My butler fell down a flight of stairs a few weeks ago. He spent many months in the hospital and in rehabilitation, after having several vertebrae in his neck fused. He even had to wear a halo to keep from straining his repaired body. To make a long story short, Farnsworth has gotten very, very lazy!
He takes at least ten minutes longer to bring me my breakfast in the morning, up the six flights of stairs form the kitchen to my chambers(I don't allow the help to use the elevator). And asking him to bend down and put on my shoes, gimme a break! He starts to cry about the pain, oh the pain! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PUT ON MY WING TIPS, YOU PUSSYHAIR! Of course, I sympathized with Farnsworth, but I can't tolerate laziness.
He even has the audacity to lecture me about not hitting him in the neck when I beat him with my whip, for insolence. I'm beginning to believe I have to bring in his children to work in the house instead of on the tractors. But, I still think 5 and 6 years old is too young to do housework. They might just have to keep the thrashers and hay balers running.
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