I recently got married to a wonderful woman. Since our wedding date I have still not met all my new relatives. Lately, my wife's sister came into town with her family. This was a landmark meeting, since her sister was only able to come alone to the wedding, and I hadn't met any of the rest of them. When they arrived, we exchanged greetings and hugs. Then all the women took a trip to the mall together. I was designated with watching her youngest nephew, Sam. I think he's about 8 years old, I'm not exactly sure. He was coloring in the living room in front of the television. I asked him to pass the remote, but he just kept coloring. I spoke up a little louder, but still he was ignoring me. At this point, I was getting a little angry. I yelled "Hey, retard!" and still I got no response. I got off the couch and put my face in his. He looked at me like he was scared. "What's your deal, kid?" I said in a hard tone. He made a weird grunt of a sound. That's when I realized.... he was a deaf mute. I felt horrible at this point, and left the room. It took a few minutes, but I found a way to reach the child on his level. I wrote different commands on tennis balls, and whenever I needed something, I would just strike him in the back of the head with a fastball. I want to change the channel, so let me get my "change channel" ball, and interact with my new nephew. :::strikes deaf mute in skull::: I think I'm becoming Sam's favorite new uncle.
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