Thursday, February 3, 2005

Stories from the vault: Cumberland, MD


In previous "From the vault:" posts I've mentioned that all these stories took place in Western Maryland. Well, to be more precise, they all take place in Cumberland, MD.

I currently live in Panama City, FL(there's a "From the vault:" post concerning that reason, in the future). Shortly after graduating from Fort Hill High School in 1999, I came to live here in 2000. Moving 1,000 miles was an opportunity to get my life on track and change my direction(which I didn't have). Since moving to Florida I quit using drugs, and no longer get drunk. I've finished school, and have a pretty good job as a Land Surveyor. I also met my wife, and got married at 22. My life is comfortable, and more than I expected of it a few years ago.

So, when I say these stories no longer reflect me, I mean it. But, they definitely reflect the person I used to be(and the person most of my friends still are). I just figured I never really speak about myself because such posts are usually boring to me, and I didn't want to bore you. So, that's why I decided to just hit the highlights and lowlights real quick with these "From the vault:" posts.

This one concerns my hometown: Cumberland, MD. The "Queen City" as it says on the welcome signs on the edge of town(because at one time Cumberland was the second largest city in MD). Since those days, however, most of the factory work left town and all the blue-collar workers basically became unemployed, or moved away. The city has become kind of a retirement town, since only the retired can afford to live there. And retirement towns don't offer much in the way of entertainment.

Being a teenager in Cumberland was like slowly drowning in your own inevitable future. No one seemed to have any real ambition. Entire families had literally grown up and stayed put there. Some of my friends could find there father, mother, grandparents, aunts, and uncle's graduation pictures in the school library. I didn't have that distinction since my mother, Debbie, moved us to Cumberland when she decided Baltimore was getting too rough in the early 80s. My father, Rene, was a U.S. Navy salvage diver, and also from San Juan, Puerto Rico.

My parents met in Baltimore when my father was stationed there. Their relationship was always turbulent. When my mother got pregnant with me, they decided to get married, and moved to Puerto Rico. Knowing them both today, I'm not sure what they had in common besides me. They got divorced when I was 4, and my mother got custody. Afterward, she brought us(myself and my older brother Mike from a previous marriage) to Cumberland.



Now, as a young kid, Cumberland was just fine and dandy! You could play outside without supervision, ride your bike around town without worry, or play with all the other kids running around in the streets. I enjoyed being a young kid there, swimming in creeks, eating wild berries, and sled riding like crazy. When I got older the lack of actual stimulation in the city began to become more apparent.

In fact, I would say the total boredom of the place was the number one factor in me deciding to try alcohol and marijuana! I had to do something to kill the time! I mean, when you've got nothing to do but watch TV and play video games, after a while you're gonna want to do something to enhance the mundane and repetitive. You get tired of going to the Country Club Mall(the only damned mall, and it's very sad), or the bowling alley, or the campgrounds, or the rival high school, Allegany, to bust out windows with rocks. After you've done that so many times, there isn't much else. Cumberland looks like the town in "Footloose", only we allowed dancing because the parents payed no attention to their kids(most of the parents were too busy getting drunk or stoned themselves).

The highlight of the Cumberland Times-News paper was the Local Police Log. It's such a small town full of substance abuse, that you can open the paper everyday and read about the drunken arrest of someone you knew. Welfare was also rampant, and there were three full scale projects: Jane Frazier Village, Fort Cumberland Homes, and Benjamin Banniker Apartments.

Most cities have about a half a dozen High Schools, it seems. We had Fort Hill(my school with the red and white colors), and Allegany(with the blue and white). Our school mascot was "The Sentinel" soldier. Theres was a "Camper"(yeah, what the f*ck is that?! An Indian). High school football dominated the little valley. Just like being able to find your dad's graduation picture, you could also find his football jersey retired in the gym. "Varsity Blues"-type pathetic local sports traditions of every boy in certain families being on the team.


Missing from this photo, are the two gymnasiums on the right, and the auditorium on the left

So, living in such outright nothingness was definitely a factor in my past behavior. My home life at the time, was also just as strong, but I'll talk about that later.

A poem: the bad-high-school-poem blueprint

(Alternate title: Every poem written by the depressed goth kid in art class)



Death grips my paralyzed body,

Your stares shatter my soul like a sheet of glass,

I can taste your pain, it's sweeter than mine,

Oh, how I hate working after school at Krispy Kreme



I walk alone in a world of smoke, surrounded by paper dolls,

My blood is cold and my thoughts are damp, like rag soaked in agony's water,

The smell of burning flesh is my companion through the furnace of life,

Someone scrathed my Cure CD, and I need a ride to the mall



Your minds are cancerous with the thought of conformity,

Individuality scares you out of your clothes from Old Navy,

My razor blade knows my essence more than anyone else,

Can you tell me where Drama Club meets?



Crumbling like stone under the weight of your deception,

Flying through the flames of hell, like a dragon of light,

Tasting the freedom of death through the chains of your love,

Can you feel my misery rising in my eyes?,

Can I borrow some black eyeliner, I'm all out!

Tax Returns

Anyone get their tax return yet?

Anyone make out like a bandit?

Anyone get ass-raped by Uncle Sam?





As for myself, I shall find out tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 2, 2005

Pope Lord of the Sith

Pope's condition stabilizes





Pope John Paul II's condition stabilized this morning after overnight hospital treatment for an acute respiratory infection, a papal spokesman said. The pope will remain in the hospital "a few days," according to a Vatican radio report. "Today there is no reason to be alarmed," spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.(click on the above link for CNN's full story, and all things Pope!)




Maybe I'm just a complete bastard, but Pope John Paul II should be dead already! His resistance to "joining the light" has become very strong in recent years, and also extremely creepy to me. He's got to be doin' something "other-worldly" to stay alive at this point! Maybe he's found a way to suck the lifeforce out of young boys through a kind of perverted telepathy(that accusation was uncalled for, huh?).



Plus, am I the only one who's noticed his strange resemblance to the Emperor in the Star Wars trilogy?! Instead of battling through the Clone Wars, he's been working through the Priest/Abuse scandal(simply not as glamorous, but both involving evil men using their light sabers inappropriately).



I don't know, maybe it's wrong to feel this way. But I apologize for NOTHING!! I'm simply being honest when I say,"The Pope gives me the creeps. Die already!"





The Pope, as a Padawan learner




The Pope, after taking over the Federation armies





Tuesday, February 1, 2005

King of Blogs

It seems someone signed me up for some kind of Blog contest(who was it? I've got no clue).



Competition isn't really my thing, so I'm planning on doing my normal thing and just having fun with it. We'll see what happens, and I hope to get some support from the regular visitors(that's right! all 2 of you!).




Hello,



I am writing to seek players for next weeks King of the Blogs tournament

that starts February 7. This is a great opportunity to get some

attention for your blog, and have some fun. If interested email me asap.

If not please email me anyways so I can seek another blog. The first 3

respondents are in, the rest are penciled in for the week after.



Here is full info for the contest:



Hello,



If you are receiving this email you have been chosen to participate in

the King of the Blogs Tournament. Congratulations. The tournament

begins the Monday of each week and will run one week. At the end of the

week

the judges will have their say and of you will be crowned King to

return the week after for the next tournament to defend the crown. The

other two will fade into obscurity, possibly to return one day for

another shot at glory.



********** Please respond to this email ASAP to complete your entry.

*************



The official rules can be found here:



http://kingofblogs.mu.nu/archives/058114.php



I will summarize a bit here:



1. All participants are required to add the following javascript to

their site (remove the space at the end before the slash)







2. Keep your tournament entries PG-13. If you need an explanation of

this let me know.



3. You will be scored on 3 things: your site, a post you submit to us

for judging from your blog, and an answer to a challenge question which

I will send out Sunday night. Your submitted post and answer to the

challenge question must be in my email box by 1:00 PM on Wednesday. I

will then send it out to the judges. They need to have their rulings

in to me by Sunday.



4. You can gain extra points to help your cause 2 different ways:



A. There will be a poll on the top of the page starting late Sunday

night that will have each of the blogs listed. It will end Friday

night. Whoever gets the most votes will gain 3 extra points, second

most votes will get 2 and third most will get 1. Drive the masses to

vote for you and you will be a little closer to the crown.



B. Ask other blogs to trackback to the main tournament post (it will

be up late Sunday night also) and mention their support for your blog

to win. Whoever gets the most trackbacks gets 3 points, second most 2

and third most 1. No trackbacks= no extra points. You trackbacking to

the post from your blog doesn't count. If you run multiple blogs those

other blogs don't count either.



Be sure to read the official rules also. Ignorance of the rules is no

defense later on.



Here is a run-down of the judges, hosts and the commissioner:



Commissioner:

The King of Fools http://www.king-of-fools.com/



Judges:



Bad Example http://badexample.mu.nu/

News from the Great Beyond http://songstress7.typepad.com/

Smarter Cop http://s88251339.onlinehome.us/smartercop/



Hosts:

ChristWeb http://www.mac-con.com/christweb/

Patriot Paradox http://www.patriot-paradox.com/



Finally a few hints:



1. As in any attempt at a crown bribery and backstabbing may be used.

This tournament is meant to be fun and if you are contacted by the

host in midstream asking questions be sure to play along. You are not

trying to win a beauty pageant, but a crown. Read The Prince and batten

down the hatches.



2. Humour works. Also reading and trying to know the judges well, as

well as the hosts and commissioner, may be a good strategy. Flattery

is permitted, and encouraged. Gratuitous linking, and self-linkage has

been known to go a long way.



3. Have fun. The rules are there to keep this running smoothly, but we

aren't going to be blowing a whistle and throwing a flag every few

seconds. We want this to be a success, and your blog to do well. Even

if you lose you are getting feedback, and links. Go with the flow,

wipe the mud off your face and return with a bigger army next time.



Once again this is a game. Let me stress: A GAME! Don't take

everything seriously except for the judges critiques. They have been

known to give great advice mixed in with humour and snarkiness. Have

fun, and laugh. Whining is not permitted, and whiners will be thrown

in the tower, and the royal key will be locked away.



Any questions?



Thanks,

Nick



--

Contact Info:



Nick *****



Email: patriot@patriot-paradox.com



Patriot Paradox: http://www.patriot-paradox.com

UKD 02/01/05

The Comic Strip "Ugly Kids Daycare" by Norrin Radd

















02/01/05

A poem: Apt. I-4

(Alternate title: The nosey old bitch in the apartment below me)



Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,

I'm not gonna rape you, crazy old bitch!



I hate your dog, he looks like a ball of lint with teeth,

I hate your glasses, did you steal them from an Elton John auction?,

I hate your robe, it's baby blue and looks like shit,

I hate your head, you look like George Burns!



Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,

I live in the fuckin' building, crazy old bitch!



No, I didn't hear the loud party last night,

No, I don't know who pissed in front of your door,

No, I don't know whose truck that is,

No, we didn't play my stereo until 3 am, I was in bed at 10 pm



Quit looking out your blinds when I pull in,

If you don't quit staring at me, I'm gonna RAPE your old ass!