This is my first attempt. I hope it was successful.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Inspirational School Posters: Cheating
Hey gang! I was thinking about those posters that used to hang on the classroom walls in grade school. They were usually of athletes, or giant sweeping landscapes, and they always had quotes of wisdom or words of inspiration. So, I thought I might make some of my own, for all the kids out there in the "blogosphere"!
This is my first attempt. I hope it was successful.
This is my first attempt. I hope it was successful.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Puerto Rico: the 51st state?
I saw this article under the banner "common sense" and had to say something about how ridiculous it is.
Room for One More?
By Neil Cavuto
I was in Puerto Rico (search) at a business conference this past weekend and off-hand, one of the attendees mentioned how Puerto Rico is at a crossroads.
It's got to decide: Either become a state of this country, or a self-sustaining republic. Nothing in-between, which is kind of what this commonwealth (search) enjoys now — all the benefits of statehood, without the taxes.
But I started thinking that might be a lot easier said than done. For one thing, there's the issue of the star.
Let's say Puerto Rico becomes our 51st state. Where do we put that 51st star on our flag? Go ahead, figure that out.
Then there's the other issue of representation in Washington. With four million-plus residents, by my math, Puerto Rico would not only have the two obligatory senators — there goes you're nice, round 100 — but at least eight representatives in Congress (search). It would leapfrog right past states like Delaware, Rhode Island, North Dakota, South Dakota, and several others.
I imagine they might not be too pleased.
And could you imagine how residents of the District of Columbia would feel? They're already out in our national body, save a non-voting member. How would they feel about this island nation just coming into the Capitol, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’m?
Which raises the issue of those 10 extra seats: Do we physically have them in Congress, or would we squeeze everybody in for one of those State of the Union addresses? I've been there —ain't too much room to spare there. It’s sort of like my family reunions. Someone's going to have to sit at the kids' table. But who?!
I began thinking Puerto Rico might very well want to become a state. And I think they'd make a great state. The Puerto Ricans I talked to sure thought so. I'm just not sure everyone here would feel the same way.
So Puerto Rico, keep debating the battle for statehood there. It's nothing compared to the battle you'll likely face ... here.
Neil Cavuto is a fuckin' intellectual dink. Some guy mentioned Puerto Rico is at a crossroads, huh? They want to be a state, huh? Bullshit!
Puerto Rico doesn't want to be the 51st state. Puerto Rico didn't want to be a commonwealth, either. The fat grubby US government annexed the island just like Hawaii. So, you actually have the nerve to say that we need to decide what we want to do when we never wanted to be a part of this shit in the first place?! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!
You grabbed us up for no good reason, and you can continue to treat us like a state without us paying taxes. That's our reward for being sucked into your fat-ass red, white, and blue machine.
So quit your bitching Neil, we don't want your 51st star. And go eat another donut, bitch!
P.S.
Fuck Delaware, too.
Room for One More?
By Neil Cavuto
I was in Puerto Rico (search) at a business conference this past weekend and off-hand, one of the attendees mentioned how Puerto Rico is at a crossroads.
It's got to decide: Either become a state of this country, or a self-sustaining republic. Nothing in-between, which is kind of what this commonwealth (search) enjoys now — all the benefits of statehood, without the taxes.
But I started thinking that might be a lot easier said than done. For one thing, there's the issue of the star.
Let's say Puerto Rico becomes our 51st state. Where do we put that 51st star on our flag? Go ahead, figure that out.
Then there's the other issue of representation in Washington. With four million-plus residents, by my math, Puerto Rico would not only have the two obligatory senators — there goes you're nice, round 100 — but at least eight representatives in Congress (search). It would leapfrog right past states like Delaware, Rhode Island, North Dakota, South Dakota, and several others.
I imagine they might not be too pleased.
And could you imagine how residents of the District of Columbia would feel? They're already out in our national body, save a non-voting member. How would they feel about this island nation just coming into the Capitol, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’m?
Which raises the issue of those 10 extra seats: Do we physically have them in Congress, or would we squeeze everybody in for one of those State of the Union addresses? I've been there —ain't too much room to spare there. It’s sort of like my family reunions. Someone's going to have to sit at the kids' table. But who?!
I began thinking Puerto Rico might very well want to become a state. And I think they'd make a great state. The Puerto Ricans I talked to sure thought so. I'm just not sure everyone here would feel the same way.
So Puerto Rico, keep debating the battle for statehood there. It's nothing compared to the battle you'll likely face ... here.
Neil Cavuto is a fuckin' intellectual dink. Some guy mentioned Puerto Rico is at a crossroads, huh? They want to be a state, huh? Bullshit!
Puerto Rico doesn't want to be the 51st state. Puerto Rico didn't want to be a commonwealth, either. The fat grubby US government annexed the island just like Hawaii. So, you actually have the nerve to say that we need to decide what we want to do when we never wanted to be a part of this shit in the first place?! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!
You grabbed us up for no good reason, and you can continue to treat us like a state without us paying taxes. That's our reward for being sucked into your fat-ass red, white, and blue machine.
So quit your bitching Neil, we don't want your 51st star. And go eat another donut, bitch!
P.S.
Fuck Delaware, too.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Freak on a leash
Korn guitarist finds God, leaves band
NEW YORK (Billboard) -- Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch has parted ways with the hard rock act, citing a recent religious awakening.
Welch broke the news Sunday on Bakersfield, California, station KRAB-FM.
"I had it in my heart to come here and explain to you," Welch said. "I'm good friends with Korn. I love those guys, and they love me, and they're very happy for me."
Addressing the aggressive tone of the music he made with Korn, Welch said, "Anger is a good thing, and if kids want to listen to Korn, good, but there's happiness after the anger. I'm going to show it through my actions how much I love my fans."
Welch added that he would be appearing at a local church on February 27, during which time he would "speak (about) how I got to this place in my life, and I'll answer all your questions."
On its official Web site (http://www.korn.com), Korn's remaining members said they respect Welch's wishes and hope "he finds the happiness he is searching for." The group is in the studio working on a new album, due in September, which will be its first since fulfilling its contract with Epic last year.
For now, no replacement for Welch has been named, nor has a new label home for the band.
A few years ago I would've made fun of Head for his decision, but I can't hate on someone for finding God. It just sucks that he's leaving Korn. I love God, but he sure ruins good music, man!
Hey God, stop that shit! We're trying to rock-out here!
(a lightning bolt comes through the ceiling and strikes Norrin Radd at his computer)
NEW YORK (Billboard) -- Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch has parted ways with the hard rock act, citing a recent religious awakening.
Welch broke the news Sunday on Bakersfield, California, station KRAB-FM.
"I had it in my heart to come here and explain to you," Welch said. "I'm good friends with Korn. I love those guys, and they love me, and they're very happy for me."
Addressing the aggressive tone of the music he made with Korn, Welch said, "Anger is a good thing, and if kids want to listen to Korn, good, but there's happiness after the anger. I'm going to show it through my actions how much I love my fans."
Welch added that he would be appearing at a local church on February 27, during which time he would "speak (about) how I got to this place in my life, and I'll answer all your questions."
On its official Web site (http://www.korn.com), Korn's remaining members said they respect Welch's wishes and hope "he finds the happiness he is searching for." The group is in the studio working on a new album, due in September, which will be its first since fulfilling its contract with Epic last year.
For now, no replacement for Welch has been named, nor has a new label home for the band.
A few years ago I would've made fun of Head for his decision, but I can't hate on someone for finding God. It just sucks that he's leaving Korn. I love God, but he sure ruins good music, man!
Hey God, stop that shit! We're trying to rock-out here!
(a lightning bolt comes through the ceiling and strikes Norrin Radd at his computer)
Why are people jumping on Chris Rock?
I hate race issues (because they're boring, repetitive, and endless), but it seems like a simple race issue to me, in the case of all the alleged "Chris Rock Controversy". I even heard one news headline on TV, "Is Chris Rock Right For The Oscars?". Which, really sounds like,"Should A Black Man Being Hosting Our Show?".
I'll admit Chris Rock isn't Bill Cosby, but the Academy Awards knew that (the entire world knew that) before they chose him. So, if his comments bother them, they should just eat a dick because they asked for it.
I, personally, agree with Chris Rock on the "idiocy" of the awards in the last two decades. I don't attribute much power to an acting award that has been given to Julia Roberts, Renee Zellweiger, Russell Crowe, or Marissa Tomei.
I hope Chris Rock tells one of his jokes about "black people and niggas" in the first five minutes of the telecast. It will actually make for interesting television.
Chris Rock explains comments ... sort of
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Chris Rock wants to clarify what he meant when he said straight men don't watch the Oscars.
"I did not say that. I said only gay people watch the Tonys," he joked Monday during an appearance on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno."
But later he stuck to his guns.
"I really don't know any straight men who aren't in show business that have ever watched the Oscars," he said.
The Emmy-winning comedian has taken some heat for an Entertainment Weekly interview in which he called the notion of giving awards for art "idiotic" and added: "what straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars?"
But he offered Leno some toned-down criticism of Oscar hype.
"The awards don't really affect anybody's lives in the crowd," Rock said. "Meanwhile, the Nobel Peace Prize, there's no one there. Nobody cares what the scientists are wearing. What are you wearing Professor Allen? 'Pants!' "
Rock, asked if he was rooting for anyone to win, said he would favor Don Cheadle, who is up for best actor for his role in "Hotel Rwanda."
"I like it if the award will affect the person's life," Rock said. "If he wins, he's gonna get better scripts, he's gonna work with better directors."
And he had some advice for acceptance speeches.
"Don't thank God," Rock said. "God's busy working on the tsunami, so leave him alone."
I'll admit Chris Rock isn't Bill Cosby, but the Academy Awards knew that (the entire world knew that) before they chose him. So, if his comments bother them, they should just eat a dick because they asked for it.
I, personally, agree with Chris Rock on the "idiocy" of the awards in the last two decades. I don't attribute much power to an acting award that has been given to Julia Roberts, Renee Zellweiger, Russell Crowe, or Marissa Tomei.
I hope Chris Rock tells one of his jokes about "black people and niggas" in the first five minutes of the telecast. It will actually make for interesting television.
Chris Rock explains comments ... sort of
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Chris Rock wants to clarify what he meant when he said straight men don't watch the Oscars.
"I did not say that. I said only gay people watch the Tonys," he joked Monday during an appearance on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno."
But later he stuck to his guns.
"I really don't know any straight men who aren't in show business that have ever watched the Oscars," he said.
The Emmy-winning comedian has taken some heat for an Entertainment Weekly interview in which he called the notion of giving awards for art "idiotic" and added: "what straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars?"
But he offered Leno some toned-down criticism of Oscar hype.
"The awards don't really affect anybody's lives in the crowd," Rock said. "Meanwhile, the Nobel Peace Prize, there's no one there. Nobody cares what the scientists are wearing. What are you wearing Professor Allen? 'Pants!' "
Rock, asked if he was rooting for anyone to win, said he would favor Don Cheadle, who is up for best actor for his role in "Hotel Rwanda."
"I like it if the award will affect the person's life," Rock said. "If he wins, he's gonna get better scripts, he's gonna work with better directors."
And he had some advice for acceptance speeches.
"Don't thank God," Rock said. "God's busy working on the tsunami, so leave him alone."
Pope: will he rise to the ten count?
Pope John Paul II, who underwent a tracheotomy Thursday to relieve respiratory problems, is breathing on his own today without assistance from a ventilator, a papal spokesman said. The pope had a breakfast of coffee, yogurt and biscuits, Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.
Hmm... it seems to me the Pope is gonna die soon. I mean, he's already become a human potato over the past decade, and now they're poking holes in his decrepit spud.
Of course, I thought he was gonna die a few weeks earlier and he somehow was able to get more life sustaining energy out of his communion wafers.
I made a joke of his illness a while back, and I kind of just did again, but I wish the Pope well. But I don't see him making another recovery at this point. It will be interesting to get to see the process of choosing a new Pope(kind of like Haley's comet, not a common occurrence).
Soon the new Pope will be chosen. He'll be given the cool hat, the keys to the Pope-mobile, and he'll dash out the door to fight Satan in Adam West-fashion! It will definitely be different.
Hmm... it seems to me the Pope is gonna die soon. I mean, he's already become a human potato over the past decade, and now they're poking holes in his decrepit spud.
Of course, I thought he was gonna die a few weeks earlier and he somehow was able to get more life sustaining energy out of his communion wafers.
I made a joke of his illness a while back, and I kind of just did again, but I wish the Pope well. But I don't see him making another recovery at this point. It will be interesting to get to see the process of choosing a new Pope(kind of like Haley's comet, not a common occurrence).
Soon the new Pope will be chosen. He'll be given the cool hat, the keys to the Pope-mobile, and he'll dash out the door to fight Satan in Adam West-fashion! It will definitely be different.
Monday, February 21, 2005
RowanX2: Making us proud during Black History Month
For those who don't know, Rowan is a person in AOL chat rooms who likes to race-bait, and start trouble for no good reason. Well, it turns out he's also an internet predator.
Rowan has been stalking this young lady for quite a while now since she rejected his advances. Which is kind of strange since she's white and southern(two things Rowan continually bashes). His hypocrisy is on full display when sexual intercourse is involved. How sad and weak.
I feel sorry for Rowan(He's like Mad Max traveling the wastelands after his loss and pain). I thought I might share his inspirational story with the world. About how he's gone from mild-mannered normalcy, to bug-eyed sweaty perv. It's so touching, you'll need a shower afterward.
Here are some E-mails from and about "Nicky" and here is a link to a collection of all his crazy e-mails and rants
Subj: (no subject)
Date: 5/20/2004 11:05:02 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: RowanX2
To: Lady TabLeGrape
I'm sorry for asking that question, it was spontaneous. It's just that my heart is aching because I never got a chance to see what me and you would be like together. I'm crazy about you. I don't think I got a fair shot at winning your heart is all. You said you never thought anything would become of us because of the way I go on about women, and that you never thought I'd truly be able to care about you. I thought me telling you how I felt in those emails, and cards, would've shown you that you've changed me, that I've changed, that I actually care about you. That for the first time in my life, I saw that I was wrong about my opinions of women.
<<< endtransmission
Thursday, May 27, 2004
10:37:49 AM
Viewed 278 times
This is Nicky Jones...aka: Jp....aka...Rowanx2....and this guy was wanting me to be his girlfriend...I didn't have the same feelings for him as he did for me...I told him NO...well then this guy goes and looks up my exboyfriend...Jeffrey who is in the pic below this one...This guy sent me emails, which I will post...lol...telling me he was gonna make me pay for not having feelings for him...Just so you all know...He is helping Jeffrey to harass me and my parents...I will post his ID's as they become available, as he makes them....hahaha....Hey Nick...I don't want you....Get over it....Move On...Take your new girlfriend Jeffrey and make some babies or something....Thanks
Rowan has been stalking this young lady for quite a while now since she rejected his advances. Which is kind of strange since she's white and southern(two things Rowan continually bashes). His hypocrisy is on full display when sexual intercourse is involved. How sad and weak.
I feel sorry for Rowan(He's like Mad Max traveling the wastelands after his loss and pain). I thought I might share his inspirational story with the world. About how he's gone from mild-mannered normalcy, to bug-eyed sweaty perv. It's so touching, you'll need a shower afterward.
Here are some E-mails from and about "Nicky" and here is a link to a collection of all his crazy e-mails and rants
Subj: (no subject)
Date: 5/20/2004 11:05:02 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: RowanX2
To: Lady TabLeGrape
I'm sorry for asking that question, it was spontaneous. It's just that my heart is aching because I never got a chance to see what me and you would be like together. I'm crazy about you. I don't think I got a fair shot at winning your heart is all. You said you never thought anything would become of us because of the way I go on about women, and that you never thought I'd truly be able to care about you. I thought me telling you how I felt in those emails, and cards, would've shown you that you've changed me, that I've changed, that I actually care about you. That for the first time in my life, I saw that I was wrong about my opinions of women.
<<< endtransmission
Thursday, May 27, 2004
10:37:49 AM
Viewed 278 times
This is Nicky Jones...aka: Jp....aka...Rowanx2....and this guy was wanting me to be his girlfriend...I didn't have the same feelings for him as he did for me...I told him NO...well then this guy goes and looks up my exboyfriend...Jeffrey who is in the pic below this one...This guy sent me emails, which I will post...lol...telling me he was gonna make me pay for not having feelings for him...Just so you all know...He is helping Jeffrey to harass me and my parents...I will post his ID's as they become available, as he makes them....hahaha....Hey Nick...I don't want you....Get over it....Move On...Take your new girlfriend Jeffrey and make some babies or something....Thanks
Friday, February 18, 2005
My "To Do" list 02/18/05
1. do laundry
2.balance checkbook
3.dance queerly in front of my parents while they stare in complete silence at me
4.get some fruit roll-ups
5.molest myself again again
6. buy more yogurt and baby oil
7.taste the rainbow
8. renew NAMBLA membership
9.take out the trash
10. return Barry White album after sleepover at Father Carroll's
2.
3.
4.
5.
6. buy more yogurt and baby oil
7.
8. renew NAMBLA membership
9.
10. return Barry White album after sleepover at Father Carroll's
Monday, February 14, 2005
Valentine's Day '05
I think King of the Blogs sucked the life out of me this week. I haven't felt too motivated to post anything.
I did want to say, however, Valentine's Day is a nice holiday for some and not so fun for others. Fortunately, I'm in the first category these days thanks to my wife, Crystal. And, I just wanted to say I'm thankful for that.
I just wanted to say:
Happy Valentine's Day, Babe. I love you more and more each day.
Rene
p.s.
Thanks for the Valentine card Kirk! I feel bad I didn't get you anything.
I did want to say, however, Valentine's Day is a nice holiday for some and not so fun for others. Fortunately, I'm in the first category these days thanks to my wife, Crystal. And, I just wanted to say I'm thankful for that.
I just wanted to say:
Happy Valentine's Day, Babe. I love you more and more each day.
Rene
p.s.
Thanks for the Valentine card Kirk! I feel bad I didn't get you anything.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
King of the Blogs: Results
The Radical Centrist: 40
SilverSurfer9090: 37
Unadulterated Arrogance: 35.5
Click here for the Judges scorecards.(I acually won the scorecard!)
Well, I got much love from the judges on overall blog and my response to the challenge question. It was the submitted entry that killed me. My job sent me out of town this week and I really wanted to write two new posts for the contest, but I didn't have the time and I did all my submissions Monday night. Oh well, at least it was close and I didn't come in third. Which is kind of funny(the guy with the most votes in the poll came in dead last! crazy.)
I know if I had been in-town all week, I could have won(I could've given more to it). But it was a lot of fun, and I had a good time.
I sent out about a dozen e-mail last week asking folks to vote for me. Some did, and I said I would thank them in my Blog. So, without further ado...
Thanks go out to(all super-cool people):
Dark Corner7659
JasonVoorhees009
KirkKitsch
VampyreHuntress and Maggot
Spyderman1982
If I left anyone out please let me know, and I'll add them(I only got a few e-mails back. I'm trying to remember who said they did.)
SilverSurfer9090: 37
Unadulterated Arrogance: 35.5
Click here for the Judges scorecards.(I acually won the scorecard!)
Well, I got much love from the judges on overall blog and my response to the challenge question. It was the submitted entry that killed me. My job sent me out of town this week and I really wanted to write two new posts for the contest, but I didn't have the time and I did all my submissions Monday night. Oh well, at least it was close and I didn't come in third. Which is kind of funny(the guy with the most votes in the poll came in dead last! crazy.)
I know if I had been in-town all week, I could have won(I could've given more to it). But it was a lot of fun, and I had a good time.
I sent out about a dozen e-mail last week asking folks to vote for me. Some did, and I said I would thank them in my Blog. So, without further ado...
Thanks go out to(all super-cool people):
Dark Corner7659
JasonVoorhees009
KirkKitsch
VampyreHuntress and Maggot
Spyderman1982
If I left anyone out please let me know, and I'll add them(I only got a few e-mails back. I'm trying to remember who said they did.)
Saturday, February 12, 2005
02/12/05
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Hot for student
I'm not exactly sure what grown women see in having sex with a pre-teen boy! I do know that when I was a pre-teen boy, I wished that whatever it was, would be apparent in me. Unfortunately, that never happened. But it seems to be happening more regularly in the last few years. Of course, there could be a rational explanation behind all of this. Maybe these boys are really grown men trapped in young boys bodies, trying to fulfill their manly urges with the only women that understand them, their teachers. Or maybe these ladies are out of their damned minds!
I still can't see getting all hot and horny over someone you taught how to write in cursive, or the multiplication tables. I suppose I just lack the background in educating young people, and can't see the connection being made between teacher and student. Maybe I need to do further investigation into this subject. I could pose as a teacher, become close to several students, and commence to have sex with dozens of attractive young underage girls. It would be a difficult and time-consuming task, but I think I might just be the man for the job.
Teacher charged with having sex with student, 13
Wednesday, February 9, 2005 Posted: 8:45 AM EST (1345 GMT)
Teacher Pamela Turner is free on $50,000 bond.
McMINNVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- An elementary school teacher has been charged with having sex with one of her students, a 13-year-old boy, at his home and at school, authorities said Tuesday.
Pamela Turner, 27, was charged Monday with 15 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and 13 counts of statutory rape for acts between November and January.
Turner, who teaches physical education at Centertown Elementary, lived at the boy's house "for a brief period of time when she was moving from residence to residence," Warren County prosecutor Dale Potter said. The boy's parents did not know anything about the relationship, he said.
Potter said Turner was arrested Monday in Clarkrange, her hometown about 55 miles northeast of McMinnville in central Tennessee.
Conviction on all counts could be punished by up to 100 years in prison. But Potter said it was more likely that a conviction would mean a minimum of a year to several years in prison.
Turner is free on $50,000 bond. She's been placed on leave by the school system.
A telephone message left at the home of her father, who lives in Clarkrange, was not immediately returned Tuesday evening.
Turner's husband filed for divorce in January, alleging inappropriate marital conduct, according to the Southern Standard newspaper in McMinnville.
I still can't see getting all hot and horny over someone you taught how to write in cursive, or the multiplication tables. I suppose I just lack the background in educating young people, and can't see the connection being made between teacher and student. Maybe I need to do further investigation into this subject. I could pose as a teacher, become close to several students, and commence to have sex with dozens of attractive young underage girls. It would be a difficult and time-consuming task, but I think I might just be the man for the job.
Teacher charged with having sex with student, 13
Wednesday, February 9, 2005 Posted: 8:45 AM EST (1345 GMT)
Teacher Pamela Turner is free on $50,000 bond.
McMINNVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- An elementary school teacher has been charged with having sex with one of her students, a 13-year-old boy, at his home and at school, authorities said Tuesday.
Pamela Turner, 27, was charged Monday with 15 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and 13 counts of statutory rape for acts between November and January.
Turner, who teaches physical education at Centertown Elementary, lived at the boy's house "for a brief period of time when she was moving from residence to residence," Warren County prosecutor Dale Potter said. The boy's parents did not know anything about the relationship, he said.
Potter said Turner was arrested Monday in Clarkrange, her hometown about 55 miles northeast of McMinnville in central Tennessee.
Conviction on all counts could be punished by up to 100 years in prison. But Potter said it was more likely that a conviction would mean a minimum of a year to several years in prison.
Turner is free on $50,000 bond. She's been placed on leave by the school system.
A telephone message left at the home of her father, who lives in Clarkrange, was not immediately returned Tuesday evening.
Turner's husband filed for divorce in January, alleging inappropriate marital conduct, according to the Southern Standard newspaper in McMinnville.
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
Monday, February 7, 2005
A promise
My hand to God, I swear I'll never eat a dozen BBQ wings and 40 pizza rolls, again! Super Bowl, or not. Thank you.
::Stomach explodes, and covers walls in marinara and wing sauce::
(sighs)God, that felt good!
::Stomach explodes, and covers walls in marinara and wing sauce::
(sighs)God, that felt good!
The theory
I think I would have been a really good duck(here me out, now!). I mean, do you really think we're all meant to be humans? Maybe we are, but I could really swim well, and have no problem waddling after bread crumbs. Which is why I'm writing this post tonight. I have a subject I want to discuss, and in a way, also beg for your pity on me(by squawking and begging for bread crumbs!).
My subject is actually... a theory. The Theory of Blogativity. The name is deceptivitely complex for something rather simple. In essence, the Theory of Blogativity states "if one blogger knows it, all bloggers will know it, if the information has legs of it's own". Like when I slipped in the shower, breaking my leg. The paramedics were called and later I had to explain why I was in the shower in my mother's dress(It was for Halloween, I swear). It was a difficult time for me, but the rumors about the hamsters were just uncalled for! But, through the Theory of Blogativity, and my no-good cousin, the news spread like a wildfire.
Of course, many bloggers would also use the term to describe the vicious cycle that is blogging itself. Not only do many people want to have their voice heard, but they also enjoy searching out and hearing the voices of others. I know I've spent many hours reading about some grandmother's cats(Newman was the mischievous one), or how some guy on the West coast wants to put a pencil in his boss's eye(don't let Wal-Mart get to ya, Sherman). Then, there's the folks who want to gloat when their teams when sporting events(I don't care, Pietro, I have to say it! THE EAGLES WILL RISE AGAIN!).
Afterward, I often ask myself,"Why, Norrin, why?". I guess it's all due to the Theory of Blogativity. Of course, everyone has their own opinion. My brother, Mike, would simply relate this to his Theory of Loser-ocity, of which I am the thesis. My wife would simply attribute it to mild retardation. I, on the other hand, prefer to believe I have a strong hunger for knowledge and interesting people. But, that could just be the retardation talking. Speaking of retardation, I like a man who's into wood paneling, Ogre(was that a compliment, or an insult?... Yes, it was).
So, really the Theory of Blogativity doesn't have one true meaning, but is a amalgam, and a malleable term for simply being a die-hard blogger. With that said, I want to do some waddling now. No one is home, and I want to express my inner spirit. I pray that someday I'll get the chance to live out my feathered dreams. Until that day comes, I'll just settle on my more realistic goals and wear one of my mother's dresses(it's for Halloween!).
Maybe Graham Chapman should come in, dressed as a policeman, and break this up for being "far too silly", Songstress. Nah, I just need to grow up and quit watching Cartoon Network all day.
My subject is actually... a theory. The Theory of Blogativity. The name is deceptivitely complex for something rather simple. In essence, the Theory of Blogativity states "if one blogger knows it, all bloggers will know it, if the information has legs of it's own". Like when I slipped in the shower, breaking my leg. The paramedics were called and later I had to explain why I was in the shower in my mother's dress(It was for Halloween, I swear). It was a difficult time for me, but the rumors about the hamsters were just uncalled for! But, through the Theory of Blogativity, and my no-good cousin, the news spread like a wildfire.
Of course, many bloggers would also use the term to describe the vicious cycle that is blogging itself. Not only do many people want to have their voice heard, but they also enjoy searching out and hearing the voices of others. I know I've spent many hours reading about some grandmother's cats(Newman was the mischievous one), or how some guy on the West coast wants to put a pencil in his boss's eye(don't let Wal-Mart get to ya, Sherman). Then, there's the folks who want to gloat when their teams when sporting events(I don't care, Pietro, I have to say it! THE EAGLES WILL RISE AGAIN!).
Afterward, I often ask myself,"Why, Norrin, why?". I guess it's all due to the Theory of Blogativity. Of course, everyone has their own opinion. My brother, Mike, would simply relate this to his Theory of Loser-ocity, of which I am the thesis. My wife would simply attribute it to mild retardation. I, on the other hand, prefer to believe I have a strong hunger for knowledge and interesting people. But, that could just be the retardation talking. Speaking of retardation, I like a man who's into wood paneling, Ogre(was that a compliment, or an insult?... Yes, it was).
So, really the Theory of Blogativity doesn't have one true meaning, but is a amalgam, and a malleable term for simply being a die-hard blogger. With that said, I want to do some waddling now. No one is home, and I want to express my inner spirit. I pray that someday I'll get the chance to live out my feathered dreams. Until that day comes, I'll just settle on my more realistic goals and wear one of my mother's dresses(it's for Halloween!).
Maybe Graham Chapman should come in, dressed as a policeman, and break this up for being "far too silly", Songstress. Nah, I just need to grow up and quit watching Cartoon Network all day.
Sunday, February 6, 2005
Super Bowl Sunday
Well, it's Super Bowl Sunday. And to be honest, I'm really not into either team this year, so I guess I'll be watching for the commercials(watching TV for the commercials?!). Out of the two, however, I'm gonna have to root for Philadelphia because I like underdogs, and New England won't be hurting if they don't win another Super Bowl.
Having a Super Bowl party, however, is something worth rooting for no matter who is playing. I always enjoy getting together with friends over a bountiful feast of Buffalo wings, pizza rolls, and spinach dip. And don't forget a frosty cold beer, or cola of your choice! I know I won't(I'll be enjoying a nice cream soda since I'm just too cheap to buy beer). Of course, I have two Super Bowl-style parties each year(Wrestlemania 21 isn't too far off).
The Super Bowl will be displaying a different kind of Half-time show this year, too. I'm interested to see what they do with Paul McCartney, and how shockingly decent it will be. I mean, of what I've seen in the last few years it was getting a little ridiculous. Last year's debacle was viewed by millions, but not me because I flipped the channel over to some Half-time special on another channel. I never watch the Half-time show, and after missing what happened last year, I felt cheated(just kidding!).
Whatever team you cheer for, or rituals you and your family have for this day. I hope it's as enjoyable as it should be. I know I'm gonna relax, and have fun. And who knows, it might actually be an exciting game(remember St. Louis/Tennessee?)!
How to Throw a Great Super Bowl Party
Saturday, February 05, 2005
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Event planner and interior designer Colin Cowie (search), most famous for throwing Oprah's 50th birthday party, spoke to FOX News entertainment reporter Lisa Bernhard from Jacksonville, Fla., where he is preparing a pre-game Super Bowl (search) party for football legends and their wives.
Cowie, known for his simple elegance, thinks the whole idea of planning a Super Bowl bash is to "come up with a formula that keeps you glued to the television screen and not chained to the kitchen stove."
"I think any well-organized party has a well-thought-out bar," he told FOX. "So you don't have to play the host and bartender all day long, this is kind of set up as a self-help bar. I put beautiful, colored glasses out to make it elegant as well."
As for drinks, Cowie serves different types of beers, soft drinks, red wine, white wine, iced tea and even coffee.
"Guests can help themselves at any time. It's easy to do," he said.
Then there's the grub — which, given that it's the Super Bowl, is largely focused on meat.
"To keep the stomach lined I made this wonderful chili, and of course, as with anything, if you start with great ingredients you get a great product. So I worked with the best-quality beef I could find, but I'm serving it like caviar. I have a myriad of different accompaniments here, so you can mix it to your own liking, whether hot, spicy or medium," he said.
For rib lovers, Cowie puts them under the broiler so the sugar in the sauce caramelizes to produce that just-off-the-barbecue look. He then heats them in the oven on a smooth rack.
To serve between courses, Cowie prepares lighter fare: an array of salads on trays with dressing.
"Once again, guests help themselves," he said.
And whatever you do, don't reheat pizza, Cowie warns.
"I buy the pizzas from the pizza store ready to be cooked, and pop them in the oven. We're not ordering pizza," he said.
Finally, he breaks out the champagne, to "drown our sorrows with the losers or celebrate with the winners."(foxnews.com)
Related Super Bowl Links(foxnews.com)
Fast Facts: Eagles vs Patriots
Cute Beats Crude in 2005 Super Bowl Ads
Jackson Changed Halftime Show Expectations
01/27/05 FoxPoll: Super Bowl Predictions
Ford Pulls Lustful Super Bowl Car Ad
Faith Takes Center Stage at Super Bowl
McCartney Safe Bet for Super Bowl Halftime
Having a Super Bowl party, however, is something worth rooting for no matter who is playing. I always enjoy getting together with friends over a bountiful feast of Buffalo wings, pizza rolls, and spinach dip. And don't forget a frosty cold beer, or cola of your choice! I know I won't(I'll be enjoying a nice cream soda since I'm just too cheap to buy beer). Of course, I have two Super Bowl-style parties each year(Wrestlemania 21 isn't too far off).
The Super Bowl will be displaying a different kind of Half-time show this year, too. I'm interested to see what they do with Paul McCartney, and how shockingly decent it will be. I mean, of what I've seen in the last few years it was getting a little ridiculous. Last year's debacle was viewed by millions, but not me because I flipped the channel over to some Half-time special on another channel. I never watch the Half-time show, and after missing what happened last year, I felt cheated(just kidding!).
Whatever team you cheer for, or rituals you and your family have for this day. I hope it's as enjoyable as it should be. I know I'm gonna relax, and have fun. And who knows, it might actually be an exciting game(remember St. Louis/Tennessee?)!
How to Throw a Great Super Bowl Party
Saturday, February 05, 2005
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Event planner and interior designer Colin Cowie (search), most famous for throwing Oprah's 50th birthday party, spoke to FOX News entertainment reporter Lisa Bernhard from Jacksonville, Fla., where he is preparing a pre-game Super Bowl (search) party for football legends and their wives.
Cowie, known for his simple elegance, thinks the whole idea of planning a Super Bowl bash is to "come up with a formula that keeps you glued to the television screen and not chained to the kitchen stove."
"I think any well-organized party has a well-thought-out bar," he told FOX. "So you don't have to play the host and bartender all day long, this is kind of set up as a self-help bar. I put beautiful, colored glasses out to make it elegant as well."
As for drinks, Cowie serves different types of beers, soft drinks, red wine, white wine, iced tea and even coffee.
"Guests can help themselves at any time. It's easy to do," he said.
Then there's the grub — which, given that it's the Super Bowl, is largely focused on meat.
"To keep the stomach lined I made this wonderful chili, and of course, as with anything, if you start with great ingredients you get a great product. So I worked with the best-quality beef I could find, but I'm serving it like caviar. I have a myriad of different accompaniments here, so you can mix it to your own liking, whether hot, spicy or medium," he said.
For rib lovers, Cowie puts them under the broiler so the sugar in the sauce caramelizes to produce that just-off-the-barbecue look. He then heats them in the oven on a smooth rack.
To serve between courses, Cowie prepares lighter fare: an array of salads on trays with dressing.
"Once again, guests help themselves," he said.
And whatever you do, don't reheat pizza, Cowie warns.
"I buy the pizzas from the pizza store ready to be cooked, and pop them in the oven. We're not ordering pizza," he said.
Finally, he breaks out the champagne, to "drown our sorrows with the losers or celebrate with the winners."(foxnews.com)
Related Super Bowl Links(foxnews.com)
Fast Facts: Eagles vs Patriots
Cute Beats Crude in 2005 Super Bowl Ads
Jackson Changed Halftime Show Expectations
01/27/05 FoxPoll: Super Bowl Predictions
Ford Pulls Lustful Super Bowl Car Ad
Faith Takes Center Stage at Super Bowl
McCartney Safe Bet for Super Bowl Halftime
Saturday, February 5, 2005
Stories from the vault: Academics
Math. I hate math with a passion. I think it was created just to spite me.
When I started "From the vault" I thought I would just write about my misadventures. I've since come to realize that to do so would only tell one dimension of my life, and wouldn't give much insight into who I am(not deep insight, anyway). So, since telling a handful of drunken party stories(I think I've told about 12% of them), I'm more in the mood to talk about subjects like this. Besides, all these subjects tie together in the end. Partying basically ruined my academics(duh?!).
When it came time for me to go to Pre-K, I told my mother I didn't want to do it. Most parents would have sent their kid anyway, since they have to go to work and handle a dozen other things. My mother was different. She didn't work, so she didn't have that problem. Plus, I was a favored child in many ways since I was the shy, quiet one. As I got older my favored status seemed to grow stronger. I don't think it was because of anything I did, but more of what my older brother Mike, and my younger sister Ashley did, that made me mom's star. We'll talk more about Mike and Ashley's junior rapsheets in the future.
So, I skipped Pre-K and waited for kindergarten to actually start my schooling. My mom still believes my lack of Pre-K only enhanced my shyness when I got to kindergarten(I think there's truth to that). Of course, kindergarten is pretty much finger-painting, and lincoln logs, so there really isn't much to sweat.
Elementary school(1-5), was a little different. I had friends in elementary school, but I was still quite introverted and quiet. Also, at the time I became what you could categorize as "husky", as clearly stated on the tag in my jeans. I did quite good on my report cards though, and didn't really have any trouble except maybe keeping up during gym class. I was even offered a spot in accelerated learning classes(I said no thanks, and my mother allowed me to make the decision). Things went smoothly for me up until about the end of 4th grade. That's when the math actually became work for me(mostly because I started to quit doing the work, and no one at my house made me). I still get a little ticked-off when I see a deck of flash cards.
Then Middle school came, and my downward spiral came into full and vibrant technicolor. I actually began to slide in 5th grade. I remember my teacher sitting me and my best friend at the time, Norman Cromwell, down and giving us the facts about our inferior efforts. I brushed it off at the time, but should've listened to what he was saying. I went through 6th grade maintaining a C average(I wouldn't see the Honor Roll again after 5th). And with my older brother flat out flunking the 7th grade, a year out in front, I was happy with a C, and so was my mother. At the same time, I learned how to become more disruptive in class, and how to get detentions at least once a week. It got so bad, that once in the 7th grade, I was given a suspension for having so many detentions(the Vice Principal held up a stack of detention slips stating he had a "phone book on me"). I wish I could say that was a turning point towards straightening up my act, but no one was really making me feel like I was going down the wrong road. I mean, I was hearing it from faculty members, but what pre-teen from a broken home, and attitude problems, listens to teachers? Before leaving middle school I would go to summer school to finish 8th grade, and go into high school with about a C- average.
Then, I went into just straight apathy. At the beginning of high school I met a new friend, Freddy Evans, and met a new substance called marijuana. The three of us spent many hours together after school, and on the weekends just tokin' away, and listening to music and bong water bubbling. I was so stoned and lazy at the time, I had calculated how many classes I could fail each year, and chose the ones I was gonna sleep through. It might have worked if I hadn't just straight-out did nothing in my junior year(I passed only three classes).
Academically, high school was a bust for me, but socially it was outstanding. The husky jeans were gone, kind of(I had began lifting weights in the 7th grade, as I was growing taller and thinning out a bit). And people actually wanted to hang out with me, which was new. I gained a lot of friends through the Art Club, and my off-key sense of humor, drawing farmers with their sheep, and other such artworks. Plus, potheads seem to stick together, so I was never lonely.
When senior year came around I was forced to wake up, however. I used to spend my summers with my dad in Florida. So, when I came home from Florida my mother had some interesting news for me. It seems I was supposed to go to summer school again, but my mother never told me. She figured since I was in Florida already, I should just enjoy my summer with my dad and complete the 11th grade again when I got back(yeah, bad figuring). I was completely devastated. I couldn't believe what had been done to me by my own mother.
I went to my school, and did some of the best negotiating on my own behalf ever seen. They told me I had no choice but to repeat the 11th grade because I needed 7.5 more credits to graduate, and 7 credits are all you can earn for a year. If I had gone to summer school, and earned 1 credit I could have gone on, but since I did not... I could not. Then, I came up with an idea that I still can't believe they went for. I said to the school that if they let me continue onto the 12th grade, I would pass all 7 classes(something I hadn't done in any of my previous three years), and THEN go to summer school to get the .5 credit I would lack for my diploma. They thought about it... and said OK! I basically offered up the plot to a bad Adam Sandler movie, and the Board of Education said OK!
Well, somehow I pulled it off. I went to summer school after senior year, and got my diploma. I came close to failing(I had to turn in homework in English class on the last day of school just to get a D-). Afterwards, I went on the warpath, and got wasted everyday. My father made me enroll in the local community college, where I flunked all three of my part-time classes. He got so pissed at his stoner son, that he brought me down to Florida, and watched every move I made. For his efforts he was rewarded with a son who was a certified AutoCAD Drafter and Blueprint Reader. Since then, I've worked as a Land Surveyor, and been quite successful so far.
Not much of a student(1.37 GPA!), but I still enjoyed my time in school. I'm trying to make plans to go back soon, and possibly do something in graphic arts. We'll see what happens.
When I started "From the vault" I thought I would just write about my misadventures. I've since come to realize that to do so would only tell one dimension of my life, and wouldn't give much insight into who I am(not deep insight, anyway). So, since telling a handful of drunken party stories(I think I've told about 12% of them), I'm more in the mood to talk about subjects like this. Besides, all these subjects tie together in the end. Partying basically ruined my academics(duh?!).
When it came time for me to go to Pre-K, I told my mother I didn't want to do it. Most parents would have sent their kid anyway, since they have to go to work and handle a dozen other things. My mother was different. She didn't work, so she didn't have that problem. Plus, I was a favored child in many ways since I was the shy, quiet one. As I got older my favored status seemed to grow stronger. I don't think it was because of anything I did, but more of what my older brother Mike, and my younger sister Ashley did, that made me mom's star. We'll talk more about Mike and Ashley's junior rapsheets in the future.
So, I skipped Pre-K and waited for kindergarten to actually start my schooling. My mom still believes my lack of Pre-K only enhanced my shyness when I got to kindergarten(I think there's truth to that). Of course, kindergarten is pretty much finger-painting, and lincoln logs, so there really isn't much to sweat.
Elementary school(1-5), was a little different. I had friends in elementary school, but I was still quite introverted and quiet. Also, at the time I became what you could categorize as "husky", as clearly stated on the tag in my jeans. I did quite good on my report cards though, and didn't really have any trouble except maybe keeping up during gym class. I was even offered a spot in accelerated learning classes(I said no thanks, and my mother allowed me to make the decision). Things went smoothly for me up until about the end of 4th grade. That's when the math actually became work for me(mostly because I started to quit doing the work, and no one at my house made me). I still get a little ticked-off when I see a deck of flash cards.
Then Middle school came, and my downward spiral came into full and vibrant technicolor. I actually began to slide in 5th grade. I remember my teacher sitting me and my best friend at the time, Norman Cromwell, down and giving us the facts about our inferior efforts. I brushed it off at the time, but should've listened to what he was saying. I went through 6th grade maintaining a C average(I wouldn't see the Honor Roll again after 5th). And with my older brother flat out flunking the 7th grade, a year out in front, I was happy with a C, and so was my mother. At the same time, I learned how to become more disruptive in class, and how to get detentions at least once a week. It got so bad, that once in the 7th grade, I was given a suspension for having so many detentions(the Vice Principal held up a stack of detention slips stating he had a "phone book on me"). I wish I could say that was a turning point towards straightening up my act, but no one was really making me feel like I was going down the wrong road. I mean, I was hearing it from faculty members, but what pre-teen from a broken home, and attitude problems, listens to teachers? Before leaving middle school I would go to summer school to finish 8th grade, and go into high school with about a C- average.
Then, I went into just straight apathy. At the beginning of high school I met a new friend, Freddy Evans, and met a new substance called marijuana. The three of us spent many hours together after school, and on the weekends just tokin' away, and listening to music and bong water bubbling. I was so stoned and lazy at the time, I had calculated how many classes I could fail each year, and chose the ones I was gonna sleep through. It might have worked if I hadn't just straight-out did nothing in my junior year(I passed only three classes).
Academically, high school was a bust for me, but socially it was outstanding. The husky jeans were gone, kind of(I had began lifting weights in the 7th grade, as I was growing taller and thinning out a bit). And people actually wanted to hang out with me, which was new. I gained a lot of friends through the Art Club, and my off-key sense of humor, drawing farmers with their sheep, and other such artworks. Plus, potheads seem to stick together, so I was never lonely.
When senior year came around I was forced to wake up, however. I used to spend my summers with my dad in Florida. So, when I came home from Florida my mother had some interesting news for me. It seems I was supposed to go to summer school again, but my mother never told me. She figured since I was in Florida already, I should just enjoy my summer with my dad and complete the 11th grade again when I got back(yeah, bad figuring). I was completely devastated. I couldn't believe what had been done to me by my own mother.
I went to my school, and did some of the best negotiating on my own behalf ever seen. They told me I had no choice but to repeat the 11th grade because I needed 7.5 more credits to graduate, and 7 credits are all you can earn for a year. If I had gone to summer school, and earned 1 credit I could have gone on, but since I did not... I could not. Then, I came up with an idea that I still can't believe they went for. I said to the school that if they let me continue onto the 12th grade, I would pass all 7 classes(something I hadn't done in any of my previous three years), and THEN go to summer school to get the .5 credit I would lack for my diploma. They thought about it... and said OK! I basically offered up the plot to a bad Adam Sandler movie, and the Board of Education said OK!
Well, somehow I pulled it off. I went to summer school after senior year, and got my diploma. I came close to failing(I had to turn in homework in English class on the last day of school just to get a D-). Afterwards, I went on the warpath, and got wasted everyday. My father made me enroll in the local community college, where I flunked all three of my part-time classes. He got so pissed at his stoner son, that he brought me down to Florida, and watched every move I made. For his efforts he was rewarded with a son who was a certified AutoCAD Drafter and Blueprint Reader. Since then, I've worked as a Land Surveyor, and been quite successful so far.
Not much of a student(1.37 GPA!), but I still enjoyed my time in school. I'm trying to make plans to go back soon, and possibly do something in graphic arts. We'll see what happens.
Waking up at 10:30 a.m.
I used to stay up until dawn. Then, until about 4 a.m. Since then, I've devolved to around 11 p.m. Once I was a night owl. Now, I'm not a morning person, or a night person. Importance of this news: no importance what-so-ever! I just came to realize it this morning, and it saddened me for some reason(why, I don't know).
Also, that Graceland is the "Hillbilly Buckingham Palace". Also, of no importance.
Also, that Graceland is the "Hillbilly Buckingham Palace". Also, of no importance.
Friday, February 4, 2005
The Mass Exploitation of Our Youth
I'm back. Why the absence? Well, I've taken a writing job on the website www.411mania.com. I'm in the movie sections under the name Ashton Lovecraft. But because Norrin is my bestest friend in the whole widest world, I'm going to still come here and be unfunny occasionally.
Today's topic is about one of the biggest mass exploitations of children, one of the worst programs running...
...
....
...
Winnie the Pooh.
That's right, Winnie the Pooh is EVIL, and I'm going to tell you why.
See, Winnie the Pooh? He's homosexual. It's obvious. He has an "ie" ending on his name, which is a feminem ending, as opposed to the "y" ending, which is masculine. Plus he just looks gay. Look at him for 5 seconds and tell me that he's ever thought about humping another teddy bear like creature. I dare you. Not to mention that he's always got his hand dipped in a jar of honey. He wants to rub it all over a penis and slowly lick it off, savoring the taste.
But Winnie the Pooh isn't the only bad part of the show. The shows demonstrates and supports several other dangerous alternative lifestyles. Allow me to demonstrate.
Eeyore... He's manic depressive. Seriously, look at the guy. He's a big, blue donkey... and he's always sad. ALWAYS. The blue skin is a metaphor for that he's always blue, as in depressed. Is it really safe to teach kids that always feeling bad is cute and an acceptable way to live life? I don't think so. This is corrupting kids at a very young and impressionable age, and the teen suicide rate is steadily climbing at a direct result. We must stop this madness NOW.
Tigger... He's a crack head. He's constantly bouncing around, and constantly blabbering in a near to incoherent speech. He's teaching our kids that illegal substances are okay to put into the body. He exemplifies what is wrong with our world today... he glorifies the abuse of mind and body altering substances that should be ingested in no form at any time in a lifetime. Showing this to kids will do nothing but increase the crime rate, as more drugs will be bought, meaning more drug wars will be fought. Do you want your 5 year old to grow up to be a dealer?
Rabbit... He's obsessive compulsive. He twitches constantly and is always running around and double-triple-quadruple checking things. It's sad to watch the decay of a character like that, and it's glorifying that type of behavior to our kids. How many children are going to grow up and become victims of OCD just because they remember that one of their favorite cartoons acted that way? I'll tell you right now, it's not okay for a child to become just like a cartoon character, especially one with such a serious mental disorder as Rabbit.
Owl... He's an arrogant aristocrat. He believes that he's smarter than everyone else, and therefore better than everyone else. He's quick to remind you that he's smarter than you, and therefore you should obey him. Do we want our kids to learn to treat each other equally, or do we want them to learn to fear people that may be better than us in some ways? Sounds like a pretty shitty lifestyle to live, if you ask me. I, for one, refuse to let my kids believe that they're inferior to ANYONE. Why should they have to respect someone who places themself on such a higher level than them? It's not about whether or not someone's better than you... it's about whether or not they try to dictate you because they're better than you. Do you want your kids to be working the 9 to 5 shift at Walmart just because they never learned to stand up for their own rights?
Gopher... He's full of paranoid delusions. He constantly digs holes and tunnels in 100 Aker Woods, and acts much like a disgruntled WWII veteran. He's always speaking of different conspiracies that are obviously aimed at him or anyone he knows, and he's always grumpy about it. This behavior should be far from supported, because it shows the kind of life people can be put into after a traumatic event. While it's important for kids to understand about death and war in the world, it's NOT necessary to expose them at such an early age to the horrible behavioral and mental changes these events can cause to a person's life.
Kanga and Roo... These two character exemplify the relationships mothers have with children these days. Roo was the younger one, always hanging out with Tigger. This is obviously a bad sign, seeing that Tigger is a crack head. Kanga is shown to be extremely motherly and lets Roo hang out with Tigger, which is a bad sign. It supports the idea that mothers should allow their kids to run rampant and do whatever they want with no consequences imposed by the parents. By allowing Roo to hang out with an obvious drug dealer and abuser, she's telling parents of the world that it's okay for kids to experiment with different substances and hanging out with anyone they want, and that they should never be punished for such behavior.
Piglet... He's anal retentive. He exemplifies yet another problem with raising kids: he's afraid of everything. He teaches kids that it's okay to fear change and to fear challenges in life, and that they should all run away from these things and expect other people to solve the problems for them, as opposed to standing up for themselves and learning how to deal with life on their own. Without facing your own challenges, it makes it near to impossible to live a normal life out of childhood, and leads to much disrespect and being made fun of in later years. Also, it's hard to get a girlfriend when someone is afraid of as simple of a word as "no," which could also lead to a lack of being able to get a job of any type. There's just no way to succeed in life following the lesson that Piglet displays.
With all of the above arguments, you really have to think... is Winnie the Pooh something you want your kids to watch? Any single one of these personalities forming in a young child's mind is bad enough, much less any or all of them combining into one giant personality. Are any of these personalities something you actually wish upon your child?
What I'm calling for is for someone to think of the children, and stop showing Winnie the Pooh to our kids.
Thank you.
-LZ
Today's topic is about one of the biggest mass exploitations of children, one of the worst programs running...
...
....
...
Winnie the Pooh.
That's right, Winnie the Pooh is EVIL, and I'm going to tell you why.
See, Winnie the Pooh? He's homosexual. It's obvious. He has an "ie" ending on his name, which is a feminem ending, as opposed to the "y" ending, which is masculine. Plus he just looks gay. Look at him for 5 seconds and tell me that he's ever thought about humping another teddy bear like creature. I dare you. Not to mention that he's always got his hand dipped in a jar of honey. He wants to rub it all over a penis and slowly lick it off, savoring the taste.
But Winnie the Pooh isn't the only bad part of the show. The shows demonstrates and supports several other dangerous alternative lifestyles. Allow me to demonstrate.
Eeyore... He's manic depressive. Seriously, look at the guy. He's a big, blue donkey... and he's always sad. ALWAYS. The blue skin is a metaphor for that he's always blue, as in depressed. Is it really safe to teach kids that always feeling bad is cute and an acceptable way to live life? I don't think so. This is corrupting kids at a very young and impressionable age, and the teen suicide rate is steadily climbing at a direct result. We must stop this madness NOW.
Tigger... He's a crack head. He's constantly bouncing around, and constantly blabbering in a near to incoherent speech. He's teaching our kids that illegal substances are okay to put into the body. He exemplifies what is wrong with our world today... he glorifies the abuse of mind and body altering substances that should be ingested in no form at any time in a lifetime. Showing this to kids will do nothing but increase the crime rate, as more drugs will be bought, meaning more drug wars will be fought. Do you want your 5 year old to grow up to be a dealer?
Rabbit... He's obsessive compulsive. He twitches constantly and is always running around and double-triple-quadruple checking things. It's sad to watch the decay of a character like that, and it's glorifying that type of behavior to our kids. How many children are going to grow up and become victims of OCD just because they remember that one of their favorite cartoons acted that way? I'll tell you right now, it's not okay for a child to become just like a cartoon character, especially one with such a serious mental disorder as Rabbit.
Owl... He's an arrogant aristocrat. He believes that he's smarter than everyone else, and therefore better than everyone else. He's quick to remind you that he's smarter than you, and therefore you should obey him. Do we want our kids to learn to treat each other equally, or do we want them to learn to fear people that may be better than us in some ways? Sounds like a pretty shitty lifestyle to live, if you ask me. I, for one, refuse to let my kids believe that they're inferior to ANYONE. Why should they have to respect someone who places themself on such a higher level than them? It's not about whether or not someone's better than you... it's about whether or not they try to dictate you because they're better than you. Do you want your kids to be working the 9 to 5 shift at Walmart just because they never learned to stand up for their own rights?
Gopher... He's full of paranoid delusions. He constantly digs holes and tunnels in 100 Aker Woods, and acts much like a disgruntled WWII veteran. He's always speaking of different conspiracies that are obviously aimed at him or anyone he knows, and he's always grumpy about it. This behavior should be far from supported, because it shows the kind of life people can be put into after a traumatic event. While it's important for kids to understand about death and war in the world, it's NOT necessary to expose them at such an early age to the horrible behavioral and mental changes these events can cause to a person's life.
Kanga and Roo... These two character exemplify the relationships mothers have with children these days. Roo was the younger one, always hanging out with Tigger. This is obviously a bad sign, seeing that Tigger is a crack head. Kanga is shown to be extremely motherly and lets Roo hang out with Tigger, which is a bad sign. It supports the idea that mothers should allow their kids to run rampant and do whatever they want with no consequences imposed by the parents. By allowing Roo to hang out with an obvious drug dealer and abuser, she's telling parents of the world that it's okay for kids to experiment with different substances and hanging out with anyone they want, and that they should never be punished for such behavior.
Piglet... He's anal retentive. He exemplifies yet another problem with raising kids: he's afraid of everything. He teaches kids that it's okay to fear change and to fear challenges in life, and that they should all run away from these things and expect other people to solve the problems for them, as opposed to standing up for themselves and learning how to deal with life on their own. Without facing your own challenges, it makes it near to impossible to live a normal life out of childhood, and leads to much disrespect and being made fun of in later years. Also, it's hard to get a girlfriend when someone is afraid of as simple of a word as "no," which could also lead to a lack of being able to get a job of any type. There's just no way to succeed in life following the lesson that Piglet displays.
With all of the above arguments, you really have to think... is Winnie the Pooh something you want your kids to watch? Any single one of these personalities forming in a young child's mind is bad enough, much less any or all of them combining into one giant personality. Are any of these personalities something you actually wish upon your child?
What I'm calling for is for someone to think of the children, and stop showing Winnie the Pooh to our kids.
Thank you.
-LZ
Tax Returns 2
Well, it seems Uncle Sam is giving me back $800. Thanks Sam, for giving me something that is actually mine anyway. But thanks, none the less.
Anyone do better?
Anyone do worse?
Kool and the Gang Celebration RealAudio
Anyone do better?
Anyone do worse?
Kool and the Gang Celebration RealAudio
Hero of the day
I want to become a hero. I want to be at the right place, at the right time. I don't want to have to do anything actually "heroic" though. Something simple with great accolades is all I ask. Is that so wrong?
I think my dream scenario would be: A baby trapped in a well. I would be walking by, eating my cheese sandwich, when out of nowhere I hear a cry in the distant. After running toward the sounds of desperation, I would discover an old mining well. I would then get my Pocket Fisherman, drop a line down into the dark shaft, using a pacifier as bait. After successfully hooking my toddler, I would gently reel it in.
By this time, the media will have arrived with cameras and flashbulbs will be going off everywhere.
"How did ya do it?!" asks one excited local news man.
"Well, it's all in the wrist," I'll reply nonchalantly.
As the cameras gather around, I'll hold my prize catch in the air like a trophy-winning swordfish.
"Fight of my life!" I'll boast, holding the young child by it's feet and posing like a victorious sea captain. God, it would be awesome!
That's all I want! Is that so wrong? It is? Ah, whatever. I still want it!
I'd like to thank the guys in the chat room for inspiring this piece. You know who you are!
I think my dream scenario would be: A baby trapped in a well. I would be walking by, eating my cheese sandwich, when out of nowhere I hear a cry in the distant. After running toward the sounds of desperation, I would discover an old mining well. I would then get my Pocket Fisherman, drop a line down into the dark shaft, using a pacifier as bait. After successfully hooking my toddler, I would gently reel it in.
By this time, the media will have arrived with cameras and flashbulbs will be going off everywhere.
"How did ya do it?!" asks one excited local news man.
"Well, it's all in the wrist," I'll reply nonchalantly.
As the cameras gather around, I'll hold my prize catch in the air like a trophy-winning swordfish.
"Fight of my life!" I'll boast, holding the young child by it's feet and posing like a victorious sea captain. God, it would be awesome!
That's all I want! Is that so wrong? It is? Ah, whatever. I still want it!
I'd like to thank the guys in the chat room for inspiring this piece. You know who you are!
Thursday, February 3, 2005
Stories from the vault: Cumberland, MD
In previous "From the vault:" posts I've mentioned that all these stories took place in Western Maryland. Well, to be more precise, they all take place in Cumberland, MD.
I currently live in Panama City, FL(there's a "From the vault:" post concerning that reason, in the future). Shortly after graduating from Fort Hill High School in 1999, I came to live here in 2000. Moving 1,000 miles was an opportunity to get my life on track and change my direction(which I didn't have). Since moving to Florida I quit using drugs, and no longer get drunk. I've finished school, and have a pretty good job as a Land Surveyor. I also met my wife, and got married at 22. My life is comfortable, and more than I expected of it a few years ago.
So, when I say these stories no longer reflect me, I mean it. But, they definitely reflect the person I used to be(and the person most of my friends still are). I just figured I never really speak about myself because such posts are usually boring to me, and I didn't want to bore you. So, that's why I decided to just hit the highlights and lowlights real quick with these "From the vault:" posts.
This one concerns my hometown: Cumberland, MD. The "Queen City" as it says on the welcome signs on the edge of town(because at one time Cumberland was the second largest city in MD). Since those days, however, most of the factory work left town and all the blue-collar workers basically became unemployed, or moved away. The city has become kind of a retirement town, since only the retired can afford to live there. And retirement towns don't offer much in the way of entertainment.
Being a teenager in Cumberland was like slowly drowning in your own inevitable future. No one seemed to have any real ambition. Entire families had literally grown up and stayed put there. Some of my friends could find there father, mother, grandparents, aunts, and uncle's graduation pictures in the school library. I didn't have that distinction since my mother, Debbie, moved us to Cumberland when she decided Baltimore was getting too rough in the early 80s. My father, Rene, was a U.S. Navy salvage diver, and also from San Juan, Puerto Rico.
My parents met in Baltimore when my father was stationed there. Their relationship was always turbulent. When my mother got pregnant with me, they decided to get married, and moved to Puerto Rico. Knowing them both today, I'm not sure what they had in common besides me. They got divorced when I was 4, and my mother got custody. Afterward, she brought us(myself and my older brother Mike from a previous marriage) to Cumberland.
Now, as a young kid, Cumberland was just fine and dandy! You could play outside without supervision, ride your bike around town without worry, or play with all the other kids running around in the streets. I enjoyed being a young kid there, swimming in creeks, eating wild berries, and sled riding like crazy. When I got older the lack of actual stimulation in the city began to become more apparent.
In fact, I would say the total boredom of the place was the number one factor in me deciding to try alcohol and marijuana! I had to do something to kill the time! I mean, when you've got nothing to do but watch TV and play video games, after a while you're gonna want to do something to enhance the mundane and repetitive. You get tired of going to the Country Club Mall(the only damned mall, and it's very sad), or the bowling alley, or the campgrounds, or the rival high school, Allegany, to bust out windows with rocks. After you've done that so many times, there isn't much else. Cumberland looks like the town in "Footloose", only we allowed dancing because the parents payed no attention to their kids(most of the parents were too busy getting drunk or stoned themselves).
The highlight of the Cumberland Times-News paper was the Local Police Log. It's such a small town full of substance abuse, that you can open the paper everyday and read about the drunken arrest of someone you knew. Welfare was also rampant, and there were three full scale projects: Jane Frazier Village, Fort Cumberland Homes, and Benjamin Banniker Apartments.
Most cities have about a half a dozen High Schools, it seems. We had Fort Hill(my school with the red and white colors), and Allegany(with the blue and white). Our school mascot was "The Sentinel" soldier. Theres was a "Camper"(yeah, what the f*ck is that?! An Indian). High school football dominated the little valley. Just like being able to find your dad's graduation picture, you could also find his football jersey retired in the gym. "Varsity Blues"-type pathetic local sports traditions of every boy in certain families being on the team.
Missing from this photo, are the two gymnasiums on the right, and the auditorium on the left
So, living in such outright nothingness was definitely a factor in my past behavior. My home life at the time, was also just as strong, but I'll talk about that later.
A poem: the bad-high-school-poem blueprint
(Alternate title: Every poem written by the depressed goth kid in art class)
Death grips my paralyzed body,
Your stares shatter my soul like a sheet of glass,
I can taste your pain, it's sweeter than mine,
Oh, how I hate working after school at Krispy Kreme
I walk alone in a world of smoke, surrounded by paper dolls,
My blood is cold and my thoughts are damp, like rag soaked in agony's water,
The smell of burning flesh is my companion through the furnace of life,
Someone scrathed my Cure CD, and I need a ride to the mall
Your minds are cancerous with the thought of conformity,
Individuality scares you out of your clothes from Old Navy,
My razor blade knows my essence more than anyone else,
Can you tell me where Drama Club meets?
Crumbling like stone under the weight of your deception,
Flying through the flames of hell, like a dragon of light,
Tasting the freedom of death through the chains of your love,
Can you feel my misery rising in my eyes?,
Can I borrow some black eyeliner, I'm all out!
Death grips my paralyzed body,
Your stares shatter my soul like a sheet of glass,
I can taste your pain, it's sweeter than mine,
Oh, how I hate working after school at Krispy Kreme
I walk alone in a world of smoke, surrounded by paper dolls,
My blood is cold and my thoughts are damp, like rag soaked in agony's water,
The smell of burning flesh is my companion through the furnace of life,
Someone scrathed my Cure CD, and I need a ride to the mall
Your minds are cancerous with the thought of conformity,
Individuality scares you out of your clothes from Old Navy,
My razor blade knows my essence more than anyone else,
Can you tell me where Drama Club meets?
Crumbling like stone under the weight of your deception,
Flying through the flames of hell, like a dragon of light,
Tasting the freedom of death through the chains of your love,
Can you feel my misery rising in my eyes?,
Can I borrow some black eyeliner, I'm all out!
Tax Returns
Anyone get their tax return yet?
Anyone make out like a bandit?
Anyone get ass-raped by Uncle Sam?
As for myself, I shall find out tomorrow!
Anyone make out like a bandit?
Anyone get ass-raped by Uncle Sam?
As for myself, I shall find out tomorrow!
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Pope Lord of the Sith
Pope's condition stabilizes
Pope John Paul II's condition stabilized this morning after overnight hospital treatment for an acute respiratory infection, a papal spokesman said. The pope will remain in the hospital "a few days," according to a Vatican radio report. "Today there is no reason to be alarmed," spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.(click on the above link for CNN's full story, and all things Pope!)
Maybe I'm just a complete bastard, but Pope John Paul II should be dead already! His resistance to "joining the light" has become very strong in recent years, and also extremely creepy to me. He's got to be doin' something "other-worldly" to stay alive at this point! Maybe he's found a way to suck the lifeforce out of young boys through a kind of perverted telepathy(that accusation was uncalled for, huh?).
Plus, am I the only one who's noticed his strange resemblance to the Emperor in the Star Wars trilogy?! Instead of battling through the Clone Wars, he's been working through the Priest/Abuse scandal(simply not as glamorous, but both involving evil men using their light sabers inappropriately).
I don't know, maybe it's wrong to feel this way. But I apologize for NOTHING!! I'm simply being honest when I say,"The Pope gives me the creeps. Die already!"
The Pope, as a Padawan learner
The Pope, after taking over the Federation armies
Pope John Paul II's condition stabilized this morning after overnight hospital treatment for an acute respiratory infection, a papal spokesman said. The pope will remain in the hospital "a few days," according to a Vatican radio report. "Today there is no reason to be alarmed," spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.(click on the above link for CNN's full story, and all things Pope!)
Maybe I'm just a complete bastard, but Pope John Paul II should be dead already! His resistance to "joining the light" has become very strong in recent years, and also extremely creepy to me. He's got to be doin' something "other-worldly" to stay alive at this point! Maybe he's found a way to suck the lifeforce out of young boys through a kind of perverted telepathy(that accusation was uncalled for, huh?).
Plus, am I the only one who's noticed his strange resemblance to the Emperor in the Star Wars trilogy?! Instead of battling through the Clone Wars, he's been working through the Priest/Abuse scandal(simply not as glamorous, but both involving evil men using their light sabers inappropriately).
I don't know, maybe it's wrong to feel this way. But I apologize for NOTHING!! I'm simply being honest when I say,"The Pope gives me the creeps. Die already!"
The Pope, as a Padawan learner
The Pope, after taking over the Federation armiesTuesday, February 1, 2005
King of Blogs
It seems someone signed me up for some kind of Blog contest(who was it? I've got no clue).
Competition isn't really my thing, so I'm planning on doing my normal thing and just having fun with it. We'll see what happens, and I hope to get some support from the regular visitors(that's right! all 2 of you!).
Hello,
I am writing to seek players for next weeks King of the Blogs tournament
that starts February 7. This is a great opportunity to get some
attention for your blog, and have some fun. If interested email me asap.
If not please email me anyways so I can seek another blog. The first 3
respondents are in, the rest are penciled in for the week after.
Here is full info for the contest:
Hello,
If you are receiving this email you have been chosen to participate in
the King of the Blogs Tournament. Congratulations. The tournament
begins the Monday of each week and will run one week. At the end of the
week
the judges will have their say and of you will be crowned King to
return the week after for the next tournament to defend the crown. The
other two will fade into obscurity, possibly to return one day for
another shot at glory.
********** Please respond to this email ASAP to complete your entry.
*************
The official rules can be found here:
http://kingofblogs.mu.nu/archives/058114.php
I will summarize a bit here:
1. All participants are required to add the following javascript to
their site (remove the space at the end before the slash)
2. Keep your tournament entries PG-13. If you need an explanation of
this let me know.
3. You will be scored on 3 things: your site, a post you submit to us
for judging from your blog, and an answer to a challenge question which
I will send out Sunday night. Your submitted post and answer to the
challenge question must be in my email box by 1:00 PM on Wednesday. I
will then send it out to the judges. They need to have their rulings
in to me by Sunday.
4. You can gain extra points to help your cause 2 different ways:
A. There will be a poll on the top of the page starting late Sunday
night that will have each of the blogs listed. It will end Friday
night. Whoever gets the most votes will gain 3 extra points, second
most votes will get 2 and third most will get 1. Drive the masses to
vote for you and you will be a little closer to the crown.
B. Ask other blogs to trackback to the main tournament post (it will
be up late Sunday night also) and mention their support for your blog
to win. Whoever gets the most trackbacks gets 3 points, second most 2
and third most 1. No trackbacks= no extra points. You trackbacking to
the post from your blog doesn't count. If you run multiple blogs those
other blogs don't count either.
Be sure to read the official rules also. Ignorance of the rules is no
defense later on.
Here is a run-down of the judges, hosts and the commissioner:
Commissioner:
The King of Fools http://www.king-of-fools.com/
Judges:
Bad Example http://badexample.mu.nu/
News from the Great Beyond http://songstress7.typepad.com/
Smarter Cop http://s88251339.onlinehome.us/smartercop/
Hosts:
ChristWeb http://www.mac-con.com/christweb/
Patriot Paradox http://www.patriot-paradox.com/
Finally a few hints:
1. As in any attempt at a crown bribery and backstabbing may be used.
This tournament is meant to be fun and if you are contacted by the
host in midstream asking questions be sure to play along. You are not
trying to win a beauty pageant, but a crown. Read The Prince and batten
down the hatches.
2. Humour works. Also reading and trying to know the judges well, as
well as the hosts and commissioner, may be a good strategy. Flattery
is permitted, and encouraged. Gratuitous linking, and self-linkage has
been known to go a long way.
3. Have fun. The rules are there to keep this running smoothly, but we
aren't going to be blowing a whistle and throwing a flag every few
seconds. We want this to be a success, and your blog to do well. Even
if you lose you are getting feedback, and links. Go with the flow,
wipe the mud off your face and return with a bigger army next time.
Once again this is a game. Let me stress: A GAME! Don't take
everything seriously except for the judges critiques. They have been
known to give great advice mixed in with humour and snarkiness. Have
fun, and laugh. Whining is not permitted, and whiners will be thrown
in the tower, and the royal key will be locked away.
Any questions?
Thanks,
Nick
--
Contact Info:
Nick *****
Email: patriot@patriot-paradox.com
Patriot Paradox: http://www.patriot-paradox.com
Competition isn't really my thing, so I'm planning on doing my normal thing and just having fun with it. We'll see what happens, and I hope to get some support from the regular visitors(that's right! all 2 of you!).
Hello,
I am writing to seek players for next weeks King of the Blogs tournament
that starts February 7. This is a great opportunity to get some
attention for your blog, and have some fun. If interested email me asap.
If not please email me anyways so I can seek another blog. The first 3
respondents are in, the rest are penciled in for the week after.
Here is full info for the contest:
Hello,
If you are receiving this email you have been chosen to participate in
the King of the Blogs Tournament. Congratulations. The tournament
begins the Monday of each week and will run one week. At the end of the
week
the judges will have their say and of you will be crowned King to
return the week after for the next tournament to defend the crown. The
other two will fade into obscurity, possibly to return one day for
another shot at glory.
********** Please respond to this email ASAP to complete your entry.
*************
The official rules can be found here:
http://kingofblogs.mu.nu/archives/058114.php
I will summarize a bit here:
1. All participants are required to add the following javascript to
their site (remove the space at the end before the slash)
2. Keep your tournament entries PG-13. If you need an explanation of
this let me know.
3. You will be scored on 3 things: your site, a post you submit to us
for judging from your blog, and an answer to a challenge question which
I will send out Sunday night. Your submitted post and answer to the
challenge question must be in my email box by 1:00 PM on Wednesday. I
will then send it out to the judges. They need to have their rulings
in to me by Sunday.
4. You can gain extra points to help your cause 2 different ways:
A. There will be a poll on the top of the page starting late Sunday
night that will have each of the blogs listed. It will end Friday
night. Whoever gets the most votes will gain 3 extra points, second
most votes will get 2 and third most will get 1. Drive the masses to
vote for you and you will be a little closer to the crown.
B. Ask other blogs to trackback to the main tournament post (it will
be up late Sunday night also) and mention their support for your blog
to win. Whoever gets the most trackbacks gets 3 points, second most 2
and third most 1. No trackbacks= no extra points. You trackbacking to
the post from your blog doesn't count. If you run multiple blogs those
other blogs don't count either.
Be sure to read the official rules also. Ignorance of the rules is no
defense later on.
Here is a run-down of the judges, hosts and the commissioner:
Commissioner:
The King of Fools http://www.king-of-fools.com/
Judges:
Bad Example http://badexample.mu.nu/
News from the Great Beyond http://songstress7.typepad.com/
Smarter Cop http://s88251339.onlinehome.us/smartercop/
Hosts:
ChristWeb http://www.mac-con.com/christweb/
Patriot Paradox http://www.patriot-paradox.com/
Finally a few hints:
1. As in any attempt at a crown bribery and backstabbing may be used.
This tournament is meant to be fun and if you are contacted by the
host in midstream asking questions be sure to play along. You are not
trying to win a beauty pageant, but a crown. Read The Prince and batten
down the hatches.
2. Humour works. Also reading and trying to know the judges well, as
well as the hosts and commissioner, may be a good strategy. Flattery
is permitted, and encouraged. Gratuitous linking, and self-linkage has
been known to go a long way.
3. Have fun. The rules are there to keep this running smoothly, but we
aren't going to be blowing a whistle and throwing a flag every few
seconds. We want this to be a success, and your blog to do well. Even
if you lose you are getting feedback, and links. Go with the flow,
wipe the mud off your face and return with a bigger army next time.
Once again this is a game. Let me stress: A GAME! Don't take
everything seriously except for the judges critiques. They have been
known to give great advice mixed in with humour and snarkiness. Have
fun, and laugh. Whining is not permitted, and whiners will be thrown
in the tower, and the royal key will be locked away.
Any questions?
Thanks,
Nick
--
Contact Info:
Nick *****
Email: patriot@patriot-paradox.com
Patriot Paradox: http://www.patriot-paradox.com
A poem: Apt. I-4
(Alternate title: The nosey old bitch in the apartment below me)
Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,
I'm not gonna rape you, crazy old bitch!
I hate your dog, he looks like a ball of lint with teeth,
I hate your glasses, did you steal them from an Elton John auction?,
I hate your robe, it's baby blue and looks like shit,
I hate your head, you look like George Burns!
Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,
I live in the fuckin' building, crazy old bitch!
No, I didn't hear the loud party last night,
No, I don't know who pissed in front of your door,
No, I don't know whose truck that is,
No, we didn't play my stereo until 3 am, I was in bed at 10 pm
Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,
If you don't quit staring at me, I'm gonna RAPE your old ass!
Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,
I'm not gonna rape you, crazy old bitch!
I hate your dog, he looks like a ball of lint with teeth,
I hate your glasses, did you steal them from an Elton John auction?,
I hate your robe, it's baby blue and looks like shit,
I hate your head, you look like George Burns!
Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,
I live in the fuckin' building, crazy old bitch!
No, I didn't hear the loud party last night,
No, I don't know who pissed in front of your door,
No, I don't know whose truck that is,
No, we didn't play my stereo until 3 am, I was in bed at 10 pm
Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,
If you don't quit staring at me, I'm gonna RAPE your old ass!
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