I finally got my new elevator shoe for my left foot! Now I can walk down the street, and I don't have to walk on the curb! Plus, I can keep my balance while I'm mounting my 600 lb. mute girlfriend. Which is awesome, my blind cousin is her new roommate, and we play this secret game with him, where we'll have sex in the house right in front of him, and the only thing that he thinks is going on is that we're... cooking some pig's feet! What can I say, his sense of smell is pretty damn good, and now so is my balance! No more putting three phonebooks under my left foot while I'm serving it up to my "silent sex cow"! :::does the moonwalk out of the shoe store:::
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