Over The Top

I was in Best Buy yesterday when I spotted something I had been waiting for forever: Over The Top on DVD. It's one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure movies.


I know the story is quite ridiculous and far fetched, but the fun of it outweighs the film critic in me, and I enjoy the absurd characters in the last few minutes of the film.


Like Bull Hurley, and John Grizzly, and of course, Sylvester Stallone has a classic action hero name in the film as Lincoln Hawk.

The son in the film gets a little obnoxious with his constant crying, but I overlook that. I more enjoy the small cameo role of Texas pro wrestling legend Terry Funk as Robert Loggia's bodyguard, and the 80s pop song in the film Meet Me Half Way by Kenny Loggins.

They don't get much better/worse than Over The Top. And it was only $10.00!

Poor Tom Cruise

Tom can't seem to catch a break right now in the media. And I thought I might just add a little to it.

I've become an "office rat"

About two weeks ago my career took a new direction. I left survey field work and became a survey CAD tech full-time. Since then I've kind of been adjusting to the office environment. It's been interesting so far.



I must say up front that I truly enjoy my job and I work with some great people. Ok, now that I've said that, let me say I don't think I completely enjoy what I am becoming a part of, or maybe I'm just scared to conform or grow up.

When I was working in the field as an Instrument Man, I really felt like I was working and accomplishing something. It was hard work, extreme temperatures, sharpening machetes, using chainsaws, walking through waist-deep swamps filled with water moccasins. The office feels almost sinful.

I'm sitting at a computer desk with my internet radio playing, eating my english muffin. At lunch time, everyone pops in and out of everyone else's office asking who's eating at Hunt's Oyster Bar, or going to Friday's. I get e-mails all day long of cutesy jokes about the difference between men and women throughout the work day, and I connect dots on a monitor screen to make survey drawings.

I know I went to school to be a CAD tech and NOT a field surveyor, but surveying is what I've been doing for the past 2 years of my life and I'm good at it. I was recently offered a raise to come to work for a company I left a year ago because they say they need someone who knows what they're doing. It's actually quite flattering for me since I started out only two years ago making only a little more than minimum wage and now I'm in demand.

I'm probably just over-reacting. I think my blue collar roots are just fuckin' with my head (most of my family fixes cars in some way, and dress like Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard 24/7). I'm sure I'll get chemically dependent on the office air conditioning and I'll forget all about ever working outside again. It's just gonna take me a moment. Because I hate Yuppies, and I fear... I shall become one.

The Dukes of Hazzard

Lately, I've been watching more Dukes of Hazzard than anyone should. You see, what happened was I had Season 1 on DVD... and some time went by before I noticed Season 2 and 3 were both out, so I bought them at the same time. Ever since then I've been Duke-watching fool!

But I can't complain, It's one of my all-time favorite television shows. I love the stunts, the corny acting, the bad projected backgrounds while the actors are driving, and I just love the pure escapism of it.



A lot of people know that the success of Smokey and the Bandit helped spawn the Dukes. In fact, the formula for the show isn't too different from the film. But I think the show had much fuller characters in it than Smokey.

1) There's that bold yellow font again! Almost every show from the 70s and early 80s has that yellow title.
2) Tom Wopat was Luke Duke and pretty underrated by most fans because Luke never seemed to drive the General Lee (word is, that Tom was a pretty bad driver so John Schneider handled most of it). I also enjoy Tom's delivery of lines. Everything is said like it was just discovered in his head. The guys on CHiPs spoke the same way. Of course, Tom came from acting on stage and has since gone back to Broadway.
3) John Schneider was the ladies' man Bo Duke. He was also the one who did most of the "Yee Haw"s on the show. John was also proficient in the art of 70s television punch throwing. He always punches for the moon. Now John is Superman's dad on the WB show Smallville.
4) Catherine Bach. Mmmm mmm mmm. For some reason Daisy Duke had to wear panty hose or she couldn't wear those trademark shorts. Censors thought it was too sexy.
5) Denver Pyle was the wisest motherfucker in Hazzard County, and he was unforgettable as Uncle Jesse. He was such a moral character it was hard to believe he was supposed to be an ex-moon shine runner. Denver Pyle was also in other shows like Grizzly Adams and the Davey Crockett movies from Disney.
6) Sonny Shroyer was probably the most likable character on the show as good hearted Deputy Enos. Plus, he was the oldest virgin in Hazzard County. Shroyer got his own spin-off show after the second season called Enos, but it didn't do so well.
7) Ben Jones' Cooter Davenport seemed to be the only tow truck driver, mechanic, or person with dirty clothes in Hazzard County. But he was cool none the less.
8) James Best was simply kick-ass. Roscoe Coltrane was a stammering idiot and his driving always took him into a dry creek bed, tree, or right into a lake. He had a kind of Jimmy Stewart way of speaking, and his laugh was unforgettable.
9) Sorrell Booke was simply hilarious as Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg. In actuality, Sorrell wore a fat suit for the part, and spoke English so properly he practically had a British accent. He was just that good at acting silly as Boss Hogg.
10) Without the Balladeering of Waylon Jennings, the show just wouldn't be the same. Plus, you wouldn't know when the commercial break was coming up.
11) Sherriff Rosco in flight.
12) The General Lee jumping over a river.
13) Deputy Enos in hot pursuit of the Duke boys.
14) The General Lee jumping a moving train.

Slackin'

The Michael Jackson Verdict

Well, MJ was found not guilty on all counts, and is a free man. I can't say I was too surprised by the verdict, nor does it affect my day or emotions.



I was a little surprised by all the cheering outside of the courtroom, as if someone had one the lottery, but I suppose not having a life and sincerely caring if a pop star is a pedophile or not, isn't an actual crime. Just a sad statement of people's lives.

I really wanted to see Jackson found guilty. Not because I thought he was guilty, but I wanted to see if he had a cyanide capsule in his pocket, or if he was gonna hang himself with his underwear in his holding cell. Oh well, maybe next time. I would not be surprised if there is a next time.

Batman Begins again

Well, there's a new Batman movie coming out soon and I've been watching the previews and reading the reviews. So far, they've all been very positive with the only constant complaint in the reviews being that the action scenes could have been fimed better, but that the story more than makes up for it. I hope so.


So, I was at Wal-Mart the other night and saw the Batman DVD box set was only $24.99 for all four films. I know that I don't like them all, and that I most likely won't watch the movies often, but.... I just got paid and I was in the mood to burn 25 clams.

I was surprised, after sitting down and watching them all again, how much the first two films still entertained me after all these years. I was also surprised at how much hate I could feel inside me after viewing the last two films. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think that Val Kilmer did a bad job in the third fim, but the storyline and the cartoonish, over-acting, 70s TV show camp, of the rest of the picture just pissed me off. The fourth film, however, didn't seem to get anything right in my eyes.

Hopefully the new Batman film will erase the memory of Joel Schumacher's work, and let things get back on track.

Darth Krispies

I shall try to make this my last Star Wars related post for a while.

One Last Salute

This may be the last thing that I write for long
Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song, for you and only you

As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye
My foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now

You wanted the best, it wasn't me, will you give it back
Now I'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive, is this what you want
Is this what you need, how you end up let me know.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song

The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream's beginning and the time rolls onIt seems so surreal, now I sing it.
Somehow I knew that it would be this way,
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade.
Now i'm gone, just try and stop me now.

You wanted the best, it wasn't me, will you give it back
Now i'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive, is this what you want
Is this what you need, how you end up let me know.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song

And will you need me now, you'll find a way somehow
You want it too, I want it too.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me whenI'm gone
This is the last song
This is the last song
This is the last song...

- The Last Song by The All-American Rejects

This is it. My last hoorah before I'm off to basic training. I'll be gone a while. 9 and a half weeks minimum, somewhere around 26 weeks maximum. I just want you all to know that I'm thinking about you and I can't wait to come home to see what I missed.

I don't know if I'll regret going to the Army or where life takes me from this point. I've had a proper send-off from my best friends in the world, both in real life and online. I'm going to miss all the laughs and tears that I get to share with you guys, but rest assured, I'll be back soon enough better than ever.

In not too short of a time, my good friend Terri (VampyreHuntress@aol.com) will contact all the mofos that matter with my address that you can all send me hand-written letters to while I'm away. She'll also be sending all you mofos some semi-regular updates about how I'm doing, seeing that I'll be writing her.

Anyway, I love ya guys and I hope you'll still be around when I get back. That's all I have to say, so wish me luck and I'll see you all when I see you!

Signed with high regards,

Matthew L. Mills
DarkCorner7659
The Milkman
...and all those other names you mooks may have known me by at some point.

At The Movies: Episode III

So, I went to the theatre last weekend and saw Episode III, and I have to say it was pretty cool.


It was definitely the darkest of all the Star Wars movies, and it had the longest fight in it also. Although, everyone seemed to make a bigger deal out of the lightsabre fight than I think was warranted (it was a longer fight than any other, but I really didn't see any other difference in it).

The graphic nature of the ending was also interesting, but I'm still not so sure that the movie was PG-13, and not PG. Compared to what passes as PG-13 it seemed pretty tame to me. He gets burned badly, I don't think that's such an offensive thing. If you watch the Goonies, the kids say things like,"Shit" and "Damn It" over and over.

The coolest thing to me though, was how the movie got really retro toward the end, to blend Episode III into Episode IV from 1978. Everyone starts to get bigger hair and sideburns, and start wearing very ugly powder blue and brown jumpsuits. Plus, the ships start to get whiter inside and start to get that plastic interior look that they have in the original trilogy.

The touch of making a digital, younger Gov. Tarkin was neat too, who was played in the original film by the late british horror film star Peter Cushing.

There are some hoaky moments in the film, like when Darth Vader does his already mocked yell of sadness about his wife's death. If you haven't heard it, it's pretty much the same yell that got laughs in Rambo II and was removed after test screenings, but I'm sure George Lucas didn't show this movie to anyone but his close friends first. Darth Vader simply raises his arms up toward the sky and yealls in his James Earl Jones voice,"NOOOOOO!!!"

Besides small moments like that, I thought the movie worked pretty well. I would say it's the best of the new three, and that Phantom Menace still sucks.

Be Srue to Raed Tihs

Resraechres at Cmabirgde Uinvrestiy fnuod taht the odrer ltteers are wtitren in deson't mttaer as lnog as the frist and lsat ltteers are in the rgiht palce. Yuo'll be albe to raed the wrods croerctly no mtater how jubmled the lteters are. It semes taht yuor barin dosne't raed ecah lteter but sees the wohle wrod at ocne.

Credit: Ripley's Believe it or Not! Souvenier Guidebook

Trippy.

-LZ