:::Two old ladies sit out in front of a nursing home:::
Agnes: I can’t wait to die, May!
May: Don’t talk like that, Agnes. You got plenty to live for.
Agnes: Oh yeah!? Name three.
May: Hmm. Well... there’s porkchop night in the dining hall, there’s those letters from your grandkids, and then there’s your spongebath from that male nurse, Eduardo!
Agnes: Ugh! I am sick and fuckin’ tired of pokechops and my grandkids are a couple of lame ass weiners! They ain’t cool, they can’t hang! And Eduardo is a flaming queen!
May: Agnes, your language!
Agnes: It’s true! I grabbed his “wedding tackle” last week and all he said was “Oh, you silly thing!”. I need some action, May. I NEED SOME COCK AND BALLS!
May: Agnes, stop it! You’re giving me chests pains!
Agnes: Oh, quit your bitchin’, May. I think you need a good fuck too. You know what? Let me talk to that guy in the dining hall that doesn’t speak english. Maybe he can help us.
May: Vladmir? The dishwasher? You want to have sex with him, Agnes? I don’t know about this.
Agnes: Bitch, please! You’ll be begging for seconds after I get done with that hairy little bastard. I still know some of my patented tricks, from my days on the docks.
May: You were a prostitute? Oh my goddness.
Agnes: How do you think I got the money for this place? My family? HA!! Bitch, I worked the streets, before the streets worked me! Now, let’s go get some mildly retarded immigrant lovin’
May: Well, I guess I could do the “dirty sanchez” again for old time’s sake.
:::The two old ladies grab their walkers and shuffle into the dining hall:::
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