Cotton Top sighting

The scientific name is "constantus-turn-signalus", or the more commonly used "Cotton Top". An elderly driver with the nimble and agile reflexes of a drunken rhino.

I spotted this one on the way home wandering to and fro. She was in no big hurry to get to the end of the road. Why hurry? The speed limit is only 35mph. I mean, why we're at it why don't we drive... 25mph! After all, we're only on our way to look at the extensive collection of pantyhose at Walgreens.

Sh*t!

But just because we're driving at 25 in a 35 doesn't mean we need to come to a smooth stop. If we're going to have fun we need to apply the brakes suddenly when we're 10 to 15 feet from the car in front of us. As a Cotton Top we need to confuse and frighten anyone within 100 yards of our death machine, er... vehicle.

I HATE OLD PEOPLE!!!

I'm sorry, I take that back. I hate elderly people with access to personal transportation.

Why aren't these people in a hurry?! If anyone should be in a rush it should be them. The Grim Reaper of Death is only within arms reach of you! You need to move your ass! He could get a hand inside the back of your shirt collar and pull you down at any moment! Run, dammit, run! You're never gonna make it to Goody's in time for the wool dress suit sale!

And while you're doing that, get out of my way or take the damn bus!

(sighs) Thank you.