Maybe he knows where Elvis is too!
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Friday, October 29, 2004
MTV, You Suck Rat Asses!
I'm sitting here, my laptop on the coffe table, eating my Lucky Charms in my pajamas(basketball shorts and a t-shirt, don't get scared). Watching some MTV while I'm typing this post. I just noticed something about the Real World. The people on the Real World are total fuckin' mongoloids!
They get to the house, and meet each other. Then they realize they want to fuck each other because they're all shallow and they want to fuck other shallow people. But they all have loved ones back home... but fuck that! Then there's the self-hating gay guy, the stereo-typical flamboyant gay guy, the bitchie girl, and the slut. Oh yeah, and the white bread "I've never met a black or homosexual" country bumpkin guy.
Then they make these alcoholics work with kids! And also, the shallow fuckers get pissed at their boyfriends and girlfriends for not waiting for them, while they suck cocks at the Real World house.
All in all, these people make me sick and I wish the Real World would actually reflect the REAL WORLD! Put some fat people on their, the black british girl doesn't count anymore! Put some ugly bitches on their, who aren't angry or all gothed-out!
Whatever, the show sucks ostrich balls just like the rest of MTV programming.(I realize I have a link to MTV on my blog, but... well, you'll just have to figure it out for yourself!)
And don't interrupt the show with Yoko Ono telling me(without specifically telling me) to vote for John Kerry! That bitch has no talent or soul! P. Diddy too! I don't listen to fake gangstas with mohawks! Or so-called rappers who have parties in the Hamptons with Martha Stewart!
Short and sweet- Everyone at MTV who wants to tell me what to do, BURN IN HELL WITH THE CAST OF "FRIENDS"!
They get to the house, and meet each other. Then they realize they want to fuck each other because they're all shallow and they want to fuck other shallow people. But they all have loved ones back home... but fuck that! Then there's the self-hating gay guy, the stereo-typical flamboyant gay guy, the bitchie girl, and the slut. Oh yeah, and the white bread "I've never met a black or homosexual" country bumpkin guy.
Then they make these alcoholics work with kids! And also, the shallow fuckers get pissed at their boyfriends and girlfriends for not waiting for them, while they suck cocks at the Real World house.
All in all, these people make me sick and I wish the Real World would actually reflect the REAL WORLD! Put some fat people on their, the black british girl doesn't count anymore! Put some ugly bitches on their, who aren't angry or all gothed-out!
Whatever, the show sucks ostrich balls just like the rest of MTV programming.(I realize I have a link to MTV on my blog, but... well, you'll just have to figure it out for yourself!)
And don't interrupt the show with Yoko Ono telling me(without specifically telling me) to vote for John Kerry! That bitch has no talent or soul! P. Diddy too! I don't listen to fake gangstas with mohawks! Or so-called rappers who have parties in the Hamptons with Martha Stewart!
Short and sweet- Everyone at MTV who wants to tell me what to do, BURN IN HELL WITH THE CAST OF "FRIENDS"!
Great Moments In Film
The first "love scene" I ever saw in a film. My eight year old mind was changed forever.
Farnsworth
My butler fell down a flight of stairs a few weeks ago. He spent many months in the hospital and in rehabilitation, after having several vertebrae in his neck fused. He even had to wear a halo to keep from straining his repaired body. To make a long story short, Farnsworth has gotten very, very lazy!
He takes at least ten minutes longer to bring me my breakfast in the morning, up the six flights of stairs form the kitchen to my chambers(I don't allow the help to use the elevator). And asking him to bend down and put on my shoes, gimme a break! He starts to cry about the pain, oh the pain! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PUT ON MY WING TIPS, YOU PUSSYHAIR! Of course, I sympathized with Farnsworth, but I can't tolerate laziness.
He even has the audacity to lecture me about not hitting him in the neck when I beat him with my whip, for insolence. I'm beginning to believe I have to bring in his children to work in the house instead of on the tractors. But, I still think 5 and 6 years old is too young to do housework. They might just have to keep the thrashers and hay balers running.
He takes at least ten minutes longer to bring me my breakfast in the morning, up the six flights of stairs form the kitchen to my chambers(I don't allow the help to use the elevator). And asking him to bend down and put on my shoes, gimme a break! He starts to cry about the pain, oh the pain! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PUT ON MY WING TIPS, YOU PUSSYHAIR! Of course, I sympathized with Farnsworth, but I can't tolerate laziness.
He even has the audacity to lecture me about not hitting him in the neck when I beat him with my whip, for insolence. I'm beginning to believe I have to bring in his children to work in the house instead of on the tractors. But, I still think 5 and 6 years old is too young to do housework. They might just have to keep the thrashers and hay balers running.
That Not-So-Fresh Feeling
It finally happened! After 22 years of life on this planet as a man, I finally fully matured. I had my period.
I was at the country club with grandma, playing tennis with Jenny, when it came. I reached down into my white shorts and felt something wet inside my underwear. The club got silent, and everyone froze to watch what I was doing. When I pulled my hand out from my crotch, it was covered in blood! I ran screaming like a banshee across the tennis court toward Jenny. I cryed out,"Why God, Why?," and I rubbed my hand against the side of her face. She swung her racket across the side of my head, knocking me to the ground. My crotch clots were dangling from her cheek.
Grandma was watching from the sidelines, at the courtyard tables with a look of shock and horror in her eyes. I charged at her like a raging bull, with my red palm directly in front of me, screaming at the top of my lungs,"My pee-pee is fuckin' broken!," That's when I saw the .22 pistol come out of grandma's bag.
After I awoke in the hospital, and got over my initial shock, and I came to grips with my new maturity. The Next day, me and grandpa went to the pharmacy together and bought some panty liners.
I had become a man!
I was at the country club with grandma, playing tennis with Jenny, when it came. I reached down into my white shorts and felt something wet inside my underwear. The club got silent, and everyone froze to watch what I was doing. When I pulled my hand out from my crotch, it was covered in blood! I ran screaming like a banshee across the tennis court toward Jenny. I cryed out,"Why God, Why?," and I rubbed my hand against the side of her face. She swung her racket across the side of my head, knocking me to the ground. My crotch clots were dangling from her cheek.
Grandma was watching from the sidelines, at the courtyard tables with a look of shock and horror in her eyes. I charged at her like a raging bull, with my red palm directly in front of me, screaming at the top of my lungs,"My pee-pee is fuckin' broken!," That's when I saw the .22 pistol come out of grandma's bag.
After I awoke in the hospital, and got over my initial shock, and I came to grips with my new maturity. The Next day, me and grandpa went to the pharmacy together and bought some panty liners.
I had become a man!
Ferris Bueller Jerks Off
How (sticky)sweet it is, to be loved by you.
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OCTOBER 27--More than a year after actor Jeffrey Jones was convicted of paying a boy to pose for explicit photos, the teenager, now 19, has sued the star of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" for alleged sexual abuse. In the Los Angeles Superior Court complaint, filed Monday, the alleged victim--whose name we have redacted since he was a minor when he posed for Jones--contends the actor subjected him to "physical and sexual abuse" during 1999-2000. He cites assorted "deviant behavior," all of which allegedly occurred in Jones's Los Angeles home, including naked photo shoots during which Jones directed the boy, then 14, to "play with yourself." Last July, the 58-year-old Jones pleaded no contest to a felony charge stemming from his explicit photo sessions with the boy. Jones was sentenced to five years probation and ordered to register as a sex offender and undergo counseling.
(click to enlarge)
OCTOBER 27--More than a year after actor Jeffrey Jones was convicted of paying a boy to pose for explicit photos, the teenager, now 19, has sued the star of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" for alleged sexual abuse. In the Los Angeles Superior Court complaint, filed Monday, the alleged victim--whose name we have redacted since he was a minor when he posed for Jones--contends the actor subjected him to "physical and sexual abuse" during 1999-2000. He cites assorted "deviant behavior," all of which allegedly occurred in Jones's Los Angeles home, including naked photo shoots during which Jones directed the boy, then 14, to "play with yourself." Last July, the 58-year-old Jones pleaded no contest to a felony charge stemming from his explicit photo sessions with the boy. Jones was sentenced to five years probation and ordered to register as a sex offender and undergo counseling.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
My Glory Days
That's me in the third row, far right. I learned how to table dance from the best in the business.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Dave Coulier Involved in Double Murder
Former television star, and stand-up comedian Dave Coulier finds himself involved in one of the most bizarre crimes in Hollywood history. Coulier, who was recently featured in the VH1 reality show The Surreal Life, was having a party at his Orange county home Thursday night when the murders he stands accused of took place.
Coulier invited several of his former Full House cast mates to his home for an early veiwing party for the last episode of his recent reality show. Bob Saget, John Stamos, and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were all in attendance, along with the parents of the Olsen twins. Friends noted strange and quirky behavior during the party by Dave. Reportedly, during the show, Mary-Kate Olsen giggled at something involving Mr. Coulier. Shortly, after her outburst, Coulier went into a fit of rage. He threw cocktail weenies at Bob Saget, and tossed a gourmet cheese ball at John Stamos.
This photo was taken just hours before the tragedy, at a local bar. Coulier is seen here with known drug dealer, Paul Gouldheim.
Five minutes later, Coulier came out of his bedroom carrying a Glock 9mm. Witnesses say he then shot both of the Olsen parents, and took off his pants, reportedly telling Mary-Kate she needed to "eat something, bitch! You're lookin' a little thin!". After climaxing in the Mary-Kate's mouth, Dave apologized for his behavior, and blamed it on "too much crack".
When police arrived Coulier was lying naked on the living room floor clutching a shoebox full of provocative photos of Bob Saget. Coulier claims they were taken in between breaks on the show at least 7 years ago. Mr. Saget had no comment.
Coulier invited several of his former Full House cast mates to his home for an early veiwing party for the last episode of his recent reality show. Bob Saget, John Stamos, and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were all in attendance, along with the parents of the Olsen twins. Friends noted strange and quirky behavior during the party by Dave. Reportedly, during the show, Mary-Kate Olsen giggled at something involving Mr. Coulier. Shortly, after her outburst, Coulier went into a fit of rage. He threw cocktail weenies at Bob Saget, and tossed a gourmet cheese ball at John Stamos.
This photo was taken just hours before the tragedy, at a local bar. Coulier is seen here with known drug dealer, Paul Gouldheim.
Five minutes later, Coulier came out of his bedroom carrying a Glock 9mm. Witnesses say he then shot both of the Olsen parents, and took off his pants, reportedly telling Mary-Kate she needed to "eat something, bitch! You're lookin' a little thin!". After climaxing in the Mary-Kate's mouth, Dave apologized for his behavior, and blamed it on "too much crack".
When police arrived Coulier was lying naked on the living room floor clutching a shoebox full of provocative photos of Bob Saget. Coulier claims they were taken in between breaks on the show at least 7 years ago. Mr. Saget had no comment.
Talkin' Urinal Puck Advertising
Hey guys, that woman you heard in the men's room is no lady. It's probably just an interactive urinal communicator and you're only crazy if you talk back.
Taking "targeted advertising" to a new extreme, Country Music Television is using a talking urinal drain cover to advertise its Oct. 29 special, "CMT Greatest Outlaws: The Dirty Dozen".
When a guy steps up to the urinal, he'll hear a sexy woman's voice cooing, "Don't miss 'Outlaws' on CMT. You seem to miss everything else!"
The motion-activated device, called a "Wizmark," lasts for more than 10,000 flushes and features flashing lights, alternating pictures and a 10-second voice recording.
"We're talking about a very captive audience," says CMT spokesman James Hitchcock. "And this is one way to grab a guy's undivided attention."
Be warned, ladies: A sit-down "Wizmark" will be available faster than you can say, "How about a little privacy?"
Perhaps urinal advertising isn't right for all products, but Molson beer in Canada recently entered into an agreement with Wizmark to advertise a new brew in bars and clubs.
"We think urinal ads have the potential to be great for public service announcements for drinking and driving or safe sex," says Wizmark President Richard Deutsch, who recently patented the device.
Wizmark not only delivers advertising, it replaces the soap puck found in urinals, acting as a deodorizer.
Future versions of the Wizmark may allow the urinal to be turned into a veritable shooting gallery, giving points to guys when they hit specified targets.
"That could be the next big competitive sport," says Deutsch, who is obviously flush with success.
"Beginning with early attempts at writing one's name in the snow, there has already been an element of recreation associated with urination for men."
The urinal ad suits CMT's "Outlaws" show, which was pre-recorded and features such bad boys as Hank Williams Jr., who moons the audience during his performance.
"We wanted to do something outrageous," says Hitchcock. "Obviously, this wouldn't have been suitable to promote a show like 'The 100 Greatest Love Songs.'"
Taking "targeted advertising" to a new extreme, Country Music Television is using a talking urinal drain cover to advertise its Oct. 29 special, "CMT Greatest Outlaws: The Dirty Dozen".
When a guy steps up to the urinal, he'll hear a sexy woman's voice cooing, "Don't miss 'Outlaws' on CMT. You seem to miss everything else!"
The motion-activated device, called a "Wizmark," lasts for more than 10,000 flushes and features flashing lights, alternating pictures and a 10-second voice recording.
"We're talking about a very captive audience," says CMT spokesman James Hitchcock. "And this is one way to grab a guy's undivided attention."
Be warned, ladies: A sit-down "Wizmark" will be available faster than you can say, "How about a little privacy?"
Perhaps urinal advertising isn't right for all products, but Molson beer in Canada recently entered into an agreement with Wizmark to advertise a new brew in bars and clubs.
"We think urinal ads have the potential to be great for public service announcements for drinking and driving or safe sex," says Wizmark President Richard Deutsch, who recently patented the device.
Wizmark not only delivers advertising, it replaces the soap puck found in urinals, acting as a deodorizer.
Future versions of the Wizmark may allow the urinal to be turned into a veritable shooting gallery, giving points to guys when they hit specified targets.
"That could be the next big competitive sport," says Deutsch, who is obviously flush with success.
"Beginning with early attempts at writing one's name in the snow, there has already been an element of recreation associated with urination for men."
The urinal ad suits CMT's "Outlaws" show, which was pre-recorded and features such bad boys as Hank Williams Jr., who moons the audience during his performance.
"We wanted to do something outrageous," says Hitchcock. "Obviously, this wouldn't have been suitable to promote a show like 'The 100 Greatest Love Songs.'"
School District Bans Halloween Parties
SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) -- A Washington state school district has banned Halloween parties during the school day because it says children dressed up as goblins and witches take time away from learning, officials said Thursday.
"Our number one priority is protecting the instructional day," said Puyallup School District Superintendent Tony Apostle after the district canceled observance of the October 31 celebration.
Apostle said the 20,000-student district, located about 30 miles south of Seattle, doesn't have enough time in the day as it is to teach students everything they need to know.
District spokeswoman Karen Hansen said most Puyallup schools haven't had Halloween celebrations or observations for years.
Schools that want to have Halloween parties are welcome to have them, she said, but only after the school day ends.
Other U.S. schools have banned Halloween festivities because some families don't celebrate it for religious reasons and other cannot afford costumes.
SilverSurfer9090: It sure sucks koala sack when kids can't slack-off during halloween. Besides, it's Public School. They won't be learning anything even if they DO have class! Blaming the religious and poor kids is just a cop-out too. I remember when I was a little kid on Welfare. I painted my face with my Dollar Store make-up kit, and ate my candy with the rest of the kids dressed like G.I. Joe, and He-Man! Grown-ups are just pussin' out again. As for the religious kids... well there gonna cry no matter what! That's there jobs as goodie two-shoes! Which is also why they get stabbed on the playground... for their shoes.
"Our number one priority is protecting the instructional day," said Puyallup School District Superintendent Tony Apostle after the district canceled observance of the October 31 celebration.
Apostle said the 20,000-student district, located about 30 miles south of Seattle, doesn't have enough time in the day as it is to teach students everything they need to know.
District spokeswoman Karen Hansen said most Puyallup schools haven't had Halloween celebrations or observations for years.
Schools that want to have Halloween parties are welcome to have them, she said, but only after the school day ends.
Other U.S. schools have banned Halloween festivities because some families don't celebrate it for religious reasons and other cannot afford costumes.
SilverSurfer9090: It sure sucks koala sack when kids can't slack-off during halloween. Besides, it's Public School. They won't be learning anything even if they DO have class! Blaming the religious and poor kids is just a cop-out too. I remember when I was a little kid on Welfare. I painted my face with my Dollar Store make-up kit, and ate my candy with the rest of the kids dressed like G.I. Joe, and He-Man! Grown-ups are just pussin' out again. As for the religious kids... well there gonna cry no matter what! That's there jobs as goodie two-shoes! Which is also why they get stabbed on the playground... for their shoes.
Pie Assassins
Conservative columnist attacked with pies.
Ann Coulter was just happy to taste some pie, after spending time at her summer home in Somalia.
Meet "Al Pieda" disciples Phillip Edgar Smith and William Zachary Wolff. The Tucson men, both 24, were arrested last night after throwing custard cream pies at author Ann Coulter during her speech at the University of Arizona. Portions of the pies connected with the conservative commentator's face and shoulder, according to the police report, which quotes Smith saying that he and Wolff were "throwing the pies at her ideas not at her." Cops also noted that a post-arrest search of the assailants turned up "pieces of paper (propaganda) involving Coulter's name and the explanation of 'Al Pieda.'" Smith, a UA student, and Wolff were charged with criminal damage, a felony, and misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct, vandalism, and assault without injury. The felony charge resulted from damage to a backdrop that school officials estimated at $3000. The report describes the woven cloth backdrop as a "muslim scrim." The pie provocateurs were booked into the Pima County Jail--where the below mug shots were snapped--and scheduled for a court appearance today. If you're wondering about the sheets Smith and Wolff are wearing, they're not Bedouins. As a courtesy, the Pima jailers use them to cover the lockup's standard-issue orange jumpsuits.
SilverSurfer9090: The bitch should be thankin' God it was a pie and not a fucking bullet! I say that as a conservative myself!
Ann Coulter was just happy to taste some pie, after spending time at her summer home in Somalia.
Meet "Al Pieda" disciples Phillip Edgar Smith and William Zachary Wolff. The Tucson men, both 24, were arrested last night after throwing custard cream pies at author Ann Coulter during her speech at the University of Arizona. Portions of the pies connected with the conservative commentator's face and shoulder, according to the police report, which quotes Smith saying that he and Wolff were "throwing the pies at her ideas not at her." Cops also noted that a post-arrest search of the assailants turned up "pieces of paper (propaganda) involving Coulter's name and the explanation of 'Al Pieda.'" Smith, a UA student, and Wolff were charged with criminal damage, a felony, and misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct, vandalism, and assault without injury. The felony charge resulted from damage to a backdrop that school officials estimated at $3000. The report describes the woven cloth backdrop as a "muslim scrim." The pie provocateurs were booked into the Pima County Jail--where the below mug shots were snapped--and scheduled for a court appearance today. If you're wondering about the sheets Smith and Wolff are wearing, they're not Bedouins. As a courtesy, the Pima jailers use them to cover the lockup's standard-issue orange jumpsuits.
SilverSurfer9090: The bitch should be thankin' God it was a pie and not a fucking bullet! I say that as a conservative myself!
Dial-a-Whore!
Local newspapers have it all! News, entertainment, job listings, and advertisements! Oh, the advertisements... what gems of rural commerce they are! Of course, they have call girl services too! I'm sure I'm gonna call a woman to come over to my place for an "In/Out Call", and NOT have sex with her! Pardon me, I have to go laugh myself into a coma!
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"In/Out Calls, huh?...I get it!"
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"In/Out Calls, huh?...I get it!"
"The Crippler" Chris Benoit
I try not to be a lame-ass "Ebert&Roeper", but sometimes you watch a movie or a show, and you want to talk about it, or spread the word. I bought this DVD about WWE Superstar Chris Benoit when I was at the pit of hell( the local mall), and was really surprised by it. I wasn't surprised in it's presentation, or style( I already own most of the WWE Superstar's DVDs), but this one seemed much more personal and real than most of them do. I know my wife enjoyed it, and that's saying something. Of course, she's told me before that the documentaries on the lives of the performers are more interesting to her than the DVD extras, like famous matches and stuff like that. It gave you a lot of inside info on a quiet, passionate, and kick-ass pro wrestler. Anyway, if you read this page and you're a wrestling fan, I recommend picking it up. If you're not a "rasslin'" fan, I apologize for insulting your intelligence with this crap about some guy you never heard of. But it's not my fault you're not cool enough to watch coreographed fights between two grown men in their underwear!
Friday, October 22, 2004
Vote or Die( Choose or Lose/ P. Diddy Remix )
"Vote y'all...I thought I told ya' that we won't stop, I thought I told ya' that we won't stop!"
I went out for a little while today, and when I came back I checked my answering machine. I had a message from Puff Daddy. It was a shitty recording telling me to get out and vote, because if I didn't vote I couldn't bitch and complain about things in the country. First of all, I don't care for "Puffy" for several reason already( he has no talent, he sucks walrus balls,...and he has no fucking talent!). And secondly, after hearing the damned thing I was hit with a revelation. The motherfucker can barely form full coherent sentences! Plus, I don't take political advice from a guy who's been in court more than Judge Wopner, or a dude who lost his bitch to Ben Affleck! VOTE OR DIE!!!...Suck an elephant scrotum! Besides I don't trust a douche nozzle who says on television he has no political agenda, and mentions nothing, but democratic talking points on my answering machine! Go dig up Biggie, put a bellow in his mouth, fill him with air, jump on his belly, and record whatever the fuck comes out because that's the only way I'll ever pay attention to anything related to you, Poofy!!!
The Dukes and The Bandit
I heard on the radio that Burt Reynolds, The Bandit himself, is also in the Dukes of Hazzard movie, with Jessica Simpson, and whoever else they've chosen to make a mockery out of a classic television show. After hearing the rumors of Ashton Kutcher playing one of the Duke boys, I was feeling a little screwed over. But maybe Burt can help make this big screen remake not suck. Jessica Simpson looks amazing, but I don't picture her as Daisy. She's too sweet. Daisy is supposed to be "white trash" sexy. Not a big deal though. If they make the movie an action/comedy like Starsky & Hutch, it better be more action than comedy. That's all I'm sayin'. I don't want to see clown versions of cool characters. But if the Ashton Kutcher rumors are true...it's too damned late.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
"I don't kill people, I kill demons..."
Loofa sponges, phone sex, threesomes, and a "vibrator shaped like a little cock". How shameful, Bill O'Reilly!
My Favorite Spokesperson
Thank God, O.J. finally got some of his endorsement deals going again! I was starting to feel sorry for him.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Thank you, Satan!
Hey kids, remember Howie Mandel?! No? He was the voice of Gizmo in Gremlins, and Bobby in Bobby's World! Still nothing?! He used to do a stand-up routine where he would put a rubber glove over his head and blow it up with his nose until it popped! No clue?! Well, anyway, Howie is rich! And he owes all his success to the same system that made stars out of Carrot Top, Gallagher, Ben Affleck, Alan Thicke, Bob Saget, and many others! It's called...Satan! And now, Howie is offering his system to YOU! Attend classes at any of our convenient locations, or attend online! Plus, your credits are transferable! You can learn such things as: How to become famous without any talent, how to give your competition cancer, how to suck the soul out of a newborn baby, and many others! So, what are you waiting for?! Make that call today, and change your life forever!
Disclaimer: Before receiving your degree, you will be required to sell your soul to the dark lord, Satan(through the representative of Mr. Mandel). All souls are non-refundable after sale. This ad is trademarked by Howie and Satan Productions.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Warner Bros.: An Unknown Cast As Superman
"We're not leaving until we get to audition too! Isn't that right, squeaky?!"
Just a week after the death of Christopher Reeve, Warner Bros. is poised to fill his old Superman tights with an obscure but hunky 25-year-old TV actor.
Brandon James Routh is the studio's choice to play Superman in an untitled $200 million blockbuster set to begin filming early next year in Australia, Latino Review and several entertainment Web sites reported yesterday.
Warner Bros. wouldn't comment on the reports, but sources confirmed Routh, aka "B.J." Routh, was in talks for the role that rocketed the then-unknown Reeve who, like Routh, cut his acting teeth on a TV soap opera to international stardom in 1978.
Several established actors including Josh Hartnett, Jake Gyllenhaal and Brendan Fraser reportedly passed on the role, fearing they would become typecast as Superman, as did Reeve (who made three sequels) and George Reeves, the actor who played the comic-book hero on TV in the 1950s.
Most recently, Jim Caviezel, who played Jesus in "The Passion of the Christ," had actively campaigned to portray the Man of Steel.
But director Bryan Singer said that unlike his predecessors on the project, he was committed to casting a relative unknown.
Routh is believed to have beaten out such other low-profile contenders as Jason Behr ("Roswell"), Henry Cavill ("The Count of Monte Cristo") and Jared Padalecki ("New York Minute") for the highly sought role.
"Wow, I guess casting an unknown is best really," said Kevin Smith, who wrote a draft of the long-in-development epic several years ago, when it was going to star Nicolas Cage and be directed by Wolfgang Peterson, and then Tim Burton.
"Charlie's Angels" helmer McG had most recently been set to direct, but stepped out earlier this year when Warner Bros. refused to let him shoot in North America for budgetary reasons. He was replaced by Singer, who shot the first two "X-Men" movies.
Iowa native Routh, who appears in a Superman costume in a photo taken last Halloween and posted on his Web site, has made guest appearances on such sitcoms as "Will & Grace" and "Gilmore Girls." The 6-foot-2 former model had regular roles on MTV's late-night soap opera "Undressed" and the daytime soap opera "One Life to Live."
When he was fired from the soap two years ago, Routh posted an angry account on his Web site blasting the show's producers.
"Instead of being open and honest with me, they were conniving and malicious," he wrote.
He removed the message several hours later and apologized for it.
Superman won't be Routh's movie debut he has a small role in a low-budget thriller called "Deadly" already in the can, awaiting release next year.
The new Superman movie due out in 2006, the first since "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace" flopped in 1987 reportedly has the Man of Steel returning to Earth after a six-year absence to do battle with evil.
No other casting choices have yet been revealed, but recent Internet speculation centers on Mischa Barton as Lois Lane.
"I heard Singer's thinking about [Kevin] Spacey as Lex Luthor, which is awesome," Smith told The Post.
SilverSurfer9090: I don't know about this news, but we'll see. Of course, I still haven't SEEN this dude!
Special Olympics: "The President isn't one of ours."
Statement regarding derogatory portrayal of Special Olympics athletes in flier
October 2004
From the office of Timothy P. Shriver
Chairman and CEO, Special Olympics
We at Special Olympics are astounded and appalled by a flier being distributed in Tennessee showing the head of President Bush superimposed on the body of a Special Olympics athlete, with the statement, "Even if you win, you're still retarded."
We see this communication as an egregious, gratuitous insult to our almost 1.4 million athletes in over 150 countries around the world and a stunning affront to the 170 million people in the world who have intellectual disabilities.
We cringe at the thought that any one of these capable and courageous athletes would ever have to endure the agony, embarrassment, pain and suffering that this flier would certainly cause.
We hope that the person or persons responsible for this outrageous poster would come forward, identify themselves, and explain to the people of Tennessee and everywhere else why they would choose to denigrate the spirit, courage, and accomplishments of the Special Olympics athletes.
Sadly, this type of ignorance and bigotry is not uncommon. Comedians in the United States regularly mock people with intellectual disabilities; a common playground taunt even today is "retard"; people with intellectual disabilities remain the last to be respected or included in our schools, health care institutions, and society at large.
Our commitment in this political season and in every other is to reverse this ignorance and bigotry and to replace them with the stunning realization that many people with intellectual disabilities are, in fact, among the most gifted within our communities. Their valuable skills for promoting acceptance and understanding are most desperately needed in the political process and in the world today.
There is no reasonable and legitimate defense of this hateful material. We would expect those responsible to make an abject public apology and a sincere, determined effort to clear the public domain of this offensive material.
SilverSurfer9090: Basically, what they're saying is, Don't call special olympians "George W. Bush". It's just not fair to the olympians.
October 2004
From the office of Timothy P. Shriver
Chairman and CEO, Special Olympics
We at Special Olympics are astounded and appalled by a flier being distributed in Tennessee showing the head of President Bush superimposed on the body of a Special Olympics athlete, with the statement, "Even if you win, you're still retarded."
We see this communication as an egregious, gratuitous insult to our almost 1.4 million athletes in over 150 countries around the world and a stunning affront to the 170 million people in the world who have intellectual disabilities.
We cringe at the thought that any one of these capable and courageous athletes would ever have to endure the agony, embarrassment, pain and suffering that this flier would certainly cause.
We hope that the person or persons responsible for this outrageous poster would come forward, identify themselves, and explain to the people of Tennessee and everywhere else why they would choose to denigrate the spirit, courage, and accomplishments of the Special Olympics athletes.
Sadly, this type of ignorance and bigotry is not uncommon. Comedians in the United States regularly mock people with intellectual disabilities; a common playground taunt even today is "retard"; people with intellectual disabilities remain the last to be respected or included in our schools, health care institutions, and society at large.
Our commitment in this political season and in every other is to reverse this ignorance and bigotry and to replace them with the stunning realization that many people with intellectual disabilities are, in fact, among the most gifted within our communities. Their valuable skills for promoting acceptance and understanding are most desperately needed in the political process and in the world today.
There is no reasonable and legitimate defense of this hateful material. We would expect those responsible to make an abject public apology and a sincere, determined effort to clear the public domain of this offensive material.
SilverSurfer9090: Basically, what they're saying is, Don't call special olympians "George W. Bush". It's just not fair to the olympians.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
The "No Sin" Zone
Recently, Bill O'Reilly was accused of sexual harrassment by one of his former television producers.
"This guys says, Jelly! No spin, folks..."
I always knew he was into something a little "freaky deaky", I was just waiting for the dam to break eventually. Bill is actually the reason this news is out there since he sued her first, saying she was trying to blackmail him into paying her off. He says he is innocent, and must "fight the good fight, folks". I personally, don't give a rat's ass...but it should get more interesting before it's over.
"This guys says, Jelly! No spin, folks..."
I always knew he was into something a little "freaky deaky", I was just waiting for the dam to break eventually. Bill is actually the reason this news is out there since he sued her first, saying she was trying to blackmail him into paying her off. He says he is innocent, and must "fight the good fight, folks". I personally, don't give a rat's ass...but it should get more interesting before it's over.
McNugget Sauce
"Oh yeah! I'm lovin' it, you little clown-bitch!"
After the "hands-on" approach proved successful for the Burger King, Ronald McDonald was becoming desperate to make up some ground in the "Fast Food War".
Saturday, October 16, 2004
State Tourism Ad
"Huh? Nah, man! I said I was takin' a SHIT!"
I think I know where I'm taking my next vacation!
Doogie:SVU
I was sitting in the doctor's office flipping through People magazine when I saw this ad:
(click to enlarge)
Just kidding, of course. But I'm sure some people would actually watch, and completely enjoy, something as retarded as this.
(click to enlarge)
Just kidding, of course. But I'm sure some people would actually watch, and completely enjoy, something as retarded as this.
Wrestling Deaths and Steroids
Steroids played a role in the deaths of several pro wrestlers since 1997, according to medical examiners, family members and the wrestlers themselves, including:
•Curt Hennig, 44, died of acute cocaine intoxication in February 2003, medical records show. But his father said last year that a lethal combination of steroids and painkillers contributed to his death.
•"The British Bulldog," Davey Boy Smith, 39,died in 2002 in Canada of an enlarged heart with evidence of microscopic scar tissue, possibly from steroid abuse, a coroner said. "Davey paid the price with steroid cocktails and human-growth hormones," says Bruce Hart, a veteran trainer who worked with Smith and was his brother-in-law.
•Louie "Spicolli" Mucciolo, 27, died from coronary disease in his San Pedro, Calif., home in 1998, according to his autopsy. Investigators found an empty vial of the male hormone testosterone, pain pills and an anxiety-reducing drug. The Los Angeles County coroner's office determined the drugs might have contributed to his heart condition.
•Richard "Ravishing Rick Rude" Rood, 40, died from an overdose of "mixed medications" in Alpharetta, Ga., in 1999, his autopsy shows. In 1994 he testified that he had used anabolic steroids to build muscle mass and relieve joint pain.
•"Flyin' "Brian Pillman, 35, was taking painkillers and human-growth hormones when he died from heart disease in 1997, his widow said several years ago. Investigators found empty bottles of painkillers near his body in a Minnesota hotel room.
•Ray “Big Boss Man” Traylor, recently passed away, no information on cause has been released yet.
Curt Hennig and Rick Rude
Mike "Road Warrior Hawk" Hegstrand died from an enlarged heart caused by high blood pressure at 46. Mike "Crash Holly" Lockwood died from what a medical examiner ruled a suicide at 32. A lethal combination of painkillers was found in his system.
Mike Lozanski died from what his family says was a lung infection at 35. His relatives are awaiting an autopsy report.
All died within five months of each other. All were professional wrestlers with bulging muscles on sculpted bodies. The deaths received little notice beyond obituaries in small newspapers and on wrestling Web sites, typical of the fringe status of the $500 million industry.
Yet their deaths underscore the troubling fact that despite some attempts to clean up an industry sold on size, stamina and theatrics, wrestlers die young at a staggering rate. Since 1997, about 1,000 wrestlers 45 and younger have worked on pro wrestling circuits worldwide, wrestling officials estimate.
USA TODAY's examination of medical documents, autopsies and police reports, along with interviews with family members and news accounts, shows that at least 65 wrestlers died in that time, 25 from heart attacks or other coronary problems — an extraordinarily high rate for people that young, medical officials say. Many had enlarged hearts.
Illegal steroid use in professional sports has gained plenty of attention: President Bush in his State of the Union address in January urged athletes and professional sports leagues to stop steroid use, and a federal grand jury has been investigating Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative.
However, it is pro wrestling where the problem appears to be the most pervasive and deadly. In five of the 25 deaths, medical examiners concluded that steroids might have played a role. Excessive steroid use can lead to an enlarged heart. In 12 others, examiners in medical reports cited evidence of use of painkillers, cocaine and other drugs.
The widespread use of drugs and the deaths associated with it raise questions about a largely unregulated business that is watched on TV and in arenas by an estimated 20 million fans a week, including children. Those fans will tuned in for the industry's biggest event, WrestleMania XX.
Fifteen current and former wrestlers interviewed by USA TODAY say they willingly bulked up on anabolic steroids, which they call "juice," to look the part and took pain pills so they could perform four to five nights a week despite injuries. Some admit to use of human-growth hormones, a muscle-building compound even more powerful and dangerous than steroids. And many say they used recreational drugs.
"I experienced what we in the profession call the silent scream" of pain, drugs and loneliness, says wrestling legend "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, 49, who has been in the business more than 30 years. "You're in your hotel room. You're banged up, numb and alone. You don't want to go downstairs to the bar or restaurant. The walls are breathing. You don't want to talk. Panic sets in and you start weeping. It's something all of us go through."
Scott "Raven" Levy, 39, says he used steroids and more than 200 pain pills daily before he kicked the habit a few years ago. "It's part of the job," Levy says. "If you want to be a wrestler, you have to be a big guy, and you have to perform in pain. If you choose to do neither, pick another profession."
The costs are high. Wrestlers have death rates about seven times higher than the general U.S. population, says Keith Pinckard, a medical examiner in Dallas who has followed wrestling fatalities. They are 12 times more likely to die from heart disease than other Americans 25 to 44, he adds. And USA TODAY research shows that wrestlers are about 20 times more likely to die before 45 than are pro football players, another profession that's exceptionally hard on the body.
Some wrestlers bet among themselves on who will die next, says Mike Lano, a former wrestling manager and promoter.
Steroids-ingrained culture
Unlike amateur wrestling, which is a competitive sport in high school and college, pro wrestling combines sports, stunts and storytelling. The results are scripted.
Pro wrestling does not test for performance-enhancing drugs such as steroids. Nor are they banned by wrestling organizations as they are in pro football, basketball and baseball.
That is one reason, wrestlers and industry watchers say, that use of steroids and other drugs in pro wrestling has gone largely unchecked. It also has been ingrained in the culture for decades. Several of wrestling's biggest names, including Hulk Hogan and former Minnesota governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura, years ago acknowledged using bodybuilding drugs.
"There was a joke: If you did not test positive for steroids, you were fired," former wrestler and broadcaster Bruno Sammartino told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch in 1991.
"That's a cop-out," says Vince McMahon, head of wrestling's biggest organization, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). "These guys took steroids because they wanted to.
"Because we are the most visible organization, we get the black eye," adds McMahon, noting that only two of the 65 deceased wrestlers died while working for his company. "It is alarming whenever young people pass away from these insidious causes, but you can't help someone if they don't want to help themselves."
Piper says he lived on a steady diet of muscle builders and painkillers for more than two decades.
The amateur boxer and wrestler left home in Canada at 13. A promoter noticed his "mean streak" and paid him $25 to fight the legendary Larry "The Axe" Hennig in Winnipeg. Piper made a lasting impression with his entrance: Clad in a kilt, he ambled to the ring as his bagpipe band played. Hennig pinned the 15-year-old in 10 seconds, the shortest of Piper's 7,000 matches, but Piper quickly was assigned to shows in Kansas City, Montreal and Texas.
Soon Piper had become one of the industry's best-known villains. By the mid-1980s, he was the foil to Hogan, the WWF's golden boy. Wrestling had become a pop-culture phenomenon. Both moonlighted as movie and TV stars, had their own action figures and hobnobbed with celebrities.
Even so, Piper never forgot what he heard as a penniless teenager. "A promoter said to me, 'If you die, kid, die in the ring. It's good for business.' "
A 'rock god' lifestyle
Despite, or because of, its testosterone-fueled danger, wrestling attracts mostly young men to a circuslike life built on outsized personalities, "ripped" bodies and death-defying stunts. Newcomers dive headfirst into the rough-and-tumble profession. Current and former wrestlers interviewed say they live on the edge and see few career options. Only a handful of stars have more than a high school education. During a typical 15-minute match, combatants exchange choreographed body slams and punches. Some leap from top ropes onto cement surfaces outside the ring.
In more physical "hard-core" matches, wrestlers are smashed through tables, whacked in the head with steel chairs and punctured with barbed wire and tacks. Those antics are not fake. "Wrestling is sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll because we have a rock god kind of thing going," Levy says.
Top performers make more than $1 million annually. Millions of youngsters pine to become the next Mick Foley. He parlayed death-defying stunts — he plunged more than 20 feet from steel cages and was frequently bloodied — into a multimillion-dollar wrestling career. He has since written books on wrestling that made the USA TODAY best-seller list.
But for every star, scores of others toil in obscurity at run-down gyms. "Strongman" Johnny Perry, 30, who died of cocaine intoxication in North Carolina in 2002, moonlighted as a repo man. Curtis Parker, 28, accidentally killed in practice in St. Louis in 2002, also worked at a Jack in the Box.
Some, like Hegstrand, fade from being headliners at sold-out football stadiums — as he was in the early and mid-1990s — to performing at high school gyms and armories. For nearly two decades, Hegstrand — a hulking figure with wrecking-ball biceps who died in October — freely admitted he indulged in hard living. Though he didn't specify what he took, he made it clear that pro wrestling was fraught with steroids, pain pills and recreational drugs. Then came the sobering news: Years of excess had created a tear in his heart.
"I'd put just about everything (drugs) in me that was humanly possible during my wrestling career," Hegstrand told wrestling radio talk-show host Lano in April 2003.
Hegstrand spent his last few years barnstorming in wrestler-turned-evangelist Ted DiBiase's "Heart of David Ministry" promotion. When he died, traces of marijuana were found in his body, according to his autopsy report.
Others, like Lozanski, wrestle despite serious injuries. More than 18 months after he took a nasty fall that damaged his lungs during a match, Lozanski traversed North America, wrestling for small promotions. He died unexpectedly in his sleep in December.
Michael Hegstrand
"That's the nature of the business," says Chris Lozanski, 31, Mike's brother and a former wrestler. "Mike felt he had to keep working. I left the business because I want to see my 11-month-old son grow up," he says.
Since he could walk, Lockwood wanted to be a wrestler. What the 5-foot-8 Lockwood lacked in height, he made up for in determination and tireless training, his mother, Barbara, says. "Everyone laughed when this kid said he would make it, but he did."
Lockwood won more than 20 titles in the WWE and a cult following from 1998 to 2003.
With fame came sacrifices. Lockwood was in constant pain and began using prescription painkillers 18 months ago. He also gained noticeable bulk and was irritable — two signs of steroid use. But when Barbara asked, her son denied using them.
Mike Lockwood
Lockwood was released from his WWE contract after five years on July 1 because it did not have "further plans for his character," the WWE said in a statement.
He was about to move back to California, where he planned to reunite with his high school sweetheart and their 7-year-old daughter. He planned to perform in Japan and train young wrestlers. "He was on his way home, but he didn't make it," Barbara says. Lockwood died in November in Florida. He was 32. A medical examiner ruled it a suicide from an overdose of painkillers. But Barbara thinks it was an accident. "Mike had too much to live for," she says.
Wrestling on trial
When anabolic steroids were cast as a controlled substance in 1991, federal law made purchases and possession of them illegal except for medical purposes. Two grand jury investigations shortly thereafter resulted in admissions of steroid abuse by a handful of big wrestling names and the 1991 conviction of a urologist, George Zahorian of Harrisburg, Pa.
He was convicted of 12 counts of selling steroids and painkillers to a body builder and several WWF performers, including Piper (whose real name is Roderick Toombs) and Hogan (Terry Bollea).
"The doctor had shopping bags with our names on them that were filled with steroids and prescription drugs," Piper says.
Shortly thereafter McMahon was indicted. But he was acquitted of charges of conspiring to distribute steroids to wrestlers.
The probes led to stringent drug testing in the WWF, but only for a few years. A few stars were suspended for flunking tests. By late 1996 the program was scrapped because of the expense — and other wrestling organizations didn't test or were lax in enforcement, the WWF said at the time.
Jerry McDevitt, the outside legal counsel for McMahon's wrestling organization, contends testing "just doesn't work" because wrestlers can fake urine tests or use designer steroids that are undetectable. "Anybody who wants to beat it can beat it. The only ones who are caught are stupid," he says.
Last year, the WWE — the WWF changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment after a copyright dispute with the World Wildlife Fund in 2002 — let go star performer Jeff Hardy for refusing to undergo drug rehab treatment. Within weeks, several wrestling organizations lined up to hire him.
Major promoters say the industry has moved on from its "Wild, Wild West" days of the late 1980s.
Young wrestlers take better care of themselves. "The new guys play PlayStation in their hotel rooms," wrestler Sean Waltman, 31, says.
WWE, the largest wrestling organization in North America with 125 wrestlers, says it tests for recreational drugs if there is probable cause. If a wrestler refuses rehab, he is booted. It has cut weekly performances to three or four, down from about five in the mid-1990s. And it has improved training techniques to minimize injuries.
"Steroids and painkillers (aren't) a professional choice but a lifestyle," says WWE wrestler John Cena, 26, who at 6-1 and 240 pounds is the size he was when he played college football. "I've learned to play in pain. If it's a serious enough injury, I take time off."
McMahon says he requires only that his wrestlers are in shape, not that they're "the size of monsters," as many were in the 1960s, '70s and '80s. "We're not looking for bodybuilders," he says.
The No. 2 wrestling employer, NWA-TNA, is considering mandatory drug testing. In November it began offering medical coverage for injuries inside and outside the ring to its 35 contracted wrestlers — the first time a pro wrestling organization has done so. It is considering medical and dental coverage.
But such reforms help only those wrestling for the top two organizations, leaving hundreds of wrestlers largely working under the same conditions as years ago.
Not much has changed on the regulatory front, either. Attempts by wrestlers to unionize have flopped. They have no player associations, as do football, basketball and baseball players.
In most states, oversight of pro wrestling is left to local athletic commissions. They usually have lenient prematch requirements. In New York, for example, performers are subject to little more than a blood-pressure test.
"No one is standing up. Either they don't know what's going on or they're terrified of being blacklisted," says wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer, echoing the sentiment of others.
For now the only one standing up seems to be Piper. He says he forfeited hundreds of thousands of dollars in potential earnings because his outspokenness about rampant steroid and drug use got him fired from the WWE in June.
The WWE denies Piper's allegations. It says the two were unable to negotiate a contract.
Piper doesn't allow any of his four children to watch wrestling — or harbor dreams of being a wrestler. He is sober, living on a 12 1/2-acre spread near Portland, Ore. He is hardly down on his luck. He's been in 26 movies, such as They Live, and TV's The Love Boat and The Mullets since 1978. He has agreed to appear in the movie Fish in a Barrel with Burt Reynolds.
Yet he clings to hopes of another big payday in wrestling. He suggests he and McMahon take their feud over Piper's dismissal to the airwaves.
"It would be great reality TV: two strong personalities going at it over a topical issue," he says, wistfully. "Maybe we could save lives in the process."
A journey through steroids, injuries, pain pills and prison
Del Wilkes was willing to do anything, he says, to be a star. When the former University of South Carolina All-America football star failed to make the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1985 and Atlanta Falcons in 1986, he decided on wrestling despite a college degree in criminal justice. "I wanted to be an athlete — and this was it," he says.
Del Wilkes
Wilkes, now 42, started taking steroids in college to bulk up as an offensive lineman. He increased his dosage to become even larger in pro wrestling. His weight went from 225 pounds in high school to 275 in college. He got up to 300 when wrestling.
Overuse of steroids led to persistent arm injuries. Wilkes popped pain pills so he could perform up to 200 times a year as "The Patriot." He says his bosses once gave him an ultimatum: perform with a torn arm muscle or be replaced. (The WWF denies Wilkes' claim and says his contract was not renewed in 1998 because of chronic injuries.)
Eventually, Wilkes says he was taking up to 30 bodybuilding tablets a day and gobbling pain pills and muscle relaxants to get through the day and sleeping pills at night. The next morning he would use cocaine as a pickup, he says.
While traveling, he befriended doctors to get prescriptions or wrote his own. He was arrested 20 times in South Carolina from 1997 to 2002 on charges of using fake prescriptions.
The only way he kicked his 150-pill-a-day habit was a nine-month prison term in South Carolina in 2002-03 that, he says, "saved my life." He now is a car salesman in Columbia, S.C.
Friday, October 15, 2004
In Memory of Steve Guttenberg
Oh, he isn't dead yet...but when you reach the point capture in this photograph, maybe you should be.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The Macho Man's Musical Review
SilverSurfer9090: I know this isn't new news, but I thought if I refreshed everyone's memory, people might actually buy this thing! The fact that it exists is reason enough for me. It's like one of those things you dream about after eating something weird before you go to bed. Only this time it's real! The Macho Man has a rap album!Look for this CD cover the next time you're at the mall. You might want to read this review before you buy it though.
By: Badseed
Of all the wrestlers, Ron Killings, BG James and John Cena, who are trying to bring the hip hop genre to wrestling, who would have thought that an old school wrestling star, like the Macho Man Randy Savage, would garner mainstream hip hop/wrestling attention with his very first rap CD, Be A Man. Go figure?
Yes, I couldn't believe Savage would come out with a rap CD; maybe rock, but not rap. I thought it was a joke as many people did, but it was true; it came out in early October and commercials and interviews popped up everywhere pushing this CD. I had to check it out for myself.
Be a Man is not the greatest rap CD. You cannot compare this CD to Eminem's work; Jay-Z's last CD or 50 Cent, but as far as rap goes, this is not a horrible CD by any means. For a wrestler who we never even knew liked rap and probably didn't, this CD is certainly worth a listen. Shaquille O'Neal can make basketball related CD's (and only his first was any good), why can't a wrestler put out a CD of rap with a wrestling feel.
I'm the wrestling king/but now I'm spitting lyrics/took it right from the ring/cause I wanted you to hear this. (I'm Back)
Basically, Be a Man is a lot of fun. I started getting used to the delivery and actually love the fact that he raps in his wrestling voice. It works and the fact that there was some great production, nice beats, decent hooks performed by Savage's backup group, the Rascals, and smart references to other artists like Q-Tip, Be A Man is not a joke. It doesn't hurt that a lot of the songs are catchy.
R U Ready/Are you all ready for this/cause if you are/Pump your fist like this/R U Ready/Keep it going on and on/We're gonna rock it baby all night long..
Savage even has the guest of guests, DJ Kool, who is often underrated. This guy gave us Let Me Clear My Throat and now he is banging with Savage on Hit the Floor and is as good as ever in getting people jacked and pumped by just his style alone.
Remember Me features Savage rapping more mellow and it comes off nice with a great hook by the ladies. I love when the ladies sing the hook. How could you forget about me/forget all about me/Remember me/I'm the same ol' Macho that I used to be/Still the reigning king/so remember me. The girls do their thing again on Macho Thang, another entertaining song.
Be a Man also features two rock/rap songs like Tear it Up and Feel the Madness. I liked the rock sound and there are even some tender moments like the love song, What's That All About and the emotional track, My Perfect Friend featuring the R&B sounds of Prymary Colorz. This is a nice song with some tender words for the late, great Mr. Perfect Curt Henning.
Mr. Perfect's the name that will never be forgotten/As long as Macho's around, I'mma keep your spot in wrestling history/Cause you were all about perfection/you were one of the best, very high on my list/Not just in the ring, but out of the ring, you're dearly missed. A lot has to do with the delivery and whether you like it or not, you can tell it came from the heart.
Of course, who can forget about the title track, Be A Man where Savage tries to punk out Hulk Hogan. Hot diggity damn (I love that part)/Hulk you set it off/used to be hard, Hulk/Now you done turned soft/Doin' telephone commercials, I seen ya/dancing in tights as a ballerina/I knew all along you had those tendencies/cause you been running from Macho like I got a disease/Dude, please, your PPV event was a joke/you're avoiding Randy Savage cause ya know you'll get smoked.
This is as hardcore as the CD gets and that's why I like it. Maybe, someone should give Savage some credit for not cursing, talking about shootouts, bling bling and big booty hoes shaking their tail feather. Yes, I laughed at some of the raps, but I actually enjoyed this CD. It was a lot of fun and it didn't have to pair Ja Rule or Fat Joe with R&B Chick A, to be that way.
None of the songs will make the top 10, but Savage does a good job of introducing hip hop to what is considered a redneck wrestling culture. Any wrestling fan should have this CD. We know some of you still have the Vanilla Ice CD and Shaq Fu; Randy Savage's Be A Man is nothing to be ashamed of. Dig It?
By: Badseed
Of all the wrestlers, Ron Killings, BG James and John Cena, who are trying to bring the hip hop genre to wrestling, who would have thought that an old school wrestling star, like the Macho Man Randy Savage, would garner mainstream hip hop/wrestling attention with his very first rap CD, Be A Man. Go figure?
Yes, I couldn't believe Savage would come out with a rap CD; maybe rock, but not rap. I thought it was a joke as many people did, but it was true; it came out in early October and commercials and interviews popped up everywhere pushing this CD. I had to check it out for myself.
Be a Man is not the greatest rap CD. You cannot compare this CD to Eminem's work; Jay-Z's last CD or 50 Cent, but as far as rap goes, this is not a horrible CD by any means. For a wrestler who we never even knew liked rap and probably didn't, this CD is certainly worth a listen. Shaquille O'Neal can make basketball related CD's (and only his first was any good), why can't a wrestler put out a CD of rap with a wrestling feel.
I'm the wrestling king/but now I'm spitting lyrics/took it right from the ring/cause I wanted you to hear this. (I'm Back)
Basically, Be a Man is a lot of fun. I started getting used to the delivery and actually love the fact that he raps in his wrestling voice. It works and the fact that there was some great production, nice beats, decent hooks performed by Savage's backup group, the Rascals, and smart references to other artists like Q-Tip, Be A Man is not a joke. It doesn't hurt that a lot of the songs are catchy.
R U Ready/Are you all ready for this/cause if you are/Pump your fist like this/R U Ready/Keep it going on and on/We're gonna rock it baby all night long..
Savage even has the guest of guests, DJ Kool, who is often underrated. This guy gave us Let Me Clear My Throat and now he is banging with Savage on Hit the Floor and is as good as ever in getting people jacked and pumped by just his style alone.
Remember Me features Savage rapping more mellow and it comes off nice with a great hook by the ladies. I love when the ladies sing the hook. How could you forget about me/forget all about me/Remember me/I'm the same ol' Macho that I used to be/Still the reigning king/so remember me. The girls do their thing again on Macho Thang, another entertaining song.
Be a Man also features two rock/rap songs like Tear it Up and Feel the Madness. I liked the rock sound and there are even some tender moments like the love song, What's That All About and the emotional track, My Perfect Friend featuring the R&B sounds of Prymary Colorz. This is a nice song with some tender words for the late, great Mr. Perfect Curt Henning.
Mr. Perfect's the name that will never be forgotten/As long as Macho's around, I'mma keep your spot in wrestling history/Cause you were all about perfection/you were one of the best, very high on my list/Not just in the ring, but out of the ring, you're dearly missed. A lot has to do with the delivery and whether you like it or not, you can tell it came from the heart.
Of course, who can forget about the title track, Be A Man where Savage tries to punk out Hulk Hogan. Hot diggity damn (I love that part)/Hulk you set it off/used to be hard, Hulk/Now you done turned soft/Doin' telephone commercials, I seen ya/dancing in tights as a ballerina/I knew all along you had those tendencies/cause you been running from Macho like I got a disease/Dude, please, your PPV event was a joke/you're avoiding Randy Savage cause ya know you'll get smoked.
This is as hardcore as the CD gets and that's why I like it. Maybe, someone should give Savage some credit for not cursing, talking about shootouts, bling bling and big booty hoes shaking their tail feather. Yes, I laughed at some of the raps, but I actually enjoyed this CD. It was a lot of fun and it didn't have to pair Ja Rule or Fat Joe with R&B Chick A, to be that way.
None of the songs will make the top 10, but Savage does a good job of introducing hip hop to what is considered a redneck wrestling culture. Any wrestling fan should have this CD. We know some of you still have the Vanilla Ice CD and Shaq Fu; Randy Savage's Be A Man is nothing to be ashamed of. Dig It?
Monday, October 11, 2004
Bush & Kerry: The Debates
Kerry: The President has failed in Iraq.
Bush: Well, his wife is a bitch!
So far we've had 2 Presidential debates, and all I've learned from them is that John Kerry loves to smile, and George Bush gets pissed when Kerry smiles. Also, I've come to realize that repetition is very annoying!
Kerry: The President fucked up this, and he fucked up that! We need to be popular in Europe because then we'll be the "cool kid in class" again! I LOVE THE UN! They serve no purpose, but they're just so damn cute! I served in Vietnam! But I also protested Vietnam! I've done it all!
Bush: My opponent doesn't understand that the war on terror is hard work... It's tough... It's not easy... It's difficult... Did I mention that the war on terror is hard work?!
Both of ya, just shut the hell up!
Kerry: ...and that's why when I'm President, everyone will get candy.
John Kerry promises to bring world peace, and save the rain forest in the first 6 months of his Presidency. If he promises anymore to the country, I'll never have to work again! Plus, 4 months in Vietnam 30 years ago doesn't erase twiddling your thumbs in congress for 20 years, and qualify you for the Presidency.
President Bush shows us three different ways to say "You cocksuckin' motherfucker!" with body language
President Bush acts like if you question his decisions, you're some kind of asshole. Of course, stuttering at the debates doesn't help either. Maybe he should start using coke again. And, looking across the stage like John Kerry just pissed in the punchbowl, is also a striking character flaw in my book.
(Through clenched teeth) Kerry: It's almost over, bitch.
Bush: Keep smilin', fuckhead.
Either way you slice it, they both suck balls!
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Mr. Eminem's Opus
"Yo, yo, yo! FUCK Pee-wee, boyeeeeeeee!!!"
Recently Eminem debuted his video for "Just Lose It", the first single off his new album Encore (in stores November 16th). The video contains footage of Eminem dressed liked many pop icons and celebrities including MC Hammer, Madonna, Pee Wee Herman, the Will Farrell character in "Old School" and the disgruntled Santa Claus character from "Bad Santa" and of course, Michael Jackson, which has caused some fans of those artists & celebrities to get upset.
SilverSurfer9090: First of all, Eminem does this on every single album, so there is no controversy here, in my mind. And secondly, if you're Pee-wee Herman, MC Hammer, or Michael Jackson, you should be happy anyone even still cares about you!
Steve Urkel: Did I Do That?
Shocking NEWS out of Chicago Tonight.
After several years of marriage, and a seemingly picture perfect relationship, tragedy has struck the Urkel and Winslow families, respectively.
At 2:45 a.m. police responded to a frantic 911 call. Laura Urkel told the emergency operator that her husband, Steve Urkel, was high on cocaine and becoming unusually violent. At that time the call was cut-off. When officers arrived on the scene a few moments later, they found the body of Laura Urkel, lying on the bedroom floor with a pair of suspenders wrapped around her neck, and a pocket protector stuffed in her mouth. Found inside the hallway closet, on the floor clutching a bowling pin and a tube of KY jelly, was Mr. Urkel.
Urkel says, "I loved Laura! I couldn't have killed her!"
Mr. Urkel was arrested on the spot and taken into police custody. Once downtown, he began to tell the entire story, and how everything went totally wrong.
Steve had been partying a lot more since getting his new job at Apple. He was hanging with a new group of friends, and getting into some bad things.
"We would snort a few lines and then put together new motherboards! I'm talkin' about some wild shit!" Steve told police during their interview.
When Steve got home that night, Laura noticed some lipstick on his glasses. He tried to hide the truth, but Laura said she was going to her parent's house. Urkel then lost his mind, and strangled his wife to death.
"I loved her! I loved her! I loved her...Oh god, I loved that bitch!" Urkel stated through his tears, as he was led to his holding cell.
After several years of marriage, and a seemingly picture perfect relationship, tragedy has struck the Urkel and Winslow families, respectively.
At 2:45 a.m. police responded to a frantic 911 call. Laura Urkel told the emergency operator that her husband, Steve Urkel, was high on cocaine and becoming unusually violent. At that time the call was cut-off. When officers arrived on the scene a few moments later, they found the body of Laura Urkel, lying on the bedroom floor with a pair of suspenders wrapped around her neck, and a pocket protector stuffed in her mouth. Found inside the hallway closet, on the floor clutching a bowling pin and a tube of KY jelly, was Mr. Urkel.
Urkel says, "I loved Laura! I couldn't have killed her!"
Mr. Urkel was arrested on the spot and taken into police custody. Once downtown, he began to tell the entire story, and how everything went totally wrong.
Steve had been partying a lot more since getting his new job at Apple. He was hanging with a new group of friends, and getting into some bad things.
"We would snort a few lines and then put together new motherboards! I'm talkin' about some wild shit!" Steve told police during their interview.
When Steve got home that night, Laura noticed some lipstick on his glasses. He tried to hide the truth, but Laura said she was going to her parent's house. Urkel then lost his mind, and strangled his wife to death.
"I loved her! I loved her! I loved her...Oh god, I loved that bitch!" Urkel stated through his tears, as he was led to his holding cell.
Saturday, October 9, 2004
ALF: Court Case Timeline
ALF Case: A Chronology
UPDATED: 4:51 p.m. EDT May 11, 2004
A brief chronology of events in the sexual assault case against former TV star ALF:
June 30, 2003: ALF, 34, arrives at a resort near Vail, Colo., for knee surgery.
July 1, 2003: A 19-year-old woman who worked at the front desk of the resort tells Eagle County, Colo., authorities that she was sexually assaulted by ALF the previous night.
July 4, 2003: Eagle County sheriff issues arrest warrant for ALF, now back in Southern California. ALF returns to Eagle County and turns himself in. He is released after posting $25,000 bond.
"Shaq does this kind of thing all the time!"
July 11, 2003: Eagle County authorities release booking photo of ALF (above), which had been requested by the media since the arrest was made public.
July 18, 2003: Hurlbert charges ALF with one count of felony sexual assault. If convicted, ALF faces four years to life in prison. As the charges are announced, ALF releases a statement saying he committed adultery but adds, "Nothing that happened June 30th was against the will of the woman who now falsely accuses me."
Oct. 20, 2003: At the close of the preliminary hearing, Eagle County Judge Frederick Gannett orders ALF to stand trial on sexual assault charges. During the contentious hearing, much of the evidence from both sides goes public. The prosecution puts an investigator on the stand who describes the accuser's story. According to the investigator, the woman described a consensual sexual encounter that spiraled out of control. According to testimony, the woman told investigators ALF asked to see a tattoo on her back and then grabbed her by the neck from behind and raped her despite repeated protests.
The defense counters by questioning the accuser's sexual history, and lead defense attorney Pamela Mackey asks a witness if the woman's injures were "consistent with a person who had sex with three different men in three days." Later, the defense team says tests on the accuser's underpants found "other substances" from a "source" other than the TV star. The lawyers argue that injuries to the woman may have been caused by previous sexual partners.
March 11, 2004: Without comment, the Colorado Supreme Court denies an appeal from the prosecution to bar the defense from asking detailed questions about the accuser's sexual history. The ruling is a huge victory for the defense, which will strive to prove its case that the woman had a "scheme" to sleep with the TV star and that she had sex with a different partner less than 15 hours after the alleged sexual assault. The prosecution sought to bar the questioning, citing the state's 30-year-old rape-shield law, and said the decision could make future victims hesitant to report being attacked for fear of "similar humiliation."
April 21, 2004: Judge Terry Ruckriegle rules the accuser's medical records inadmissible, dealing a blow to the defense hopes to undermine the woman's credibility. Ruckriegle says no witness during three hearings had convinced him that the woman had waived her confidentiality rights by telling others about her medical conditions and treatment.
The judge acknowledges the woman had discussed her conditions and treatment in general terms with friends and relatives, but says he believed it was clear she had no intent to waive confidentiality.
May 11, 2004: ALF pleads not guilty to the charge of felony sexual assault. District Judge Terry Ruckriegle then adjourned the hearing, saying he expected to set a trial date at a May 27 hearing. Cameras were allowed into the courtroom during the plea hearing.
UPDATE: All charges were dropped against ALF in the criminal case, however the civil proceedings are still pending.
UPDATED: 4:51 p.m. EDT May 11, 2004
A brief chronology of events in the sexual assault case against former TV star ALF:
June 30, 2003: ALF, 34, arrives at a resort near Vail, Colo., for knee surgery.
July 1, 2003: A 19-year-old woman who worked at the front desk of the resort tells Eagle County, Colo., authorities that she was sexually assaulted by ALF the previous night.
July 4, 2003: Eagle County sheriff issues arrest warrant for ALF, now back in Southern California. ALF returns to Eagle County and turns himself in. He is released after posting $25,000 bond.
"Shaq does this kind of thing all the time!"
July 11, 2003: Eagle County authorities release booking photo of ALF (above), which had been requested by the media since the arrest was made public.
July 18, 2003: Hurlbert charges ALF with one count of felony sexual assault. If convicted, ALF faces four years to life in prison. As the charges are announced, ALF releases a statement saying he committed adultery but adds, "Nothing that happened June 30th was against the will of the woman who now falsely accuses me."
Oct. 20, 2003: At the close of the preliminary hearing, Eagle County Judge Frederick Gannett orders ALF to stand trial on sexual assault charges. During the contentious hearing, much of the evidence from both sides goes public. The prosecution puts an investigator on the stand who describes the accuser's story. According to the investigator, the woman described a consensual sexual encounter that spiraled out of control. According to testimony, the woman told investigators ALF asked to see a tattoo on her back and then grabbed her by the neck from behind and raped her despite repeated protests.
The defense counters by questioning the accuser's sexual history, and lead defense attorney Pamela Mackey asks a witness if the woman's injures were "consistent with a person who had sex with three different men in three days." Later, the defense team says tests on the accuser's underpants found "other substances" from a "source" other than the TV star. The lawyers argue that injuries to the woman may have been caused by previous sexual partners.
March 11, 2004: Without comment, the Colorado Supreme Court denies an appeal from the prosecution to bar the defense from asking detailed questions about the accuser's sexual history. The ruling is a huge victory for the defense, which will strive to prove its case that the woman had a "scheme" to sleep with the TV star and that she had sex with a different partner less than 15 hours after the alleged sexual assault. The prosecution sought to bar the questioning, citing the state's 30-year-old rape-shield law, and said the decision could make future victims hesitant to report being attacked for fear of "similar humiliation."
April 21, 2004: Judge Terry Ruckriegle rules the accuser's medical records inadmissible, dealing a blow to the defense hopes to undermine the woman's credibility. Ruckriegle says no witness during three hearings had convinced him that the woman had waived her confidentiality rights by telling others about her medical conditions and treatment.
The judge acknowledges the woman had discussed her conditions and treatment in general terms with friends and relatives, but says he believed it was clear she had no intent to waive confidentiality.
May 11, 2004: ALF pleads not guilty to the charge of felony sexual assault. District Judge Terry Ruckriegle then adjourned the hearing, saying he expected to set a trial date at a May 27 hearing. Cameras were allowed into the courtroom during the plea hearing.
UPDATE: All charges were dropped against ALF in the criminal case, however the civil proceedings are still pending.
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Spank Me, Mr. Rogers
Meet Robert Clark. The 61-year-old pervert was charged with spanking and kissing eight boys enrolled in the not-for-profit Pennsylvania video workshop he ran. According to the Upper Moreland Police Department affidavit (in which the cops have redacted the kids' names), the retired teacher was a serial spanker who preyed on children as young as nine, often giving them whacks across their behinds as a sick birthday gift. Clark, pictured in a police mug shot, is being held in lieu of $100,000 bail. He has also been ordered to stay away from all children he is not related to.
UPDATE: A Pennsylvania judge last week signed an order granting Clark's motion to dismiss a 48-count indictment filed against him last year. Judge Lawrence A. Brown concluded that Clark's spanking ritual was "foolish," but not "criminal." Montgomery County prosecutors are deciding whether to appeal Brown's ruling.
SilverSurfer9090: That guy reminds me of my neighbor. When I was a kid he used to show me magic tricks. For some reason, the tricks only worked when I took off my clothes. Of course, when I got older I realized that my neighbor was molesting me. I told him about it, and we stared at each other for a moment...Then we laughed our heads off!(Sighs)Oh, those were the days!
Tuesday, October 5, 2004
How To Make A Fat Person
"Marty's Dad raped him every Tuesday, so Marty turned to food for comfort."
Causes of Childhood Obesity:
The Family Breeders of lard
The risk of becoming obese is greatest among children who have two obese parents (Dietz, 1983). This may be due to powerful genetic factors or to parental modeling of both eating and exercise behaviors, indirectly affecting the child's energy balance. One half of parents of elementary school children never exercise vigorously (Ross & Pate, 1987).
Low-energy Expenditure Marty got pissed when his Mom turned off MacGyver
The average American child spends several hours each day watching television; time which in previous years might have been devoted to physical pursuits. Obesity is greater among children and adolescents who frequently watch television (Dietz & Gortmaker, 1985)
HeredityThe damned breeders again!
Since not all children who eat non-nutritious foods, watch several hours of television daily, and are relatively inactive develop obesity, the search continues for alternative causes. Heredity has recently been shown to influence fatness.
Treatment of Childhood ObesityLearning to beat your child
Obesity treatment programs for children and adolescents rarely have weight loss as a goal. Rather, the aim is to slow or halt weight gain so the child will grow into his or her body weight over a period of months to years. Dietz (1983) estimates that for every 20 percent excess of ideal body weight, the child will need one and one-half years of weight maintenance to attain ideal body weight.
Diet Management Putting a muzzle on your obese child
Fasting or extreme caloric restriction is not advisable for children. Not only is this approach psychologically stressful, but it may adversely affect growth and the child's perception of "normal" eating. Balanced diets with moderate caloric restriction, especially reduced dietary fat, have been used successfully in treating obesity (Dietz, 1983).
Behavior Modification Electro-shock therapy is making a comeback
Many behavioral strategies used with adults have been successfully applied to children and adolescents: self-monitoring and recording food intake and physical activity, slowing the rate of eating, limiting the time and place of eating, and using rewards and incentives for desirable behaviors. Particularly effective are behaviorally based treatments that include parents (Epstein et al., 1987).
Prevention of Childhood ObesityKnowing when to beat your child
Obesity is easier to prevent than to treat, and prevention focuses in large measure on parent education. In infancy, parent education should center on promotion of breastfeeding, recognition of signals of satiety, and delayed introduction of solid foods. In early childhood, education should include proper nutrition, selection of low-fat snacks, good exercise/activity habits, and monitoring of television viewing. In cases where preventive measures cannot totally overcome the influence of hereditary factors, parent education should focus on building self-esteem and address psychological issues.
"Eventually, Marty realized his dream of becoming a loser."
SilverSurfer9090: It's so sad! Poor fat kids! Why doesn't someone help them, and tell them how ugly they are every single day until they correct it, or collapse under the pressure?! These fat kids need a true friend to stand up and punch them in the third chin!
He-Man Returning to the Big Screen
"I have the powerrrr!"
Woo puts He-Man back on big screen
Action figure and cartoon hero He-Man is returning to the big screen in a new movie.
Variety reports that 'Face/Off' helmer John Woo will direct and produce the live-action film.
Dolph Lundgren previously starred in a 1987 He-Man spin-off called 'Masters of the Universe' that also marked one of the early movie appearances of 'Friends' star Courteney Cox.
Woo is also set to direct wrestling legend Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson in an adaptation of the classic video game 'Spy Hunter'.
SilverSurfer9090: Hopefully this piece of shit, won't be as big of a piece of shit as the last He-Man movie!...Uh, yeah! I said it right. And, what happened to John Woo? First, Paycheck with Ben Affleck(cringes at the thought of it), and now this?!Who knows, maybe he'll prove us wrong. I hope he proves me wrong.
Monday, October 4, 2004
Star Wars-Episode VII: Attack of the Fanboys
Fans have eagerly awaited the first three "Star Wars" films on DVD, a release Lucas initially intended to delay until he finished "Episode III."
Some will be miffed that the original theatrical versions are not included in the "Star Wars" boxed set, which features only the special-edition versions Lucas issued in the late 1990s, with added effects and footage, including a scene between Harrison Ford's Han Solo and crime lord Jabba the Hutt in the first "Star Wars."
AP: Why did you change your mind and decide to put the original three movies out on DVD now?
Lucas: Just because the market has shifted so dramatically. A lot of people are getting very worried about piracy. That has really eaten dramatically into the sales. It really just came down to, there may not be a market when I wanted to bring it out, which was like, three years from now. So rather than just sit by and watch the whole thing fall apart, better to bring it out early and get it over with.
AP: Why did you rework the original trilogy into the special-edition versions in the late 1990s?
Lucas: To me, the special edition ones are the films I wanted to make. Anybody that makes films knows the film is never finished. It's abandoned or it's ripped out of your hands, and it's thrown into the marketplace, never finished. It's a very rare experience where you find a filmmaker who says, "That's exactly what I wanted. I got everything I needed. I made it just perfect. I'm going to put it out there." And even most artists, most painters, even composers would want to come back and redo their work now. They've got a new perspective on it, they've got more resources, they have better technology, and they can fix or finish the things that were never done. ... I wanted to actually finish the film the way it was meant to be when I was originally doing it. At the beginning, people went, "Don't you like it?" I said, "Well, the film only came out to be 25 or 30 percent of what I wanted it to be." They said, "What are you talking about?" So finally, I stopped saying that, b! ut if you read any interviews for about an eight- or nine-year period there, it was all about how disappointed I was and how unhappy I was and what a dismal experience it was. You know, it's too bad you need to get kind of half a job done and never get to finish it. So this was my chance to finish it.
Fanboy says,"What the FUCK you lookin' at?!"
AP: Why not release both the originals and special editions on DVD?
Lucas: The special edition, that's the one I wanted out there. The other movie, it's on VHS, if anybody wants it. ... I'm not going to spend the, we're talking millions of dollars here, the money and the time to refurbish that, because to me, it doesn't really exist anymore. It's like this is the movie I wanted it to be, and I'm sorry you saw half a completed film and fell in love with it. But I want it to be the way I want it to be. I'm the one who has to take responsibility for it. I'm the one who has to have everybody throw rocks at me all the time, so at least if they're going to throw rocks at me, they're going to throw rocks at me for something I love rather than something I think is not very good, or at least something I think is not finished.
AP: Do you pay much attention to fan reactions to your choices?
Lucas: Not really. The movies are what the movies are. ... The thing about science-fiction fans and "Star Wars" fans is they're very independent-thinking people. They all think outside the box, but they all have very strong ideas about what should happen, and they think it should be their way. Which is fine, except I'm making the movies, so I should have it my way.
AP: After "Episode III," will you ever revisit "Star Wars"?
Lucas: Ultimately, I'm going to probably move it into television and let other people take it. I'm sort of preserving the feature film part for what has happened and never go there again, but I can go off into various offshoots and things. You know, I've got offshoot novels, I've got offshoot comics. So it's very easy to say, "Well, OK, that's that genre, and I'll find a really talented person to take it and create it." Just like the comic books and the novels are somebody else's way of doing it. I don't mind that. Some of it might turn out to be pretty good. If I get the right people involved, it could be interesting.
P.S.
Translation:
George Lucas says, "Fuck YOU, Fanboy!"
Mid-Life Crisis?
Are you a 45 year-old Dentist with a poneytail, and a motorcylce?
Do you have a 22 year-old girlfriend, who is slowly fucking you to DEATH?
Hmm. You might be going through something known as a "Mid-Life Crisis".
Mid-Life Crisis
The effects of women's menopause are well known. Yet men often experience a major transition at mid-life as well. Questioning one's life can be disturbing, leading to major job changes or divorce. But mid-life crisis can also be a time for healthy changes that lead to a fulfilling middle and older age.
Symptoms
During his 40's, if a man or women has been hard-working, the fruits of their labors-a home and family, material possessions-will probably surround them. Then, before anything dramatic happens, small nagging doubts may appear, perhaps followed by a series of dramatic, apparently irrational events leading up to great change. During it all, men and women ask themselves questions such as: Is this all there is? Am I a failure? Symptoms and behaviors during mid-life crisis can range from mild to severe, including:
"I once scored four touchdowns in a single High School football game."
*boredom and exhaustion, or frantic energy
*self-questioning
*daydreaming
*irritability, unexpected anger
*acting on alcohol, drug, food, or other compulsions
*greatly decreased or increased sexual desire
*sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger
*greatly decreased or increased ambition.
(These symptons also apply to the condition I like to call the "Stoner Emotional Rollercoaster")
SilverSurfer9090: Pssh, fuckin' losers!
::25 years later, SilverSurfer9090 shoots himself in an empty bathtub, in his Mother's backyard::
Do you have a 22 year-old girlfriend, who is slowly fucking you to DEATH?
Hmm. You might be going through something known as a "Mid-Life Crisis".
Mid-Life Crisis
The effects of women's menopause are well known. Yet men often experience a major transition at mid-life as well. Questioning one's life can be disturbing, leading to major job changes or divorce. But mid-life crisis can also be a time for healthy changes that lead to a fulfilling middle and older age.
Symptoms
During his 40's, if a man or women has been hard-working, the fruits of their labors-a home and family, material possessions-will probably surround them. Then, before anything dramatic happens, small nagging doubts may appear, perhaps followed by a series of dramatic, apparently irrational events leading up to great change. During it all, men and women ask themselves questions such as: Is this all there is? Am I a failure? Symptoms and behaviors during mid-life crisis can range from mild to severe, including:
"I once scored four touchdowns in a single High School football game."
*boredom and exhaustion, or frantic energy
*self-questioning
*daydreaming
*irritability, unexpected anger
*acting on alcohol, drug, food, or other compulsions
*greatly decreased or increased sexual desire
*sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger
*greatly decreased or increased ambition.
(These symptons also apply to the condition I like to call the "Stoner Emotional Rollercoaster")
SilverSurfer9090: Pssh, fuckin' losers!
::25 years later, SilverSurfer9090 shoots himself in an empty bathtub, in his Mother's backyard::
Sunday, October 3, 2004
Pee-wee's Playhouse
Hey, folks! Pee-wee Herman is back, and better than ever! Forget what you might have read in the papers, or seen on the internet. Sure, there's been some more charges involving so-called "kiddie porn", but what exactly does that mean anyway, right?
So, today we announce with great excitement, the new joint business venture of Pee-wee Herman, and Marilyn Manson. Pee-wee's Playhouse and Museum of Erotic Art! For years, Pee-wee has claimed that his "kiddie porn" collection is harmless erotic artwork. Now, he can prove it!
"Want to play in my clubhouse? Haw huh ha ha!"
At Pee-wee's Playhouse and Museum of Erotic Art we not only display child pornography for the viewing pleasure of the entire family unit, we also create it! That's right, folks! You get to join the fun, as our staff of costume designers and professional photographers help you create your own "works of art"! Just don't tell the police!
And for the art lover who can't afford that expensive and hard-to-find babysitter, we have Pee-wee's Play Area, where the tots get to play with our very own Pee-wee impersonator. Our Pee-wee wannabe is also skilled in the art of sensual massage, so the children are relaxed and rested when they're returned to their folks!
So, come on down, and rediscover the magic of Pee-wee Herman!
Disclaimer: The magic of Pee-wee Herman is illegal in 13 states, and may not wash out of all fabrics.
So, today we announce with great excitement, the new joint business venture of Pee-wee Herman, and Marilyn Manson. Pee-wee's Playhouse and Museum of Erotic Art! For years, Pee-wee has claimed that his "kiddie porn" collection is harmless erotic artwork. Now, he can prove it!
"Want to play in my clubhouse? Haw huh ha ha!"
At Pee-wee's Playhouse and Museum of Erotic Art we not only display child pornography for the viewing pleasure of the entire family unit, we also create it! That's right, folks! You get to join the fun, as our staff of costume designers and professional photographers help you create your own "works of art"! Just don't tell the police!
And for the art lover who can't afford that expensive and hard-to-find babysitter, we have Pee-wee's Play Area, where the tots get to play with our very own Pee-wee impersonator. Our Pee-wee wannabe is also skilled in the art of sensual massage, so the children are relaxed and rested when they're returned to their folks!
So, come on down, and rediscover the magic of Pee-wee Herman!
Disclaimer: The magic of Pee-wee Herman is illegal in 13 states, and may not wash out of all fabrics.
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