Thursday, August 12, 2004

My REDBOOK Horoscope

SCORPIO

October23-November23



Romantic Venus stays in your house of sex until the 7th, inspiring you with tender love moves. Innovative Mercury fills you with ideas to keep the kids busy, while the ambitious Sun urges you to spearhead a neighborhood charity drive.



Hmm...let me get my Redbook to English Dictionary. First of all, I could only dream of having a "house of sex", and secondly, my wife would probably not appreciate "Romantic Venus" staying there. As for "Innovative Mercury", I would not consider this person a friend, since he is encouraging me to "keep the kids busy" and I have no kids to speak of. Whose kids? The neighbor's kids? And the only way I could keep them busy would cause me to have to register as a convicted sex offender. Lastly, I'm too lazy to do charity, let alone spearhead any charity! I think this horoscope is either wrong, or some kids will stay in my house of sex and I'll have to spearhead a charity to raise money for their therapy.

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