It's been so long since I've done something like this for the blog though, and I think it might be fun to write some original material again. So, here is the first episode of...
SETTING: Chicago Suburb, Evening, The Gowan Residence
SCENE: The Gowan's are lying in bed reading
Gary Gowan: Are you ready for bed?
Jill Gowan: I'm almost finished with this chapter.
Gary: How many more pages?
Jill: Why?
Gary: Because I can't sleep when the lights are on, you know that.
Jill: Turn your light off and go to sleep then.
Gary: Your light has to be off too.
(Jill closes her book and puts it on the night stand)
Jill: (huffs) Fine then! Let's go to bed. Will that make you happy, Gary?
Gary: Yes, Jill, it would.
(Jill turns off her light. They both lay in the dark for a moment in silence)
Gary: Now what?
Jill: Well, now I can't sleep!
Gary: Just close your eyes... shut your mind... concentrate on nothing... concentrate on the silence...
(Gary farts)
Jill: Oh great. That really helps.
Gary: Does it?
(Gary farts again)
Gary: (smiling) Sorry, babe. Do you want me to roll over?
Jill: Yes, Gary! Roll over! Roll over and die!
Gary: Now you're just being a brat. I bet you wouldn't hate it so much if you gave it a chance.
Jill: Excuse me?!
Gary: Gave it a chance. You might be a freak, Jill. You might get turned on by it. You know. Like this!
(Gary pulls the covers over Jills head and lets one rip)
Gary: It's called a "Dutch oven"!
Jill: You dirty son of a bitch!(coughs)
Gary: Damn! That one kind of hurt.
Jill: (coughs) I can taste it!!! (coughs) You bastard!!!
Gary: I had a glass of orange juice and a boiled egg for lunch.
(Jill slowly begins to wiggle less and less under the sheet)
Gary: Playing dead, Jill? (laughing) That's a good one!
(Jill stops moving completely)
(silence)
Gary: Jill? ...Jill?
(Gary lifts the sheet and looks at Jill)
Gary: Jill?!
(fade out)
NEXT SCENE: Jill's funeral
Preacher: Jill was a warm and caring woman...
(TO BE CONTINUED...)
Now, I'm sure after reading that you're wondering what exactly the premise is. Well, Gary evaluates his life after the death of his wife, Jill, and decides to finally stand up to his older brother and father by competing against the rest of the family in the Hot Dog Stand business in Chicago.
I know. It's completely retarded, but I think that's what I like about it and I plan to go forward with it for awhile. I think once the characters of his father and brother come into the picture, it will get a lot more interesting.
Tags: Humor television comedy
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