I'm back. Why the absence? Well, I've taken a writing job on the website www.411mania.com. I'm in the movie sections under the name Ashton Lovecraft. But because Norrin is my bestest friend in the whole widest world, I'm going to still come here and be unfunny occasionally.
Today's topic is about one of the biggest mass exploitations of children, one of the worst programs running...
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Winnie the Pooh.
That's right, Winnie the Pooh is EVIL, and I'm going to tell you why.
See, Winnie the Pooh? He's homosexual. It's obvious. He has an "ie" ending on his name, which is a feminem ending, as opposed to the "y" ending, which is masculine. Plus he just looks gay. Look at him for 5 seconds and tell me that he's ever thought about humping another teddy bear like creature. I dare you. Not to mention that he's always got his hand dipped in a jar of honey. He wants to rub it all over a penis and slowly lick it off, savoring the taste.
But Winnie the Pooh isn't the only bad part of the show. The shows demonstrates and supports several other dangerous alternative lifestyles. Allow me to demonstrate.
Eeyore... He's manic depressive. Seriously, look at the guy. He's a big, blue donkey... and he's always sad. ALWAYS. The blue skin is a metaphor for that he's always blue, as in depressed. Is it really safe to teach kids that always feeling bad is cute and an acceptable way to live life? I don't think so. This is corrupting kids at a very young and impressionable age, and the teen suicide rate is steadily climbing at a direct result. We must stop this madness NOW.
Tigger... He's a crack head. He's constantly bouncing around, and constantly blabbering in a near to incoherent speech. He's teaching our kids that illegal substances are okay to put into the body. He exemplifies what is wrong with our world today... he glorifies the abuse of mind and body altering substances that should be ingested in no form at any time in a lifetime. Showing this to kids will do nothing but increase the crime rate, as more drugs will be bought, meaning more drug wars will be fought. Do you want your 5 year old to grow up to be a dealer?
Rabbit... He's obsessive compulsive. He twitches constantly and is always running around and double-triple-quadruple checking things. It's sad to watch the decay of a character like that, and it's glorifying that type of behavior to our kids. How many children are going to grow up and become victims of OCD just because they remember that one of their favorite cartoons acted that way? I'll tell you right now, it's not okay for a child to become just like a cartoon character, especially one with such a serious mental disorder as Rabbit.
Owl... He's an arrogant aristocrat. He believes that he's smarter than everyone else, and therefore better than everyone else. He's quick to remind you that he's smarter than you, and therefore you should obey him. Do we want our kids to learn to treat each other equally, or do we want them to learn to fear people that may be better than us in some ways? Sounds like a pretty shitty lifestyle to live, if you ask me. I, for one, refuse to let my kids believe that they're inferior to ANYONE. Why should they have to respect someone who places themself on such a higher level than them? It's not about whether or not someone's better than you... it's about whether or not they try to dictate you because they're better than you. Do you want your kids to be working the 9 to 5 shift at Walmart just because they never learned to stand up for their own rights?
Gopher... He's full of paranoid delusions. He constantly digs holes and tunnels in 100 Aker Woods, and acts much like a disgruntled WWII veteran. He's always speaking of different conspiracies that are obviously aimed at him or anyone he knows, and he's always grumpy about it. This behavior should be far from supported, because it shows the kind of life people can be put into after a traumatic event. While it's important for kids to understand about death and war in the world, it's NOT necessary to expose them at such an early age to the horrible behavioral and mental changes these events can cause to a person's life.
Kanga and Roo... These two character exemplify the relationships mothers have with children these days. Roo was the younger one, always hanging out with Tigger. This is obviously a bad sign, seeing that Tigger is a crack head. Kanga is shown to be extremely motherly and lets Roo hang out with Tigger, which is a bad sign. It supports the idea that mothers should allow their kids to run rampant and do whatever they want with no consequences imposed by the parents. By allowing Roo to hang out with an obvious drug dealer and abuser, she's telling parents of the world that it's okay for kids to experiment with different substances and hanging out with anyone they want, and that they should never be punished for such behavior.
Piglet... He's anal retentive. He exemplifies yet another problem with raising kids: he's afraid of everything. He teaches kids that it's okay to fear change and to fear challenges in life, and that they should all run away from these things and expect other people to solve the problems for them, as opposed to standing up for themselves and learning how to deal with life on their own. Without facing your own challenges, it makes it near to impossible to live a normal life out of childhood, and leads to much disrespect and being made fun of in later years. Also, it's hard to get a girlfriend when someone is afraid of as simple of a word as "no," which could also lead to a lack of being able to get a job of any type. There's just no way to succeed in life following the lesson that Piglet displays.
With all of the above arguments, you really have to think... is Winnie the Pooh something you want your kids to watch? Any single one of these personalities forming in a young child's mind is bad enough, much less any or all of them combining into one giant personality. Are any of these personalities something you actually wish upon your child?
What I'm calling for is for someone to think of the children, and stop showing Winnie the Pooh to our kids.
Thank you.
-LZ
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