely curse-free)!

Friday at work was a little weird. When I got there everyone was making plans to leave town and putting plastic over the computers. So, not being one to fight a chance to go home early on a Friday, I joined suit and left for the day. When I got home, however, my wife had been watching the news and the weather channel all day and was getting worried. They were saying Dennis was up to a Category 4, and the projected path was "somewhere between Mobile and Apalachicola", which wasn't very comforting since Mobile is 3 hours west of here, and Apalachicola is 2 hours east.


At this same time, my dad, step-mother, and brother and sister were on vacation in Puerto Rico, so no one was at the house which is on the beach and less than a mile from the shore. I tried reaching my dad on the phone in San Juan but couldn't get through. I decided I to put his hurricane shutters on since he was out-of-town and couldn't do it. Man, was that a pain in the ass. It took about three hours to do the entire thing.

So, after going home and watching the news, I said to my wife that if we're leaving we need to do it now, and not later. She decided she wanted to leave, so we packed our bags for about three days travel, and left for her aunt's house in Memphis, Tennessee with my wife's mother and niece also along for the ride.



So, after about ten hours of listening to my mother-in-law tell my wife to watch the speed limit, and seeing a billboard for an erotic bar called Wesley's Boobie Trap, we arrived.



I spent most of the next day swimming in her aunt and uncle's pool. The weather was pleasant, and her Memphis relatives were a lot cooler than the immediate family. They were much more mellow and knew how to control the volume and tone of their voices (mother-in-law, this means you!).

I really liked meeting my wife's cousin Adam. He's a musician in his 30s and he's currently working with a producer on his new album with his band. We weren't really in Memphis long enough to get to see the sites, but Adam told us that the next time we were there he could get us in clubs and bars all over town for free since his band plays all over Memphis. I heard one of his CDs before I got to meet him. My wife said it was from his last band that wasn't together anymore, and that it wasn't very new anymore, but it sounded pretty good. It had kind of a Three Doors Down quality to it, but not as melodramatic, I thought.

Well, after being there about two days, we had to drive all the way back to Panama City. I drove most of the way, going about ten miles over the speed limit the whole way, but strangely I never heard a sound out of my mother-in-law. I listened to Huey Lewis, Bare Naked Ladies, Eddie Money, R.E.M., and my Christian Rock CDs more than twice each. I was also treated to another interesting sign. This one was outside of a church and it stated "give Satan an inch, and he'll be a ruler". Hmm, how true.... how true, ha ha.



When we got back to our home, we found not a damned thing blown over or destroyed! No roof damage, no FEMA lines, no power outages, nothing! I didn't want MY place to get devoured but I thought I was gonna see some kind of storm impact. Hurricane Ivan took the same course through here and did some real damage around here. We had several tornadoes in the street (one actually hit the news channel as they were reporting), and several people died. But this time, not a thing.

It could be worse, I could be looking at the sun through a damp hole in the roof right now, but fortunately, I'm not.

The weekend wasn't a total loss, I suppose, since I finally forced myself to sit down and finish reading Dan Brown's Angels & Demons. I wish I could recommend it to people, but I can't really go out on that limb. I'm not exactly sure why I had such a hard time finishing the book since I flew right through Da Vinci Code, but I think it was because the books are so similar at the outset, and it seems like you're reading the same book at first. The last 100 pages were great, but it's hard to give a thumbs up on that criteria since it's a 569 page book (hardback).

I've decided to make F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby my next read. I'm not sure why I chose that one but I have and I've already read the first chapter. I've been reading more books of the Bible lately too, and going to church more frequently. It seems to balance me, and get me in a good place after a week of work and family crisis. In my last few scans, I've read Genesis, Exodus, Job, Mark, and I'm in Samuel 1 at the moment. So far, Mark has been the most entertaining, as it reads like Jesus' Greatest Hits, while Job was probably more thought-provoking.

I also bought and watched Greatest Wrestling Superstars of the '80s, which was cool.

I still haven't been able to find the balance between being on the PC at work ,and being on the PC at home. It's tough for me to get online after staring at the damned monitor at the office all day. Am I the only one with that problem? Although, I think I'm slowly starting to get there.

Over The Top

I was in Best Buy yesterday when I spotted something I had been waiting for forever: Over The Top on DVD. It's one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure movies.


I know the story is quite ridiculous and far fetched, but the fun of it outweighs the film critic in me, and I enjoy the absurd characters in the last few minutes of the film.


Like Bull Hurley, and John Grizzly, and of course, Sylvester Stallone has a classic action hero name in the film as Lincoln Hawk.

The son in the film gets a little obnoxious with his constant crying, but I overlook that. I more enjoy the small cameo role of Texas pro wrestling legend Terry Funk as Robert Loggia's bodyguard, and the 80s pop song in the film Meet Me Half Way by Kenny Loggins.

They don't get much better/worse than Over The Top. And it was only $10.00!

Poor Tom Cruise

Tom can't seem to catch a break right now in the media. And I thought I might just add a little to it.

I've become an "office rat"

About two weeks ago my career took a new direction. I left survey field work and became a survey CAD tech full-time. Since then I've kind of been adjusting to the office environment. It's been interesting so far.



I must say up front that I truly enjoy my job and I work with some great people. Ok, now that I've said that, let me say I don't think I completely enjoy what I am becoming a part of, or maybe I'm just scared to conform or grow up.

When I was working in the field as an Instrument Man, I really felt like I was working and accomplishing something. It was hard work, extreme temperatures, sharpening machetes, using chainsaws, walking through waist-deep swamps filled with water moccasins. The office feels almost sinful.

I'm sitting at a computer desk with my internet radio playing, eating my english muffin. At lunch time, everyone pops in and out of everyone else's office asking who's eating at Hunt's Oyster Bar, or going to Friday's. I get e-mails all day long of cutesy jokes about the difference between men and women throughout the work day, and I connect dots on a monitor screen to make survey drawings.

I know I went to school to be a CAD tech and NOT a field surveyor, but surveying is what I've been doing for the past 2 years of my life and I'm good at it. I was recently offered a raise to come to work for a company I left a year ago because they say they need someone who knows what they're doing. It's actually quite flattering for me since I started out only two years ago making only a little more than minimum wage and now I'm in demand.

I'm probably just over-reacting. I think my blue collar roots are just fuckin' with my head (most of my family fixes cars in some way, and dress like Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard 24/7). I'm sure I'll get chemically dependent on the office air conditioning and I'll forget all about ever working outside again. It's just gonna take me a moment. Because I hate Yuppies, and I fear... I shall become one.

The Dukes of Hazzard

Lately, I've been watching more Dukes of Hazzard than anyone should. You see, what happened was I had Season 1 on DVD... and some time went by before I noticed Season 2 and 3 were both out, so I bought them at the same time. Ever since then I've been Duke-watching fool!

But I can't complain, It's one of my all-time favorite television shows. I love the stunts, the corny acting, the bad projected backgrounds while the actors are driving, and I just love the pure escapism of it.



A lot of people know that the success of Smokey and the Bandit helped spawn the Dukes. In fact, the formula for the show isn't too different from the film. But I think the show had much fuller characters in it than Smokey.

1) There's that bold yellow font again! Almost every show from the 70s and early 80s has that yellow title.
2) Tom Wopat was Luke Duke and pretty underrated by most fans because Luke never seemed to drive the General Lee (word is, that Tom was a pretty bad driver so John Schneider handled most of it). I also enjoy Tom's delivery of lines. Everything is said like it was just discovered in his head. The guys on CHiPs spoke the same way. Of course, Tom came from acting on stage and has since gone back to Broadway.
3) John Schneider was the ladies' man Bo Duke. He was also the one who did most of the "Yee Haw"s on the show. John was also proficient in the art of 70s television punch throwing. He always punches for the moon. Now John is Superman's dad on the WB show Smallville.
4) Catherine Bach. Mmmm mmm mmm. For some reason Daisy Duke had to wear panty hose or she couldn't wear those trademark shorts. Censors thought it was too sexy.
5) Denver Pyle was the wisest motherfucker in Hazzard County, and he was unforgettable as Uncle Jesse. He was such a moral character it was hard to believe he was supposed to be an ex-moon shine runner. Denver Pyle was also in other shows like Grizzly Adams and the Davey Crockett movies from Disney.
6) Sonny Shroyer was probably the most likable character on the show as good hearted Deputy Enos. Plus, he was the oldest virgin in Hazzard County. Shroyer got his own spin-off show after the second season called Enos, but it didn't do so well.
7) Ben Jones' Cooter Davenport seemed to be the only tow truck driver, mechanic, or person with dirty clothes in Hazzard County. But he was cool none the less.
8) James Best was simply kick-ass. Roscoe Coltrane was a stammering idiot and his driving always took him into a dry creek bed, tree, or right into a lake. He had a kind of Jimmy Stewart way of speaking, and his laugh was unforgettable.
9) Sorrell Booke was simply hilarious as Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg. In actuality, Sorrell wore a fat suit for the part, and spoke English so properly he practically had a British accent. He was just that good at acting silly as Boss Hogg.
10) Without the Balladeering of Waylon Jennings, the show just wouldn't be the same. Plus, you wouldn't know when the commercial break was coming up.
11) Sherriff Rosco in flight.
12) The General Lee jumping over a river.
13) Deputy Enos in hot pursuit of the Duke boys.
14) The General Lee jumping a moving train.