Wild Boyz!

I was sitting around trying to think of some kind of ridiculous argument to support, when it hit me. Straight guys like gay stuff! Let me explain.

I've noticed during my life as an american male, that most heterosexual men don't like to do anything or participate in any activity that might call their manhood into question. Now, after stating this observation, I've also noticed that these same men choose to entertain themselves with highly homo-erotic programming.



Example no. 1: Pro Football

Now, football itself, is not gay. But, patting another guy on the ass for making a good play is just not necessary. Neither is all the towel snapping in the locker room. Why this isn't gay, I don't know. It sure don't seem straight to me!



Example no 2: Pro Wrestling

I enjoy nothing more than watching a good fake fight, but sometimes it can get a little... gay. Two oiled men pressed together, fighting for dominance over the other. Pin him to the floor, and make him squeeeaaalll like a pig!




Example no 3: The guys on Jackass and Wild Boyz!

I'm sorry, but those guys are all a little gay. I don't get together with my pals, and attach electrodes to their gooches! Or sit around in jock straps trying to lightly tag each other in the dick with golf balls. If that isn't gay... well, that isn't gay. It's just WRONG!



I don't understand it exactly. I think there's some kind of invisible line between gay, and straight-guy public displays of affection. I don't really care, I just thought it might be funny to point out macho men getting all up on each other.

Julia Roberts Gives Birth To Twins

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Actress Julia Roberts gave birth to twins Sunday morning, her publicist told CNN.

Roberts, who is married to cinematographer Daniel Moder, delivered Hazel Patricia Moder and Phinnaeus Walter Moder at a hospital in Southern California, said Marcy Engleman.

"Mother and babies are doing great," she said.

Roberts, 37, married Moder two years ago.

Roberts was born in Smyrna, Georgia, and attained fame in 1990 for her portrayal of a prostitute in the sentimental romantic comedy "Pretty Woman."

Ten years later, she won the Academy Award for best actress and a Golden Globe for best actress in a drama for her work in "Erin Brockovich." (I love the way this story is written. If you read it out loud to yourself, it sounds like someone at CNN has a sense of humor.)




SS9090 has obtained this exclusive photograph of Julia's son, Phinnaeus



Hazel and Phinnaeus Moder- two more celebrity children scarred for life... at the beginning of their lives! Nice names, Mom (you simple, bitch)!

My Profile Picture

It's funny how "christ-like" you can look by tracing over a picture in Paint! Although, I've never looked more Mexican than this (which, I am not). It's also amazing what can be accomplished by a person during a period of sheer boredom!

VH1's Most Cheesetastic Video Tricks Revealed

VH1 goes to the film library to make yet another List Show. Just when I think they've done it all, they pull out a Heavy Metal List Show (Metal on VH1? Why?), or their 80s Retrosexual List Show. If your too young to reminise about Tom Selleck, then you've always got Best Week Ever (Hey remember how popular that movie was... last weekend?!).

Here is a breakdown of the first three hours of Cheesetastic programming, which starts tonight, Saturday 10/9c.



Hip Hop Rules (Hour 1)



52 Hundred Pick Up

Artists throw their money in the air like they just don't care.

LL Cool J "Head Sprung"

Lloyd Banks "I'm So Fly"

Missy Elliot "Work It"

Mase "Feels So Good"

Jermaine Dupri "Money Ain't A Thing"



Angry Face

Rappers put on an "angry face" ... to show how tough they are!

Ice Cube "Natural Born Killers"

Snoop Dog "Lay Low"

Xzibit "X"

DMX "What's My Name"



Scarface

Artists pay homage to their favorite Al Pacino flick.

Big Pun "I'm Not A Player"

Fat Joe "Don Cartegena"

Nas "The World Is Yours"

Mobb Deep "It's Mine"



Video Vixen Rules (Hour 2)



Slo-Mo Hair

Girls flip their locks in that oh-so-sexy manner.

White Stripes "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself"

No Doubt "Underneath It All"

Jermain Dupri "Money Ain't A Thing"



Hot Girls On Cars

What's hotter than a video vixen? A video vixen writhing on top of an expensive car!

Warrant "Cherry Pie"

White Snake "Here I Go Again"

Bowling Soup "1985"



The Pole Dance

The classic stripper dance always adds a dash of sexiness.

Dr. Dre "The Next Episode"

Fountains of Wayne "Stacy's Mom"

White Stripes "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself"

Mötley Crüe "Girls, Girls, Girls"



Drummer Rules (Hour 3)



The Mug

Drummers make their funniest faces once they get their close up.

Def Leppard "Pour Some Sugar On Me"

Aerosmith "Dude Looks Like A Lady"



Stick Twirl

Take advantage of your camera time and twirl those sticks!

Mötley Crüe "Home Sweet Home"

Tom Petty "Into the Great Wide Open"

Bon Jovi "Livin' on A Prayer"



Drum Fillings

Drums look so boring on TV, so fill 'em with liquid, powder, or whatever you got!

J. Geils Band "Angel In A Centerfold"

Poison "I Want Action"

Samantha Fox "Touch Me"

Warrant "Cherry Pie



Personally, I think VH1 is really reaching here to fill airtime. I mean, come on, drum filling?! Who the hell has done that since the death of Hair Metal?! Actually, they always exaggerate on their List Shows, like calling hugely popular songs "awesomely bad" simply because it's become dated ( FYI: that's gonna happen when a pop song hits a decade). How sad and snobbish, in my opinion... of course, I'll watch this list anyway (I'm a sellout).

California Neighbors Feud Over Christmas Display

'Tis the season...



Some folks love the Holidays way too much, and others despise them too much, also. I saw this story while chillin' on the web, and thought it was kind of cute, in a "bad made-for-television Disney channel-style family comedy" kind of way.

Black Friday

The day after Thanksgiving is the day that I sleep off my turkey and stuffing dinner, then watch some terrible basic cable television. (I enjoyed the American Chopper marathon yesterday. Paul Sr. is such a hard-ass, and don't get me started about the hilarious hijinx of his son, Mikey!) For others, however, it's the day that "Consumer Retardation" sets in. Below is a tale of horror for most men who are as self-absorbed as me. Read at your own caution.



Americans storm the nation's shops on Friday after Thanksgiving Day marking the traditional start of the holiday shopping season, lured by cut-price toys and discounted consumer electronics.



FACT: Thanksgiving-to-Christmas holiday shopping season accounts for 23 percent of annual retail sales.



By the time a Wal-Mart store in the Buffalo, N.Y. suburb of Hamburg opened its doors at 6 a.m., 1,000 people had formed a lined that spanned the entire store front, despite temperatures of 31 degrees.

"It's our tradition," said Ruth Pompeo, of Lackawanna, N.Y, who was up at 3 a.m. and in line by 4:30 a.m. with her 11-year-old niece Shelby Strack. "I don't know what I'm here to grab, actually, " she said. "Whatever I can."

Many of the early bird specials on hot items were in short supply, however. At another Wal-Mart store in Alpharetta, Ga., just north of Atlanta, a supply of discounted Video Now personal video players sold out in just 12 minutes.

That's why many shoppers mapped out a strategy to get the most coveted bargains.

"The deals are better this early in the morning," said Karen Dawkins, from Cayce, S.C., who was at a Toys R Us store in Columbia, S.C. and was almost done with her buying shortly after 6 a.m. "I have my mother at Circuit City and my sister at Target ...so we have people stationed at other stores."

She added, "We all got together after Thanksgiving dinner and got the ads and made a list."

Debbie Redmon of Thayer, Mo., set her alarm for 3:20 a.m. but woke up at 3 a.m., ready to take advantage of bargain shopping in Little Rock, Ark.

"I guess the adrenaline was flowing," she said.

She and daughter-in-law Kerri Littleton of Benton, Ark., hit the same places in Little Rock every year: BestBuy, then Kohl's, Staples, then Sports Authority.

Things weren't going as well in the cold and rainy Midwest. In Bismarck, N.D., only about 100 people were in line at Wal-Mart by 4:30 a.m., a half hour before opening, compared with several hundred last year.

Many of the Wal-Mart shoppers said they wanted to by a 24-inch flat-screen Symphonic television, on sale for $139.92.






"Video games and movies are the No. 1 seller with a lots of new games out this year," said Patrick Gates, senior vice president of e-commerce at America Online, a unit of Time Warner Inc.

Yahoo! Shopping said the top items sought on its site were digital cameras, running shoes and IPods, but home furnishings and apparel were in more demand than a year ago.

Retailers' efforts last year to get shoppers to buy early worked.

During the 2003 holiday shopping season, the busiest day was the Friday after Thanksgiving, instead of the last Saturday before Christmas, which was the second busiest day, according to the International Council of Shopping Centers. That reversed a trend seen over the last ten years, when the busiest day was the Saturday before Christmas, according to Mike Niemira, chief economist at the industry group.

WWE 24/7

I've been saying they should create an all-pro-wrestling channel for years! I guess somebody else felt the same way because now there's WWE 24/7.


Some of the current guys on WWE's Monday Night Raw on Spike TV



World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has recently launched the first Professional Wrestling cable channel. It's only available on digital cable, and runs programming from WWE, WWF, WCW, NWA, and ECW film libraries. There's also supposed to be original programming like Hall Of Fame shows, etc.

Maybe, I'll quit being so cheap and get digital cable now? Of course, that would mean my local cable company actually picks it up, which would surprise me entirely.I am a very avid Pro Wrestling fan myself. (Yes, I know it's fake. I watch it for the athletic exhibition, and crazy late night soap opera storylines. If you don't get it, you just don't get it.) If I could, I would be very content to watch grown men in their underwear beat each other senseless 24 hours a day! (That last sentence sounded kind of weird. I meant that in the most masculine way possible... like a viking!)



note: Vikings were actually so vain they preferred to have sex with each other, instead of with the women. Hmm, interesting. Let me call my Therapist, I'm getting confused.

Some new additions to SS9090

Well, Thanksgiving is now sadly behind us, but the leftovers will last a lifetime. My refrigerator is completely filled with all the essentials to make myself meals for days. I suppose I don't actually need so much food, but what else am I going to do with? Send it to Somalia?! (laughs for ten minutes and sighs)

And since we're in the season to give thanks, I decided it was time to give thanks for the many blogs out there that I read and entertain me so much. You'll notice on the righthand sidebar in the Blogs, Livejournals, Etc. section that there are some new faces. No Milk Please, Shut Up Ed, and Thoughts Of Mike. I find all three of these guys to be clever writers, entertaining personalities, and "better than the average blogger".

Which is also how I feel about my first Blog link, Kirk's Blog: My So-Called Strife. I believe Kirk's blog actually already has links to a couple of these blogs, but I don't because I'm so damned lazy. (actually, Kirk has more Blog links than I have Blog Entries!)

Also, a new addition to the Blog is my latest entry into the Hall Of Fame. The Marx Bros.



(click to enlarge)


(top to bottom)Chico, Harpo, Groucho, and Zeppo Marx



I shouldn't have to say why they're Hall of Famers because if you don't know why... well, I just can't help you with that. I have plans for some more Hall Of Famers but haven't made my "final cuts" just yet. There are just too many people who have had a remarkable impact on pop culture, so it isn't easy.

So, after saying all that, I fully encourage all my readers, Bloggers and Bloggettes out there to check out these other MVP Bloggers.

Food For The Holidays

Man! I love Thanksgiving sooo much! It's of course, the day of the year where we celebrate the spirit of Chris Farley, and John Candy, by trying to look like them by the end of dinner. Seriously though, I truly believe Thanksgiving is strictly a national excuse to become a big fat sweaty pig without any guilt. I can't say that I don't become one myself, but at least I admit what I'm doing... stuffing my face for the sheer pleasure of it.



A Small Scene...



Mom: You know what Thanksgiving is about right, Mikey?

(Mikey, a 165 lb. eight year-old rips another leg off the turkey)

Mikey: It's about eating Turkey, right Mom?

Mom: No, silly. It's about the Pilgrims and Indians, and giving thanks.

(Mikey laughs maniacly from his specially reinforced chair, Reminiscant of Jabba the Hut)

Mikey: Oh Mom! You make me laugh, you crazy bitch!

(Mikey burps up a license plate, and drinks another glass of gravy)



Sometimes, the food is so good that when I take a bite of turkey, I cum at the dinner table.

"Aw, god! Aw, yeah! Someone give me a tissue... for my penis that is." Just kidding. But honestly, I hope most people don't go overboard. Like when guys unbuckle their pants, or say "I feel sleepy now, I need to take a nap."

Fat Fuckers.






That goes for me, too!

Brawny Paper Towel Man

(Why did so many late 70s - mid 80s TV shows have that ugly yellow font for their title sequences?)



I was watching VH1's 80s Retrosexual today, and was reminded of the awesome power of Tom Selleck's facial hair (one of Hollywood's greatest mustaches). I remember how my Dad rocked the "Magnum P.I." look back in the day, with amazing success. Just thought I'd pay a small tribute to an era of "wholesome sleaziness" no longer attempted. Maybe someday we'll see it return... but I doubt it.

This Week In Sports!

Indiana-Detroit Brawl

Ron Artest benched for the rest of the season






Things sure have changed from when I was a kid, and Michael Jordan was playing. Nowadays, the players in the NBA will give you more than autograph! They'll give you a scar with a folding chair! I heard on the radio that more than half the active players in the NBA right now are convicted felons. I don't know how accurate that statement is, but if it's anywhere near close, things are getting pretty sad.

Then the Players League says that the punishments were too harsh! I thought they were lucky to be allowed to keep their jobs. I really shouldn't complain since I don't remember the last time I watched an entire NBA game anyway. The game has gotten kinda boring to watch the last couple of years, so maybe they should add halftime fistfights to spice things up.

Ron Artest also has a CD coming out which he describes as "love songs". As I watched Artest try to break the face of a Pistons fan with his knuckles, I thought to myself "He should do an album of love songs... he's so full of passion!"

Thanksgiving or Christmas: The Prequel?

Well, folks... Thanksgiving is almost here. And I can't help but notice a disturbing trend. It's something that's crept up on all of us, and it's gotten worse over the past few years. It's the early full frontal assault of Christmas. We haven't even had "Turkey Day" yet, and it feels like Santa Claus has been here since the kids went back to school! I saw plastic reindeer and ugly baby jesus' at Wal-Mart before Halloween for God's sake!

Now, I have nothing against Christmas(It's actually my favorite time of year), but this is getting out of hand. I remember a time when people didn't even think about Thanksgiving until the day after Halloween. No one thought about all the crazy decorations and over-priced shopping that is Christmas until after Thanksgiving. Not anymore! I don't know what's stupider, stores selling this shit at this time of year, or the assholes who must be buying it?

Maybe I'm just too sentimental? Maybe I shouldn't complain so much? Whatever, man. It just shows how ridiculous we've gotten in this country. I love it, and I'm not gonna leave it, but I WILL NOT be putting up any stockings, or lights until I've had my turkey, and stuffing(Stove Top stuffing, mmm). I WILL NOT be getting an ugly-ass Santa Claus for the lawn before Halloween!






I don't care how hard Ol' Saint Nick tries to FUCK my jack o' lantern. Or how hard he tries to artifically inseminate my turkey. I won't bow down to this retarded shit. In fact, if I ever run into Santa on the street, I'll shove a candy cane up his ass sideways, and make him walk through my local mall so he can see what he's done to the world I live in!

What the Hell Happened to Me?!

Man, I don't know! I used to be a machine, able to a write a full and enjoyable post in a mere matter of minutes. A picture of a retarded kid and a snappy one-liner, some story on the news about someone getting arrested for beastiality and my own insight about the love between man and beast, or just a short story about a boy having his period. All classic material, I haven't lived up to recently, in my own opinion. Lately, I haven't been on in days. I haven't even really tried to put anything new on here since Monday! I've become a mass of laziness, and a shell of my former glory. I've gotten fat and high off my fame and started wearing sequined jump suits, shooting out televisions with my gold plated revolvers (oh, wait that's Elvis. My bad).

This is the part where I make excuses for myself, if you don't want to hear my lame reasons for not updating, please skip this paragraph now. Now... my job lately has been insane! I work as a land surveyor (one of those morons on the side of the road looking through a telescope at another moron, and not someone who calls you at dinner asking you questions about how you feel about the President). I've been sent to small towns to do work on new waterline layouts, and to work locally on a construction site for a 26 story condo, which some of the construction workers say they wouldn't even walk in when it's done because of all the mistakes being made in the foundation (e-mail me if you ever stay in Panama City Beach, FL - so I can tell which hotel not to stay in). Not to mention, that I'm out of the town this weekend at my Sister-in-laws, where I don't have all my usual weapons of mass blogging at my disposal (I'm typing this at her house right now).

And on top of that, we have... THE HOLIDAYS!!! I love Thanksgiving and Christmas, but family will drive you crazy this time of year. My Mother-in-law actually gave my Wife her Christmas present to hang on to, and wrap for herself for Christmas (I wouldn't try to make sense of it or your head might explode). Plus the woman can't cook very well, but insists that we have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner at her house, but my Wife (who CAN cook) will be preparing most of the food!

Oh GOD, in heaven... when I finally meet you face-to-face, you better have some answers!

In Memory of Ol' Dirty Bastard

ODB just passed away this weekend, and I was saddened to hear it. Not because he was a really great person, or even very talented. He was just very entertaining to me. Especially back in the day, in middle school, when I got a kick out of playing obsene music in the presence of my Mother. Plus, he was just a crazy motherfucker. I can't say I was surprised he died so soon. I think I was more shocked when Ray Charles passed away. Nevertheless, it was a downer to here.




from MTV.com

Rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard Dies 11.13.2004 Sources close to ODB said he had been complaining of chest pains earlier in the day.



Ol' Dirty Bastard, a founding member of the Wu-Tang Clan and one of the most eccentric personalities in hip-hop, died of unknown causes on Saturday in New York. He would have turned 36 on Monday.



The rapper, whose real name was Russell Tyrone Jones, was having difficulty breathing and complained of chest pains earlier in the day, according to his spokesperson.



Dirty was at Wu-Tang's studio, 36 Records LLC on West 34th Street, when he collapsed in the lounge at approximately 4:35 p.m. on Saturday. EMS workers rushed to the scene but were unable to resuscitate him and he was pronounced dead at 5:04 p.m., according to a spokesperson for the city medical examiner's office.



An autopsy conducted Sunday morning revealed no conclusive results. Toxicology and tissue tests will be administered and the cause of death is expected to be known within 10 days.



Jarred Weisfeld, ODB's manager, said that the rapper was entirely drug free and that he was committed to getting his life back on track. "He was the complete opposite of what people made him out to be. He was a teddy bear," Weisfeld told MTV News.

Candy Man

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A Tribute To My Readers

I just wanted to do something to show my appreciation to all the readers, fans, bloggers and bloggettes out there that give me the reason to keep doing this thing. Thank you - Norrin Radd (SilverSurfer9090)

The Gods Must Be Crazy! - Scott Peterson Gets "Certafied"

Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? - What's the world coming to when an upper middle class white male can't even get away with double murder?!

Beetlejuice!

Just a reminder for everyone to go out and get their Beetlejuice DVD!

Fall TV Line-Up

This fall, a new show comes to television that will make you believe in miracles...



(click to enlarge)


Glenn Flavin: Handi-capable Pimp.

"The Hammer" puts a little "gimp", back in "pimp".



Check your local listings for time and channel.

Minelli Demands Penis, World Applauds

Bodyguard: Liza Made Me Have Sex With Her

Thursday, November 11, 2004



NEW YORK- Liza Minnelli's bodyguard claims the Oscar-winning actress made him have sex with her in order to keep his job, according to recently unsealed court documents.

The allegations are detailed in M'Hammed Soumayah's $100 million lawsuit against the entertainer. Minnelli's lawyers did not return calls for comment Wednesday. But in a court document, one of her lawyers said Soumayah had "commenced this action in a quick sand of untruths and misstatements" and accused him of a "shakedown" of her client.

In the lawsuit, Soumayah, 56, accused Minnelli of assault and battery, breach of contract, withholding payment for services rendered and sexual harassment.

Although the suit was filed Sept. 30 in Manhattan's state Supreme Court and sealed by Justice Barbara Kapnick, she unsealed it late Tuesday over the objections of Minnelli's lawyers.

Also Tuesday, Minnelli, 58, sued Soumayah for $250,000, alleging breach of contract and breach of fiduciary duty. The two-page filing contained no details.

In the newly unsealed court papers, Soumayah, married and the father of two, says he began working for Minnelli in 1994 and was paid $238,000 a year.

While working for her, Soumayah was coerced by Minnelli to have sex, his court papers say. "After many repeated attempts by Minnelli to compel (Soumayah) to have sex with her, (he) eventually succumbed," the papers say.

He also alleges she beat him "repeatedly."








"Fearing loss of his lucrative job, plaintiff tolerated Minnelli's violent outbursts and did not complain about them to her or anyone else," the suit says.

Soumayah's court papers say he signed a confidentiality agreement in 2003 because he was threatened with firing if he refused. He said it was to be in effect only while he worked for the star.

In an affidavit explaining that agreement, Minnelli says: "I am not ungrateful for my celebrity status. But I think I deserve, as does everyone, some right to privacy."

The affidavit, filed in an effort to persuade the judge to keep the bodyguard's suit sealed, asks the judge to enforce the agreement and "protect me from scandal, which is clearly being used to completely embarrass me."

Minnelli's estranged husband, David Gest, has also accused Minnelli of assault in a $10 million lawsuit against her. Minnelli is suing Gest for allegedly stealing $2 million from her, and both are suing each other for divorce.

Fahrenheit 2: Electric Boogaloo

Moore to Shoot 'Fahrenheit' Sequel




"I'm so mad, I only ate four times today!"



Thursday, November 11, 2004



LOS ANGELES- Michael Moore plans a follow-up to "Fahrenheit 9/11," his hit documentary that assails President Bush over the handling of the Sept. 11 attacks and the war on terrorism, according to a Hollywood trade paper.



Moore told Daily Variety that he and Harvey Weinstein, the Miramax boss who produced the film, hope to have "Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2" ready in two to three years.

"Fifty-one percent of the American people lacked information [in this election] and we want to educate and enlighten them," Moore was quoted in Thursday's edition of Variety. "They weren't told the truth. We're communicators and it's up to us to start doing it now."



A spokesman for Fellowship Adventure Group, formed by Weinstein and brother Bob to help distribute "Fahrenheit 9/11," did not immediately return a call seeking comment.

"Fahrenheit 9/11," which won top honors at last May's Cannes Film Festival, became the first documentary to top $100 million at the domestic box office. Moore, who won the documentary Academy Award for "Bowling for Columbine," is pushing "Fahrenheit 9/11" in the best-picture category for the upcoming Oscars.

The issues for the follow-up film will remain the same, Iraq and terrorism, Moore said.



"The official mourning period is over today and there is a silver lining: George W. Bush is prohibited by law from running again," Moore said.

Puff Daddy's Birthday Bash

Inside P. Diddy's Birthday Blowout

This is the fuck-stick who used an auto-dialer with a shitty recording to call my house more than once before the election. After reading this story, I've come to realize that he is very pious and humble in his economically successful crimes against "The Arts"(that was sarcasm, of course). It also confirms that my hatred is not being wasted or pointed in the wrong direction.



Nobody has ever accused Sean "P. Diddy" Combs of doing anything the small, elegant way.



His 35th birthday party last night should have been called "The Sweet Smell of Excess."



If nothing else it proves that the rap impresario — who cannot sing, dance or act — is a phenomenon unto himself and has perfected life as a post-millennial Jay Gatsby.



More than 1,500 of Combs' closest friends packed themselves into Cipriani's ballroom last night — the same place where Combs celebrated his birthday five years ago. The event was an elegant black-tie affair , although not everyone adhered to the letter of the law.



Mariah Carey came in a white Vera Wang wedding dress with flowing tulle and sported a diamond tiara. Vivica A. Fox wore a flowing gown and diamonds from a Toronto designer. A tuxedo-wearing Tony Danza looked sheepish when I asked him if he didn't have to get up early to do his show the next morning.





Also spotted in the perfect sea of beautiful — and I mean gorgeous — supermodels and young women with long, long legs: George Hamilton, Ben Chaplin, Carson Daly, Guy Oseary, Jay-Z, Nia Long, Usher, Bruce Willis, Ingrid Casares, Clive Davis, Rocco DiSpirito, Suzanne Bartsch and David Barton, art dealer Tony Shafrazi and, of course, the ubiquitous Paris Hilton.



Supermodel Frederique, dolled up for the occasion, sat in the lap of nightclub owner Amy Sacco. Universal Music Group chief Doug Morris, with Island/Def Jam's L.A. Reid, kept an eye on Mariah and on the enormous cost of the party.



"Do you have to pay for this?" I asked Morris, who was accompanied by his new Motown chief Sylvia Rhone.



"I hope not," Morris shot back.



Who exactly was paying might have been a question that crossed people's minds as more than a dozen gussied-up violinists greeted people in the entryway. Once inside, huge video screens projected film clips of Combs' life while giant pictures of him as a boy with his late father adorned the cavernous room.



The ballroom itself was flanked by raised levels where guests could congregate as they watched the dance floor. Later, curtains on the levels were pulled back to reveal beds, booths and water-filled porcelain bathtubs. Higher video screens flashed the words "KING DIDDY."



Was there a cake, you ask? Were there hookers, acrobats and go-go dancers? Yes, to all of the above.



I don't remember anyone singing "Happy Birthday," but at some point Combs was treated to a musical number when some long-legged dancers climbed out of a gigantic cardboard cake and serenaded him with "Hey, Big Spender." At the end they altered the lyrics to "Hey P. Diddy."



Combs was flanked by his criminal-defense attorney Ben Brafman, his regular lawyer Kenny Meiselas and, of course, his mother Janice Combs.



Who and what we didn't see: Ron Burkle, "Vote or Die" shirts, Fonzworth Bentley, Lil' Kim or Mase.



Who and what we did see: ice sculptures with the P. Diddy logo, Denise Rich, and Donna Karan fresh from the Ovarian Cancer Research dinner in Chelsea, where she honored Trudie Styler.



By 2 a.m. the crowd was going strong, the lights were nearly out and the thud of bass reverberated off the marble in what used to be a bank. Doug E. Fresh, calling out raps and emceeing for the night from above the stage where Combs and about 300 people milled about, took the hour to make a political speech. "[Expletive deleted] Bush!" he cried over and over. The crowd, swathed in anonymity, echoed the sentiment.



Oh, how poetic and inspiring to my political spirit... as I've said before, Burn In Hell!!!

It's Over! Bush Wins Re-Election

Well, now that we have chosen our President, I don't want to hear about, discuss, or even think about the issues, differences or problems in our country for a good long while. I need some peace and quiet now. Besides, if people didn't make this election year so damned personal( I won't name names), it wouldn't have been so painful anyway. Which, is why I believe John Kerry lost, when no one really liked George W. Bush. Celebrity hatred for a politician is about as appetizing to the public as Ben Affleck's body of work. This is my last sentence on this shit. Thank you.

Norrin Radd: The Return!

Hi Bloggers and Bloggettes! This is my first post in 7 DAYS! There are two reasons why I have been gone so long.

The first reason: My job. I was sent to Carrabelle, Florida this week to do a survey for a new water line(oh, the excitement). Carrabelle has nice people, but it was a little too much like the town in My Cousin Vinny.

The second: My Birthday! As of November the 3rd, I am 23. I got home from work at 5:30 p.m. on Thursday, and was welcomed by a birthday dinner by my wife, Crystal. BBQ ribs, corn, creamed spinach, mac and cheese, and a salad. Washed it down with a tall glass of sweet tea!(my wife is the best)

And of course, cake and ice cream! I'll try not to go so long without a "wassup" post. Thank you, Bloggers and Bloggettes!