We've only got two more days until we sing "Cha na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye" to 2004 and usher in the new year: 2007. We skipped 2005 and 2006 cause they suck.
No, really, two more days until 2005. So, I thought it would be a good idea (especially since I got here first... kiss my ass, Norrin! AHAHAHAHAHA! I rule the wooooorld!) to make a list of some of the memorable moments that we've experienced over the last year. As the deadites used to say.... Join us!
Janet Jackson's Nipple Slip
Janet Jackson, sister of child-molesting pop sensation Whacko Jack-er, Michael Jackson, was in the Superbowl halftime show. During this show, Justin Timberlake (of N*SYNC fame) ripped off the protective covering to one of her lucious black boobies, exposing the nipple and it's fancy little ring thing.
This lead to several things... One being that 13 year olds across the nation went simultaneously blind the hours following (if you don't get that, then get the fuck out of this blog).
Another thing is lead to was the PTC (Parental Television Council, or something like that) making a big bitch-fest out of the situation. They bitched and bitched and bitched at NBC for "allowing this to happen." Whatever, PTC, whatever.
I don't really care here because nobody really watches the halftime show anyway. People watch the Superbowl for the commercials. Although SOME diehard fans or whatever MIGHT watch it a little bit for the stimulating football game, but mostly the commercials.
How many kids actually saw this, anyway? Football is a sport for people over 18 to watch anyway, because it's just slightly too complicated for smaller children. Yeah, I said it. Smaller kids don't like football because it's COMPLICATED. They'd rather be watching Smallville or The Simpsons or some other retardo TV shows. Football is designed specifically for males who, more likely than not, have seen more than their fair share of pooty tang and mammories. It's not that big of a deal, seriously, it's just a nipple. Guys have them too, why don't they bitch about seeing those? Oh my God. Society is fucking stupid.
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Paris Hilton's Climb to Being Fam...Scratch That, Infamous
Paris Hilton: star of several movies and a TV show. Most of those movies happen to be extremely low production with no director/producer/writer/gaffer/best boy/*insert random film job here* to speak of, but had they been released in theaters, Spider-man 2 and Shrek 2 and Passion of the Christ would be eating DUST.
Basically, what I'm saying is that Paris Hilton is a ho. She's made a couple of dirty movies that've quickly taken the internet and 12 year old boys' computers by storm. That's right, she's a PORN ACTRESS. She became very, very famous as a result of these makeshift porn videos.
So, how do you kill the steam off of a chick that's famous for a porn video? Make her famous by giving her a primetime TV slot to show off just how spoiled and pathetic she really is!
Seriously, America, what the fuck are you thinking? You're supporting someone that's not even that good looking just because of a dirty movie? Fuck, I own movies a lot nastier than that on DVD. Go get some lives, you little shits.
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Michael Moore's Bitching
We saw a whole new side of that big fat asshole this year. Now, I was already pissed off at him because of Bowling for Columbine. While I did find it to be slightly informative and had some genuinely entertaining parts, it just pissed me off and I thought he crossed the line when he kept bugging Charleton Heston. Bitch about freedom of speech all you want, but he was an asshole for that part.
And then comes Farhenheit 9/11, which really just pissed me off. I never even saw it, but knew that it was a load of shit from the beginning. And it is. While I hear that it does raise a lot of questions that should be considered, I believe that a DOCUMENTARY should serve the purpose of revealing ALL SIDES of the equation. To me, Fahrenheit 9/11 is nothing but more propoganda to add on top of propoganda to try and blind us into seeing another truth. I'm sorry, but I don't believe that one lie can solve another one.
While he may be trying to expose the lies that we're told, a half truth still isn't the truth on any situation. And fuck Michael Moore for making such a blatantly biased attack. Michael Moore is one of the sole reasons that I was glad Bush won the election... just so we could flip Michael Moore off and tell him about how he failed.
Michael Moore proved an age-old adage: If you piss on someone long enough, eventually someone's going to stick up for him. And that's exactly what Michael Moore did... he pissed on President Bush to the point where even some of his own Democrats gave a middle finger and supported Bush. End of story.
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BUSH versus KERRY
Personally, I voted for Bush. Now, I like Kerry's plans better (except the one for health care, but neither had a particularly good plan for that that would actually happen), but I refuse to get behind someone I don't respect.
I don't respect Kerry because he willingly signed up to be in the army, then bitched about it. That's right. He joined the army, where he was trained to FIGHT and DEFEND, on his own accord. Then after Vietnam, he comes back home and bitches about the war. I can't respect this. Being somewhat of an Army brat myself... I believe that if you willingly sign up to fight for America, because that's what the Army is, the fighting organization of America... then you don't have the right to complain about stuff that you were "forced" to do. Don't come crying home to momma because the Army actually made you do what you were trained for! It's stupid, mother fucker! I think it's a big slap in the face to everyone who has ever been in the military to come home and bitch about having to fight when that's all the military is.
The leader's agenda isn't the point at any rate when you're in the military. It doesn't matter why you're fighting. All that matters is that you're fighting, because that's what you wanted to do. Anyone who joins the Army not expecting to go into a war, regardless of the cause, is just a moron and shouldn't be in the military in the first place.
If you don't like that point of view, kiss my rotting butt! I'm Leroy "Mother F'ing" Zombie. I have this right.
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The End of the World?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
No, not the end of the world. Just a whole lotta crap that's gone down. Florida's gotten hit by like, 74 hurricanes... there's that tsunami that's killed around 1000 people... a flu vaccine shortage... SARS... West Nile (although that was kinda last year)... you just have all kindsa bad shit going down. What can we do? Sit back and pray? Wait for Jesus to come back?
Eh, screw that. Go party, get drunk, and screw a virgin or seven. It'll be good for you, builds character. So we had a bad year... it's not the end of the world. The new year is only 2 days a way, so lets just go into it, take a big whiff, and realize that you're living in the 12th most polluted city in the country. That sucks, doesn't it?
Well, go take a big breath out of your oxygen tank, and look for a brighter day! Cause new year's in this weekend, and I'm gonna get so plastered!
Cheers, mates!
-LZ
Wow. I think I all that stupid sent my head spinning.
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