Who would have the ugliest child in show business?
I was thinking that if Oprah Winfrey and Mike Tyson ever hooked up, they might have a child with a large sloping forehead and a face as wide as a football. Of course, if Oprah ever got pregnant by Mike, I beleive she would pull the fetus out of her body with her bare hands, throw it on the ground, and stomp on it with a golf cleat.
Steve Buscemi and Quentin Tarantino are both graphically deformed and have the look of some kind of government breeding program gone terribly wrong. I beleive no matter which women these two had a child with, the creation could possibly fall out of the woman's vagina wearing a helmet, and velcro shoes.
I think Sara Jessica Parker and Macy Gray could also churn out some mutated shaved rats, but I don't want to jump to conclusions.On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Rosie O'Donnell could deliver some quality heffers, but that will never happen. Not because she's gay, but because if any man puts his penis in her black moss covered slop-through it would be eaten off his body by her carniverous and rabid clam! (it has teeth and a voice like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors - "Feed me, seymour" - her vagina screams as Rosie dangles an entire raw chicken over it's snapping jaws)
These are just a few celebrities that came into my mind, let me know if you think there are more that should be included on the list.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Note to self:
Audioblogger was meant for sober people without a cold. File the last entry under "Just Plain Sad".
Thursday, December 9, 2004
Say what?!
Well, I finally found a use for Audioblogger. I decided to get speech-slurring drunk and read names and profiles out of Pro Wrestling Illustrated's PWI 500 (the annual ranking of pro wrestlers from 1 to 500). I don't know if anyone will enjoy hearing this (personally, it's painful for me to listen to it), but I honestly don't care because it's Thursday night (I don't work on Friday, Saturday or Sunday) and I'm so drunk right now I can't believe I'm actually typing this! I'm typing very slowing, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! (falls off stool and pisses pants)
Senseless
I heard this story on the radio while I was at work this morning, and couldn't believe my ears. I've come to expect and accept the most bizarre behavior and unexplainable events, but this really hit me from out of nowhere. And, it makes absolutley no sense at all! I just don't get what goes throught the minds of some people in this world. Thanks to the actions of this mental defective, the world is missing three people who should still be here, and the simple act of concert-going is most likely about to change for a long time. Dimebag Darrell was a great guitar player who came to Ohio to put on a show, and now he dead because some guy didn't like that Pantera split up! I don't what to think, except to say I wish these kind of people would quick ruining the world for others, because they don't like it. Don't start killing others who want to live because you want to die. Put a gun in your mouth and leave the rest of us alone!
Dimebag Darrell, Four Others Killed In Ohio Concert Shooting
12.09.2004
Man jumps onstage and shoots bandmembers, others.
Dimebag Darrell, guitarist for Damageplan and Pantera, was killed during a shooting spree at a Columbus, Ohio, nightclub Wednesday night. He was 38.
Darrell, real name Darrell Abbott, was among the five people killed during the incident. Also
dead are the gunman, 25-year-old Nathan Gale of nearby Marysville, Ohio, and two fans, Nathan Bray, 23, and Erin Halk, 29, according to Columbus Police Department public information officer Sherry Mercurio. Gale also wounded two people.
Damageplan had just begun their first song in front of approximately 250 people at Alrosa Villa when the gunman jumped onstage, made a comment about Pantera, and began firing at close range into Darrell's body, shooting him several times before opening fire on the crowd.
A patrol officer nearby, James Niggemeyer, heard the call of shots fired at 10:18 p.m. and by 10:20 p.m. had snuck inside the club through a back door, according to public information officer Sergeant Brent Mull. After entering, Niggemeyer, who had no backup, confronted the gunman onstage, where he observed one victim and Gale holding a hostage by the neck.
"The officer was able to strategically gun this guy down before he was able to kill his hostage, and it appeared that he was about to kill his hostage," Mull said at a press conference Thursday (December 9). "The suspect had the hostage in a headlock situation and had his firearm out shooting, and it's believed he was about to take his gun to the hostage."
But the hostage wriggled out of the way slightly, Mull said, and the officer was able to kill the shooter with a single shotgun blast as the hostage escaped uninjured. One eyewitness told CNN that Gale reloaded his gun during the shooting spree. The Columbus Dispatch described the gunman as a tall, bald, heavyset man in a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey and jeans.
The fifth victim's name and those of the two wounded have not yet been released, but the club's manager told the Dispatch that one of the wounded was a security guard who had tried to wrestle the attacker's gun away.
"If the officer hadn't acted when he did and how he did, we'd probably be looking at more dead, because this guy was actively shooting," Mull said. Following the incident, police took more than 200 patrons onto three city-donated buses, where they were interviewed by some 60 police detectives.
"The ones that were inside and witnessed this ran for their lives and were in fear for their lives," Mull said. "They are victims too, and we want to take care of them."
In 911 tapes released Thursday, one caller tells the operator, "There's been a shooting! Somebody's shooting! He's shooting the band, oh sh--, he's still shooting!" Another is heard frantically telling the 911 operator, "We need to get out, we need to get out! I can't, I can't get out."
One concertgoer, his jeans torn and soaked with blood, told CNN he jumped onstage and attempted to give Darrell CPR before paramedics arrived.
Police have interviewed friends and relatives of the shooter, attempting to establish a motive for his actions. "We may never know the motive for this," Mull said, "unless he left a note somewhere else."
One eyewitness, 37-year-old food vendor Medhat Mokhtar, told MTV News that he saw Gale lingering outside the club prior to Damageplan's set. Gale paced near Mokhtar's food cart and only entered the club when Damageplan's performance began. Shortly thereafter, Mokhtar noticed concertgoers fleeing the club and screaming, and the vendor headed inside to see what the disturbance was. He said he then made his way to the stage where a crowd had gathered around the wounded Darrell. "I tried to push them away, but people loved him too much. The people were kissing his hands and his feet and trying to give him CPR," Mokhtar said.
Searching Gale's residence is the next step of the investigation, as is analyzing amateur video footage taken of the incident, which homicide investigators are looking at now, Mull said. The venue had no surveillance footage. Mull also said he had been told there was no metal detector at the club, though he could not confirm that at press time and a club spokesperson could not be reached.
As word of Dimebag's death rippled through the metal community, the news was met with shock and sadness.
"I'm speechless," former Rob Zombie/ Ozzy Osbourne bassist Rob Blasko Nicholson said. "This is totally unreal. Dimebag is a f---ing legend and this is total bullsh--."
"This is insane and this is beyond travesty," Killswitch Engage frontman and former Damageplan tour partner Howard Jones said. "This is beyond anything I've ever heard. This shouldn't happen in or outside of the rock and metal community. He will be missed and mourned as a person, as a musician, and as a friend."
"Let's for a second forget that I even knew him, [and focus on] just the fact that this was allowed to happen," Slipknot singer Corey Taylor said. "If somebody can jump onstage with a gun and shoot one of the most influential guitarists of my generation, what's next? If this is allowed to happen, what the hell? What does that say? Just that somebody would think this was a good idea in his own insane world, what does that say about where we're at right now? It's definitely given me pause. I'm an entertainer as well as a musician, so I have to look at this and think not only has one of my really good friends died, but what if that had been me?"
Damageplan also features Dimebag's brother, former Pantera drummer Vinnie Paul; singer Patrick Lachman and bassist Bob Zilla.
Dimebag Darrell, Four Others Killed In Ohio Concert Shooting
12.09.2004
Man jumps onstage and shoots bandmembers, others.
Dimebag Darrell, guitarist for Damageplan and Pantera, was killed during a shooting spree at a Columbus, Ohio, nightclub Wednesday night. He was 38.
Darrell, real name Darrell Abbott, was among the five people killed during the incident. Also
dead are the gunman, 25-year-old Nathan Gale of nearby Marysville, Ohio, and two fans, Nathan Bray, 23, and Erin Halk, 29, according to Columbus Police Department public information officer Sherry Mercurio. Gale also wounded two people.
Damageplan had just begun their first song in front of approximately 250 people at Alrosa Villa when the gunman jumped onstage, made a comment about Pantera, and began firing at close range into Darrell's body, shooting him several times before opening fire on the crowd.
A patrol officer nearby, James Niggemeyer, heard the call of shots fired at 10:18 p.m. and by 10:20 p.m. had snuck inside the club through a back door, according to public information officer Sergeant Brent Mull. After entering, Niggemeyer, who had no backup, confronted the gunman onstage, where he observed one victim and Gale holding a hostage by the neck.
"The officer was able to strategically gun this guy down before he was able to kill his hostage, and it appeared that he was about to kill his hostage," Mull said at a press conference Thursday (December 9). "The suspect had the hostage in a headlock situation and had his firearm out shooting, and it's believed he was about to take his gun to the hostage."
But the hostage wriggled out of the way slightly, Mull said, and the officer was able to kill the shooter with a single shotgun blast as the hostage escaped uninjured. One eyewitness told CNN that Gale reloaded his gun during the shooting spree. The Columbus Dispatch described the gunman as a tall, bald, heavyset man in a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey and jeans.
The fifth victim's name and those of the two wounded have not yet been released, but the club's manager told the Dispatch that one of the wounded was a security guard who had tried to wrestle the attacker's gun away.
"If the officer hadn't acted when he did and how he did, we'd probably be looking at more dead, because this guy was actively shooting," Mull said. Following the incident, police took more than 200 patrons onto three city-donated buses, where they were interviewed by some 60 police detectives.
"The ones that were inside and witnessed this ran for their lives and were in fear for their lives," Mull said. "They are victims too, and we want to take care of them."
In 911 tapes released Thursday, one caller tells the operator, "There's been a shooting! Somebody's shooting! He's shooting the band, oh sh--, he's still shooting!" Another is heard frantically telling the 911 operator, "We need to get out, we need to get out! I can't, I can't get out."
One concertgoer, his jeans torn and soaked with blood, told CNN he jumped onstage and attempted to give Darrell CPR before paramedics arrived.
Police have interviewed friends and relatives of the shooter, attempting to establish a motive for his actions. "We may never know the motive for this," Mull said, "unless he left a note somewhere else."
One eyewitness, 37-year-old food vendor Medhat Mokhtar, told MTV News that he saw Gale lingering outside the club prior to Damageplan's set. Gale paced near Mokhtar's food cart and only entered the club when Damageplan's performance began. Shortly thereafter, Mokhtar noticed concertgoers fleeing the club and screaming, and the vendor headed inside to see what the disturbance was. He said he then made his way to the stage where a crowd had gathered around the wounded Darrell. "I tried to push them away, but people loved him too much. The people were kissing his hands and his feet and trying to give him CPR," Mokhtar said.
Searching Gale's residence is the next step of the investigation, as is analyzing amateur video footage taken of the incident, which homicide investigators are looking at now, Mull said. The venue had no surveillance footage. Mull also said he had been told there was no metal detector at the club, though he could not confirm that at press time and a club spokesperson could not be reached.
As word of Dimebag's death rippled through the metal community, the news was met with shock and sadness.
"I'm speechless," former Rob Zombie/ Ozzy Osbourne bassist Rob Blasko Nicholson said. "This is totally unreal. Dimebag is a f---ing legend and this is total bullsh--."
"This is insane and this is beyond travesty," Killswitch Engage frontman and former Damageplan tour partner Howard Jones said. "This is beyond anything I've ever heard. This shouldn't happen in or outside of the rock and metal community. He will be missed and mourned as a person, as a musician, and as a friend."
"Let's for a second forget that I even knew him, [and focus on] just the fact that this was allowed to happen," Slipknot singer Corey Taylor said. "If somebody can jump onstage with a gun and shoot one of the most influential guitarists of my generation, what's next? If this is allowed to happen, what the hell? What does that say? Just that somebody would think this was a good idea in his own insane world, what does that say about where we're at right now? It's definitely given me pause. I'm an entertainer as well as a musician, so I have to look at this and think not only has one of my really good friends died, but what if that had been me?"
Damageplan also features Dimebag's brother, former Pantera drummer Vinnie Paul; singer Patrick Lachman and bassist Bob Zilla.
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
Shooters after recess!
Fourth-grader suspended over suspected 'Jell-O shots'
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) -- An 8-year-old girl was suspended for nine days for bringing to school what appeared to be about 30 "Jell-O shots" -- though it was unclear whether they contained alcohol.
The incident occurred November 29, as the girl stood after classes outside Geraldine Boudreaux Elementary School in Terrytown, a New Orleans suburb. A teacher spotted liquid dripping out of the student's bookbag and found what looked like the small cups of alcohol-laced gelatin that are sold in bars, schools spokesman Jeff Nowakowski said.
The girl told the principal that her mother, who works in a bar, makes alcoholic shots at home and sells them at work. The fourth-grader said her mother had instructed her to take the shots to school and sell them, three for $1, to make some money for Christmas, Nowakowski said.
The gelatin was turned over to the sheriff's department for testing to see if it contained alcohol.
The girl was suspended for violating school rules against possessing or trying to distribute a "lookalike," or something that appears to contain drugs or alcohol.
Under the lookalike rule, the girl's suspension will stand no matter what the sheriff's department finds.
"The school system's position is, it doesn't matter if it had alcohol in it or not," Nowakowski said.
The names of the girl and her mother were not released.
The mother must also allow school officials to test her daughter's hair for signs of drug use, Nowakowski said.
When I was in school, we did much worse stuff than that!
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) -- An 8-year-old girl was suspended for nine days for bringing to school what appeared to be about 30 "Jell-O shots" -- though it was unclear whether they contained alcohol.
The incident occurred November 29, as the girl stood after classes outside Geraldine Boudreaux Elementary School in Terrytown, a New Orleans suburb. A teacher spotted liquid dripping out of the student's bookbag and found what looked like the small cups of alcohol-laced gelatin that are sold in bars, schools spokesman Jeff Nowakowski said.
The girl told the principal that her mother, who works in a bar, makes alcoholic shots at home and sells them at work. The fourth-grader said her mother had instructed her to take the shots to school and sell them, three for $1, to make some money for Christmas, Nowakowski said.
The gelatin was turned over to the sheriff's department for testing to see if it contained alcohol.
The girl was suspended for violating school rules against possessing or trying to distribute a "lookalike," or something that appears to contain drugs or alcohol.
Under the lookalike rule, the girl's suspension will stand no matter what the sheriff's department finds.
"The school system's position is, it doesn't matter if it had alcohol in it or not," Nowakowski said.
The names of the girl and her mother were not released.
The mother must also allow school officials to test her daughter's hair for signs of drug use, Nowakowski said.
When I was in school, we did much worse stuff than that!
Sunday, December 5, 2004
I thought Kevin Bacon put a stop to this stuff in the 80s?
Principal Reconsiders Permission Slips for Gay Couples
Sunday, December 05, 2004
WEST JORDAN, Utah — A principal who wants gay couples to get permission slips from their parents before they can attend school dances promised to re-evaluate the policy after protesters held four days of protests.
Copper Hills High School Principal Tom Worlton issued the policy last month but agreed to revisit it Friday. He said he saw the policy as a way to alert the parents to the dangers their children might face.
Jason Atwood, 17, his boyfriend, Tom Tolman, 15, who attends another school, and small circle of friends held protests across the street from the suburban Salt Lake City school before they met with Worlton. The protesters said they were subjected to insults, obscene gestures, egg throwing and snowballs from passing cars during the four days.
"I'm so proud of you," Tolman's mother, Patricia Gilley, said after dropping him off. "You can't help who you love."
Atwood's father, Quovaudis Atwood, said he feared Worlton's policy would absolve the school of responsibility if anything were to happen to his son.
"I'm not at the dance with Jason. ... How could I be responsible for my son?" he said. "As long as I'm paying taxes to support that school, my son deserves every bit of protection, education, whatever that school has to offer."
Worlton said the policy stemmed from students' concerns about potential harassment. "That was not an attempt to get out of liability and not a response to deprive them from coming to the dance," he said.
Worlton said he will make a decision on the policy in time for the prom.
_______________
I wonder if Bert and Ernie had to put up with this kind of shit on Sesame Street?
Sunday, December 05, 2004
WEST JORDAN, Utah — A principal who wants gay couples to get permission slips from their parents before they can attend school dances promised to re-evaluate the policy after protesters held four days of protests.
Copper Hills High School Principal Tom Worlton issued the policy last month but agreed to revisit it Friday. He said he saw the policy as a way to alert the parents to the dangers their children might face.
Jason Atwood, 17, his boyfriend, Tom Tolman, 15, who attends another school, and small circle of friends held protests across the street from the suburban Salt Lake City school before they met with Worlton. The protesters said they were subjected to insults, obscene gestures, egg throwing and snowballs from passing cars during the four days.
"I'm so proud of you," Tolman's mother, Patricia Gilley, said after dropping him off. "You can't help who you love."
Atwood's father, Quovaudis Atwood, said he feared Worlton's policy would absolve the school of responsibility if anything were to happen to his son.
"I'm not at the dance with Jason. ... How could I be responsible for my son?" he said. "As long as I'm paying taxes to support that school, my son deserves every bit of protection, education, whatever that school has to offer."
Worlton said the policy stemmed from students' concerns about potential harassment. "That was not an attempt to get out of liability and not a response to deprive them from coming to the dance," he said.
Worlton said he will make a decision on the policy in time for the prom.
_______________
I wonder if Bert and Ernie had to put up with this kind of shit on Sesame Street?
Thoughtless Gift Ideas
NAMCO 5-in-1 Joystick
I'm a notorious "last-minute shopper", so these little puppies are perfect for me! I got about a dozen people to cover during the holiday season, and I'm not Donald Trump. About $20 each, I bought four of these bitches! Two of the Pac-man: for my younger brother and brother-in-law; One of the Frogger: for my little sister; and one of the Mrs. Pac-man: for my other sister. That's four people down, eight more to go.
I'm a notorious "last-minute shopper", so these little puppies are perfect for me! I got about a dozen people to cover during the holiday season, and I'm not Donald Trump. About $20 each, I bought four of these bitches! Two of the Pac-man: for my younger brother and brother-in-law; One of the Frogger: for my little sister; and one of the Mrs. Pac-man: for my other sister. That's four people down, eight more to go.
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