To say a "family" lived there is actually a bit of a stretch. A woman who worked the graveyard shift at a nursing home, and had three dysfunctional children, lived there. Her kids were all pretty much alcoholics and going nowhere in life. But, at the time neither was the rest of us so we were the best of friends. Let me quickly run through the cast.
Joel was a skinny teenager who seemed to go in or come out of Juvenile Hall every six months, usually for petty theft (stealing cigarettes, shoes, clothes). He never went to school since he had dropped out at 16, and he wore the same damned clothes every day that I knew him. He wore baggy pants, but didn't own a belt. So, Joel walked around with one hand always in his pocket. Not because he was cool, but because he was holding up his pants. I used to tell Joel that he was like f*ckin' human cartoon character since his outfit NEVER changed. He didn't care.
Then there was Joel's older half-brother, Jeremy. You knew they were half-brothers the moment you saw them because Joel looked like a coked-up Howdy Doody and Jeremy looked like Cheech Marin if he had done hard time. Plus, Jeremy was a hardcore drunk. If he wasn't inebriated his hands would shake and his eyes looked like two black marbles. Shark's eyes. Plus, the f*cker was always broke. I remember one time when we were going to buy some brews on a Friday night. He said ,"What are you gettin'?"
I told Jeremy I was gonna get a $30 bottle of Bacardi Rum. He walked across the living room and threw a crinkled up $1 bill in my lap. "Well, I'm chipping in. Here's my part," he said as serious as an alcoholic with a dollar bill and no booze trying to get the hook-up.
Jeremy was a blatant bottle hog, and the son of a bitch had done this to me before. "Um, I was just buyin' for me, tonight," I told the unemployed bastard.
As soon as the words had left my mouth, he had snatched his dollar back as if it were a sheet of paper in Water World. "F*CK YOU THEN... bitch," he said in his Ice Cube/Boyz N The Hood delivery.
And last, but not least was Joel's sister Amber, the oldest child, and the most ridiculous one. That girl would get drunker than most of us, and usually pass out somewhere. We got so use to having to transport her lifeless and slightly chubby body from bathroom floor to car, or cab to house, or just from bathroom to hallway so people could piss, that it never even seemed odd to us to have to grab her by her arms and legs, carry her with the care of a sack of assholes, and drop her somewhere else, usually followed by the sound of her head bouncing off the hardwood floor like a basketball. She was also a very flirtatious drunk, which is why I believe every guy that hung out with us, with the exception of Joel and Jeremy, had kissed her at least once. I remember offering her a dollar to see her chest in broad daylight in front of her house, and not being disappointed. I still didn't give her the dollar.
But those were the people I was hanging out with along with my usual friends Freddy, Matt, Gino, John, Jeremy C., and a few others who I'll have to discuss later. Especially Jeremy C.
(To be continued....)
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